“Spanking” is just something my wife has a bugaboo about coming from me. She just thinks it’s something she or her bio-dad should do. It’s not THAT big a deal because if the child needs a spanking and I tell Lunar “You need to whoop Mystic’s/Fairy Maiden’s ass”. I don’t need to do it as long as it gets done.
This has been THE INVINCIBLE SWORDSMAN saying:
As long as we’re together on the decision and consistent, then it doesn’t really matter who delivers the ass-whipping. Really, Mystic has had her ass whipped about… 4 times since she’s turned 12. But we have made mistakes with her though. I definitely feel we should’ve trusted her less and I should’ve followed my instincts with her more about whether or not she was lying to me.
We’ve been trying to make sure we see eye to eye on stuff, but we aren’t as far along as you.
I’ve always wondered how I’d have handled being a Stepdad - exactly due to ‘rights of punishment’ haha. I’d hope I’d have a mildly decent relationship with the biological - in which case I’d be the first to text him, because frnakly I’d want him to be there and to be on the same front as him, but its not always a perfect situation so that cant be expected. More props to step dads in general - it takes a good man to play that role well. Though the same can be said for step mothers…got to be tough.
I’m not sure I should say this, but I’m a teacher. I can tell which kids have been disciplined (not Michael Jackson-tier BEAT) and which ones haven’t. Disciplining a child has its time and place, but it’s not everyone’s style. I’ve seen both spectrums where it’s used effectively (sporadically and strategically to teach what is inappropriate in societal behavior) and where it’s used ineffectively (where you have to call Child services).
The ones that are unruly and disrespectful? They’re usually the ones without a strong male presence in the household to maintain order, since single moms usually let them go astray and become wild. I don’t condone beatings at all, but I do support structure, and that differs with each household.
I never talk to bio-dad. I may have had… 2 conversations with him in 10 years.
Mystic loves her father a lot. Cries over him. Tries to do things to make him happy. She doesn’t see me as her father. To her, I’m the smart guy who takes care of her. I’m more of a fatherly-figure. But she’s never considered me as her dad.
This has been THE INVINCIBLE SWORDSMAN saying:
I’ve never felt felt the need to speak to bio-dad about anything. I kinda feel like he doesn’t talk with Mystic and Fairy Maiden like he should but… I’ll take the burden if he doesn’t want it and he only seems to want the burden when it suits him.
Should I beat my kids with a stick? Like an arcade stick?
Or should I beat them with a hitbox?
The painful irony of the name of the hitbox I think would both let them know how clever I am while psychologically scarring them from having anything to do with my hobby.
Yeah, I’m going with the hitbox.
I’ll update you all in 10 years how that works out for me.
I whopped my son a few times and the ass whoopings are far and few between. But now he would rather I whoop him than punish him. The kid literally begs for whoopings. Him to sit in the corner in the kitchen for hours on in. He’s allowed to use the bathroom, get water and have meal brakes. Other than that, he can’t do shit. He fucking hates it. No TV, videogames, playing outside. Just sit there. I also make him practice writing his multiplication tables and words and he can’t ask for shit. When he’s good, we give him the world. When he’s bad, we take the world from him.
@Unreallystic: Thanks for the link! gonna put that on my reading list after I finish up Mrs. Principe’s book. Got a ton of stuff I’m reading now >.<
Have you guys decided upon any schools lately? One of the reasons I’m reading brain on childhood is because of my strong interest in pedagogic techniques(especially considering the debates we’re having about public schools vs private schools). I’ve been doing a lot of research into alternative school models, and have found three that really stood out that you all might be familiar with.
Montessori:
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Waldorf:
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Sudbury:
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My favorite model so far has been Waldorf, yet ultimately their teaching of old testament stories as well as their completely wacky version of evolution was a deal breaker for me.
What are you guys’ plans as far as education, will you send them to public or private schools, or go for a different schooling model entirely?
Well my kids will more than likely do all public school for financial reasons…I want 4…I have a gut feeling that we’ll compromise @ 3…I doubt I can pay for all of them to go to private school. My wife is looking at getting Nathan into a school now (he’s 14 months ha) I forget the type though…I’ll ask her tomorrow, the basic concept if I’m remembering correctly was promotion was based off completion and not ‘time’ - so the kids got to move at their own pace. If its the same as a babysitter I’m fine paying for it It helps though that my wife teaches elementary…so she ca get him ready for middle school where I step in cracks knuckles and get him READY to really learn.
So…my wife and I are playing the name game again because we theorize it might be happening again. How’d you come up with your kids’ names? MY first son was an amalgamation of a song (Outkast) and a friend of mine’s son (yeah I stole the name, but it just worked. The middle name - well it was actually a great coincidence, in ym wife’s family the first born sons’ middle name is always Robert, and I wanted to the middle name of my first born to be named after one of the elder statesmen in my family (Uncle Bob), so we agreed upon Robert before we were even engaged.
The first daughter I just thought of names. Natalie Ann stuck. The boy, of course I wanted my first born son to be Jr. a lot of men do. The last kid the wife thought up her name. Isabel Marie Diva. All the women from The Wifes family have the middle name Marie so Isabel got it too. The Wife wanted to add Diva in to honor her late granny, whos name was Diva Marie.
Wasn’t there this one guy from somewhere in South East Asia with a name from a manga / video game? The proof of the name was from a picture of either his driver’s license or passport. Apparently the person who handled his ID got a kick out of his name and uploaded it to the internet. It was a pretty famous/funny name that the internet was abuzz about it.
I had 3 friends that were like brothers to me growing up. I named my oldest son after 2 of them, Jason and Eric. I spelled my sons name Jayson Erik and made the third friend a god father.
Because once they start running…they start running without knowing any better. Its magnified further for me as my son is in his ‘everythings a game’ phase, so pursuing him will make him run away faster. You can verbally chastize him and that works sometimes, but often not quick enough for parental concern.
Its not something I want to do, but I’m curious was the perception is.
You obviously don’t have a child who chronically runs away the instant you turn your back.
My folks used to keep my brother on a leash and harness. Evidently, my brother would run off and often hide if they literally took their eyes off him for just a moment. He was just that type of kid, always wanted to explore and see things.
Strangers may think it’s cruel, but those who see it that way are wrong. If you have a kid that has an issue with staying by your side, it’s actually for their safety. It keeps them from getting into dangerous situations you may not be there to avert.
Aside from that, I have a 16-month old son. I’m really enjoying this age. He’s figuring so many things out, and learning how to express himself and interact with others. Kids at this age are just lots of fun.
The first 3 months were pretty brutal tho. The feeding every 2-3 hours, sleepless nights. I remember vacuuming at 3 am to trying get my kid to sleep, and hot-damn, it worked like a charm, lol.
I’ve learned that routines are crucial (at least for our kid), and my wife has done an amazing job at training our boy to sleep. It’s much harder than you think, sleeping is a learned behaviour, believe it or not.
Before I had a kid, I figured my life would be over, that I would have no time to myself, and never do anything fun again. Yes, I was wrong. I hardly get to play games any more, but I do still get to play, and enjoy my other hobbies, just to a lesser extent. More importantly though, I really enjoy hanging out with him, playing with him, and watching him learn and grow, it’s actually quite fascinating.
It helps though that my wife teaches elementary…so she ca get him ready for middle school where I step in cracks knuckles and get him READY to really learn.