for real
[details=Spoiler]they be all, why you kick my coffe, bro ;(
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A girl sits in the shower, crying. She looks to her lady bic razor. She snaps apart the plastic guard and holds the bare blade before her eyes. She closes her eyes, shakes her head woefully, and inhales deeply.
Then, wait. O-O.
She walks into the kitchen, wearing only a towel and the running shoes she wore to bed and showered in. Opens the container, takes a bite. She laughs to herself and shakes her head with a smile.
Premium Yogurt. It’s only natural you should like it. It’s not your fault.
My sister is pretty fucking dumb…
She knows about my friend, and here’s 3 interactions…
Facebook:
Her: Heard what happened, text if you need to talk
Me: What the fuck happened to real life?
Text:
Her: Happy Birthday!!!
Me: Seriously? You know what happened… Today’s not “Happy.”
Facebook:
Her: Happy Birthday!!!
Me: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? READ YOUR FUCKING MESSAGES. TODAY IS NOT THE FUCKING DAY FOR ME TO BE FUCKING HAPPY. WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THEIR BIRTHDAY WHEN YOU KNOW YOU’LL HAVE PLENTY MORE, AND YOUR BEST FUCKING FRIEND WONT EVER SEE HIS 28TH.
Her: Blah blah, “was just trying to be nice and help get your mind off of things” blah blah.
seriously, bitch? I want to kick you in the fucking twat. You know… people that don’t know about this have been texting me, and I’ve been saying “thank you” appropriately. If you know what happened, why would assume today’s happy for me? It’s just a birthday… My mom called me up and said, “I know today’s supposed to be happy, but I understand it’s not. I didn’t tell grandma, so just please be pleasant when she calls. She doesn’t need to know this. I wish you the best today.” That’s an appropriate comment today, from somebody who knows what happened…
smh… sorry… I need to vent today, and I’m not the type that does that shit on Facebook, where everybody that knows me IRL can see my shit all out… Most of ya’ll are anonymous… So I feel more comfortable with that… I wont see you walking down the hall, bothering me with your hugs and petty chit chat…
That was a dick move. I would apologize if that was me.
Too soon for that shit.
That’s because you’re not the hardest muthafucka on SRK. Like we talked about. (You were upset.)
Neither does pretending like it didn’t happen.
While the birthday comment was a nice gesture, she shouldn’t have used it as a tool to minimize your situation. I’d probably react similar if I was in your shoes.
Regardless though, you have my condolences. I can’t imagine losing my best friend.
Sad that someone’s mom needs to call and tell them to be nice to their grandmother because they can’t act like a fucking adult.
Friend is dead, nothing will bring him back, but don’t go off trying to ruin shit with people that actually care about you. I guarantee your sister cares more about you than any of us ever will. I couldn’t give two shits if your friend died to be honest, didn’t know him. But your sister cares, so be a man and talk to her like an adult about it. It will make you feel better Nancy.
Ps: Happy birthday
It is a fact that today is your birthday.
Your happiness coinciding with this particular calendar day is completely your prerogative.
My mom didn’t need to call me to tell me that. I’d know that. She just treats me sometimes like I’m 8 and not 28.
This is it.
And my sister cares about me when she’s having problems with whatever dude she’s fucking at the time, which is the case right now. I didn’t hear a word from her from about 2001 through 2007, because her life was peachy… It hasn’t been for the last few years since her daughter was born and her baby’s daddy bailed out, so she’s been excessively nice… Except those random 2-6 month intervals when she hooks up with a new guy, and then she forgets everyone else exists.
My relationship with my family is literally my mother, grandmother, and niece. The rest of my family can take a flight of stairs and I wouldn’t give two shits over a fuck.
This person that died meant more to me than my sister could ever hope to mean to me, and that’s the utter truth. Just because these people are my relatives don’t make them my family.
Redheads go blonde instead of grey as they age. I’m looking forward to ascending to super saiyan.
Well she is still your sister doofus. The only thing she is guilty of is ignoring you, which from seeing how you act is perfectly reasonable. She probably feels guilty at the fact that she doesn’t know what to say to console you since she doesn’t really know you even though you are her brother. Mom treating you like that sounds like you have a history of being difficult lol.
You need some cake on them tits or a melted candle.
Nah. She’s just got a history of being a helicopter parent.
For some reason, I can’t get the term “Carpet Gremlin” out of my head.
I don’t even think it means anything. It’s just stuck in there for some fucking reason. I think I’m starting to trip balls from lack of sleep.
It’s when you pull a chick’s panties off and she’s got creatures crawling in there…
I haven’t had this experience IRL.
Happy Birthday Man.
My sincere condolences .
I pray that no man has that experience. :eek:
Welp whatever dude, you just try and enjoy your birthday. I am sure your friend wouldn’t want to see you moping around all day whining on the internet. Go bang some chick and bust on her face while screaming out his name like Joseph does in when he does his super in Jojo’s bizarre adventure.
Man I want to make my own yogurt commercial now.
[details=Spoiler]A petite woman sits in a dark room next to a pair of detectives and some officers.
“It’s okay, they can’t see you.” One of the cops tell her.
The screen shifts to a line up filled with criminals making lewd gestures and finally rest on the last one who is in fact a tube of yogurt.
Her eyes go wide in shock as we see a brief flashback of her getting bukkaked by various flavors of the yogurt while in a state of burning arousal, tearing at her clothes with a crazed look and a tongue halfway hanging out of her mouth like a beast.
She starts to cry uncontrollably, folding up into a fetal position.
That’s when one of the detectives bends over and whispers in her ear. “It’s okay miss, it’s fat free”
[/details]