DAY 01 - Cuckold Woes
All the residents of the bastion were in their homes, most trying not to wrack their minds with guilt over killing a fellow Marvel. After all, there were only a handful of them left–killing more was only aiding the Capcoms’ efforts.
There were a few who felt it was a necessary sacrifice to thin the ranks, thus giving the Capcoms less places to hide. Noodlehead was one such person.
He was outside his quarters, repairing his auto-guns.
“Stupid thing. Why choose now to break down now? I need you working so I don’t get ganked in my sleep. I’m sure quite a few people want my head for voting not to lynch.”
He had managed to fix all but one. He walked over and hunched over it, and with a quick swipe of his wrench, the auto-gun turned on.
“There we go. Nothing a good smack wouldn’t fix!”
He threw the wrench in his tool box and picked it up. He stood up and walked toward his door. As he turned the handle, he noticed a large shadow looming over him and his door. He turned around to face whatever was behind him.
“N…oooooooooooooooooooooood…”
Noodlehead covered his mouth. He was holding vomit in his mouth. Before he could swallow it back up, an arm reached for his neck and slammed him into his door. The thing got very close to Noodlehead, now writhing in pain. It spoke.
“Nooooooood… keeeeeeep… quieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet… if… yooooouuuu… knooooooooow… goooood… fooooooooooooooooooooooooor… yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…”
Noodlehead opened his mouth and vomit poured out. The creature dropped him, stared for a while, then walked off into the distance.
Noodlehead hobbled into his quarters, and locked the door. Shortly after, the auto-guns turned on and switched to Kill On Sight mode.
Meanwhile, orochizoolander was in his quarters, locked in the water closet watching cuckold porn on his laptop.
“Fuck yeah, this is what I’m talking about.”
He remained seated on the toilet, getting more and more excited. Right as the money shot was about to occur, the screen turned off.
“What the hell? No, not now!”
He was about to reach for the keypad when the screen turned back on.
“… wut?”
The scene he was watching had been replaced by a movie of a side profile flaming skull.
“What the fuck is this? This must have been a fake seed… probably spread around by some trolls.”
The flaming skull turned to face orochizoolander. Then it spoke.
“This scene… does it remind you of the woman you were going to propose to?”
“WHAT THE FUCK!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS!??” orochizoolander screamed as he dropped the laptop. The laptop stopped in mid air, right before it touched the ground. It floated to face orochizoolander.
“Clearly you get off on watching other men pillage the fruit of your woman. I’m surprised you didn’t stand in the doorway to start spanking it when you found your woman in bed with another man.”
“How… how the fuck do you know about that? Who… WHAT the fuck are you??” orochizoolander broke into a cold sweat.
The floor of the water closet caved in, revealing a deep, dark pit, and orochizoolander fell. He fell for about 30 seconds, then he felt a force hold him in place, upside down. Terrified out of his mind, his eyes scurried about to find something–anything–in the seemingly endless abyss.
His eyes darted downward and there was the flaming skull.
“Please, PLEASE, if this is some bad dream, WAKE UP!!”
“This is not a dream. Rejoice, for you are going to be absolved of your sins.”
The skull exploded in flames, the light revealing the form of a man. He pulled out a pistol from his back pocket and aimed for orochizoolander’s head.
“Oh, god… The Rider…”
“Now, I know you know who I am. What you might not know, is how I know your story. First, you’re not the only one here with a shoryuken.com account, who frequents the relationship thread. Second, I was the one banging your woman.”
orochizoolander broke into tears. Ghost Rider cocked the pistol.
“Now, die knowing that you’ve been cleansed in the fires of Mephisto.”
Ghost Rider pulled the trigger, and orochizoolander’s lifeless body was left to fall endlessly into the abyss.
Bious, orochizoolander’s neighbor, had heard the commotion in orochizoolander’s quarters. He grabbed a shot gun and headed outside. He opened his door. No sooner than that did he see an odd sight.
There were two severed arms on the ground, holding a shot gun.
“What the… UUUUUUUAAAAARRRRRGHHHHH!!!”
He realized that those were his arms.
“It seems someone is also acting on their own tonight. No matter. As long as we get you, dear Bious, we couldn’t care less as to what else happens tonight.”
Bious fell to his knees, in shock, vacantly staring at his arms.
“This will be quick.”
With a slash, Bious’s head rolled down, night next to the arms and shot gun.
Alive:
Zero
BullDancer
Missing Person
Vynce
Pimp Willy
Oerba
Hecatom
SoVi3t
Neesa
Ben Perkins
The Martian
DaRabidDuckie
eivellordsm2
Exodus.
Redbeard
Doofenshmirtz
sikwidit
AlphaCommando
Manx
Cee Dizzy
RadicalFuzz
NickRocks
NinetiesArcade
kaz
KillaFox
Fudd
Noodlehead
Icege
The Co-Jones
SSRagna
PatakaReada
highlulu
WTF-AKUMA-HAX
FlyingWonkey
Dead:
great cow lord (MARVEL)
orochizoolander (MARVEL)
Bious (MARVEL)