Day 4
The Big Lazy
The day began like any other, with the goons pissing on Orochizoolander’s corpse. Their morning pee was interrupted, however, by the cries of Pokemon123. He stomped into the room, gun drawn.
“MY HONEY CYNTALAN IS DEEEEEEEEEEAD!” He screamed in a deep, raspy voice. “I TOLD HIM NOT TO DRINK THAT MILK! ONE OF YOU FUCKERS GONNA PAAAAAY!”
“Woah, easy there-” Gamer Guy started, but pokemon123 shot him in the nuts. Gamer Guy sank to the ground, screaming. At that point everyone drew their gun.
“Fuck this job, it doesn’t pay enough!”
“I’m getting out of here alive!”
“I’m leaving!”
The goons, their tensions having reached critical mass, paused as they aimed at each other. Then AlphaCommando sneezed, dropping the syringe he was holding.
“YOOOOOOOU!” Everyone said.
“Hey, I said it wasn’t milk!”
At that point a gunfight ensued. Alpha was the first to die, everyone shooting him at once. Then everyone fired on Hecatom, who had tried to sneak out among the confusion. Finally they all fired on each other. After 30 seconds all the goons laid on the ground, dead.
Then DukeC walked in.
“Hey guys, sorry about that. My shit took longer than IiiiiiiiiiiHOLY FUCK!”
Combo_Knight came out of the basement, rubbing his eyes. MIRACLEARROW and NupoChromine soon followed.
“What are you screaming about Duke. We’re trying to watch BraveheaaaaaaaaHOLY FUCK!”
“Yeah, it was like this when I got up here. I think we’re done here. Call it in.”
As Nupo went to go contact his station, Combo_Knight pulled out a cigarette. He offered one to Duke, but he declined. Miracle looked over the crime scene.
“A goddamn mess this is. I told you we should have kept a close eye on these jackasses.”
“Hey, saves the taxpayers from paying for a trial,” Combo_Knight said.
“Forget these assholes, let’s just get the goods and get out of here,” DukeC said.
“Where are they?”
The cops looked around for a bit until they found Bious’s briefcase, recovering about two hundred thousand dollars in drugs. After a while they finished their reports, bagged and tagged all the bodies, and traveled to the nearest bar for some much-needed R&R.
Bious drank from his wine glass, sighing a sigh of relief.
“So no one knows about what you REALLY took?”
“Nope. Switched the MLP merch with the drugs without a hitch and sold it for Five Million. And thanks to all of them “Suiciding on MILK”, I get allll the money,” Bious said. “Thank YOU, “Anglepalm”.”
“Brilliant of you, bribing that assassin to take out everyone that was a threat to you.”
“I know. Thanks to the visions, I was able to isolate that Reiraku wanted me dead. That’s why he “missed” those cops infiltrating the gang while ordering Cyntalan and jasonC to made sure I died. Too bad Alpha died as well.”
“Indeed. Part of me still thinks he was actually trying to poison the officers!”
Both of the men laughed for a minute straight.
“Hey man, thanks for getting me out of there. I owe you one,” Bious said.
“No problem friend.”
The two men shook hands.
“So what now Bious?”
“I’m out. I made too many mistakes here and only got saved due to luck. Time I took my leave of the game.”
“Shame to see you go. You were entertaining to work with.”
“What about you? You said you were planning something.”
@Vynce smiled, his hair glowing red. “We will see.”
Hecatom was lynched! He was a Goon!
Cyntalan succumbed to the MILK! He was a Lover!
XthAtGAm3RGuYX was DQ’d for skipping a vote! He was a Goon!
Mafia has achieved Parity with the remaining Civilians! Mafia Wins!
Vote Tally:
Hecatom- chadouken!, crucades, Cyntalan
Combo_Knight- AlphaCommando, pokemon123
chadouken!- NupoChromine
Crucades- DukeC
Cyntalan- Hecatom
Pokemon123- Combo_Knight
Didn’t vote- MIRACLEARROW, XthAtGAm3RGuYX
Roles, Awards, and Tiers up later. I need to rest.
