Ghetto bot trucking: You want it? WE’LL BRING IT!!..FOR SKYNET.
-Starhammer-
Just checked that SFV shit. I have a WAY better win rate against Nash than I thought I’d have, although most Nashes don’t know what to do against Zangief when he gets in.
Good morning guys. Im working on being nicer. Here is a gift. Lets be friends.
Lol, can’t be worse than Bob Jones University’s handbook:
http://www.joshuakennon.com/bob-jones-university-student-handbook/
[details=Spoiler][list]*
[] First-year students need to be accompanied by another student who is 21 or older and of the same gender if going off campus after 8 p.m. for any purpose other than work. They can’t be trusted to go out into the world by themselves. [page 20]
[] Male and female students cannot be alone in a classroom, rehearsal studio or other room. [page 22]
[] Male students must obtain the dean’s approval to date a female day student or non-student. [page 25]
[] The school reserves the right from forbidding any student from getting a job and working in the community. [page 26]
[] Students cannot attend sporting events or paid events (presumably concerts or plays) on Sunday. [page 27]
[] Students may not eat in a restaurant that has a tavern or bar-like reputation, atmosphere, or that does not section off the dining room from a live entertainment area. [page 27]
[] Any music which, in whole or in part, derives from the following broadly defined genres or their sub-genres: Rock, Pop, Country, Jazz, Electronic/ Techno, Rap/Hip Hop or the fusion of any of these genres is banned even if it is Christian. [page 29]
[] Students may only view “G” rated movies in private. [page 29]
[] Students may not play video games rated above E10 (games meant for 10 year olds and older) or a game that contains graphic blood, gore, sensual or demonic themes, violent first-person shooting, suggestive dress, bad language, or rock music. [page 30]
[] The Internet on campus is filtered and censored, but if a site gets past the filter that is not approved by the authorities, you are to immediately report it. [page 30]
[] Campus Internet activity is monitored and tracked. [page 30]
[] You may not visit celebrity home pages on the Internet, or any site that contains secular music lyrics, or any joke/humor site. [page 30]
[] Students with smart phones or tablets are not to use unfiltered Internet. [page 30]
[] Students are forbidden to read magazines such as GQ, Men’s Fitness, ESPN, Esquire, or People, either in print or electronically.
[] Gambling – which is defined as “risking the material provisions of God on chance – is prohibited. [page 31] I’m guessing that means they’ll never offer an actuarial undergraduate degree for budding insurance executives, which is just as well given that it requires math.
[] Women must wear a neckline that is no lower than four fingers’ width below the collarbone. [page 32]
[] You need to dress professionally and academically, which includes women wearing “Denim jackets” [page 33]. I’m trying not to laugh but I almost have tears streaming down my face. This is not 1980, nor is it a Bon Jovi music video.
[] You need to dress appropriately after hours, too, which includes “Denim skirts or dresses”. [page 33]
[] Tattoos are forbidden. [page 34]
[] Only two matching ear piercings are acceptable. [page 34]
[] Men are forbidden from wearing Abercrombie & Fitch clothing, including that manufactured for subsidiary Hollister, even if it otherwise complies. [page 35]
[] Men working out are only allowed to wear sleeveless athletic shirts if they are exercising inside. [page 36]
[] Hair color must be absolutely natural with no modification. [page 37]
[] Hair length must be between off the collar and ears. [page 37]
[] Fauxhawks are forbidden. [page 37]
[] Sideburns cannot be lower than the opening of the ear. [page 37]
[] Students must shave their faces every morning if they are under 25 years old. [page 37]
[] Students must close the blinds to their dorms when night falls. [page 38]
[] Residence hall rooms are checked at 11 a.m., Monday through Friday. [page 38]
[] Residence hall students must turn off the lights and be in bed by midnight. [page 39]
[] Residence hall students must stay inside of their room between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. [page 39]
[] Day students taking 12 credit hours or more must attend chapel daily.
[] A demerit system is used that includes docking points for “sacrilegious behavior” and “misuse of media”. [page 45]
[] Student emails can be scanned and reviewed for objectionable content. [page 46]
[] Student computers, mp3 players, cellphones, et cetera are subject to inspection. [page 47]
[] The school can speak to the student’s parents at any time about anything involving the student. [page 47]
[] Students may not join outside gyms for their fitness needs. [page 54]
[] Students who get married at 20 years old or younger are not permitted to continue their education. [page 56]
[] Students should watch out for “Scatological realism – pertaining to excretory functions” in media. [page 64]
[] Students should judge media as appropriate by asking, “Does the story’s resolution reward good and punish evil or honor wisdom and scorn foolishness?” [page 65] I’m not sure how one would teach a history course if that’s the standard as a lot of bad people did just fine.*
[/list][/details]
Damn i fell into the 4th page trap. Need to connect myself to SRK like the matrix.
Bro wtf…
Copied the invite. Where the fuck do I paste it in the app?
His mom better get eaten by wolves.
So porn sites are pulling the plug on North Carolinian access because my state is a bunch of bigots. And you guys wonder why I’m still in the closet to most people.
Maybe it’s a good thing though…
Christian Author Mack Major Says Female Masturbation Is ‘Direct Path To Satan’
Spoiler
A Christian author is warning women that “masturbation is a direct path to Satan.”
Mack Major of Eden Decoded wrote on Facebook that “too many Christian women are losing their salvation because they masturbate.”
“Dildos and all of those other sex toys have been used for thousands of years in demonic sex rituals,” he wrote. “It’s one of the main ways ancient pagan societies worshiped their demonic gods.”
Major added: “There is nothing normal about it. And shame on any Christian that says so.”
The Facebook post linked to a blog entry on the topic on the Eden Decoded website which warned that Satan used sex to “empower demonic entities.”
He wrote:
“Many of you who are reading this have sex toys in your possession right now. And whether you want to accept it as fact or not: those sex toys are an open portal between the demonic realm and your own life. As long as you have those sex toys in your home, you have a doorway that can allow demons to not only access your life at will, but also to torment you, hinder and destroy certain parts of your life as it relates to sex and your relationships.”
The post was an excerpt from Major’s book, “Diva, Goddess, Queen: Breaking The Power Of Soul Ties, Lust And Sexual Demons.”
Sex in general, and masturbation in particular, were popular topics on the Eden Decoded website. Another post, an excerpt from a book called “Hedonism: Destroying Demonic Sexual Strongholds,” warned:
“There are such things as sex demons. And the danger in masturbating is that one could inadvertently summon a sex demon to attach itself to you through the act of masturbating. And once that demon attaches, it is difficult to get it to leave. It will drive you to masturbate, even when you don’t want to. You’ll be hit with urges to play with yourself so powerful that only an orgasm will allow you some temporary relief.”
Major also wrote that a sex demon may attract “other unclean spirits,” which would “also attach to your life.”
There is no scientific evidence of “demons” attaching themselves to people who masturbate. On the contrary, medical experts believe masturbation is healthy, if not important, for both men and woman.
Dr. Lauren Streicher, an associate professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University and author of “Sex Rx: Hormones Health And Your Best Sex Ever,” spoke to HuffPost last year on the benefits of masturbation for women, which included pain relief, better sleep and stress relief.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/mack-major-masturbation-satan_us_570c47cae4b01422324a02ee
I seriously can’t read crap like this without laughing out loud. Demonic sex rituals…orgasms opening people up to demonic possession…LOL
It will drive you to masturbate because orgasms are supposed to feel good. It’s mother nature’s way of going “Hey, you need to keep doing that”.
When my vibrator starts spinning around on its own yelling “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell!” I’ll be concerned. Until then I’ll keep inviting in those sexy demons.
[quote=“Xvideos, post:96, topic:179312”]
A private elementary school teacher was forced to resign after the video of her prize-winning lapdance went viral
[/quote]First of all: DAT ASS
Second: Was the announcer guy wearing a skirt? :wtf: Dude.
Third: DAT ASS
Fourth: Really lady? You thought you could go stuff your ass in people’s faces and the school system would let it slide? This isn’t some trivial matter like fucking your students, or spousal abuse. Those could’ve been overlooked. **HOT CHICKS SHAKING THEIR ASS IS A SERIOUS FUCKING CRIME, AND THE SCHOOL BOARD WON’T STAND FOR IT!!! **
By the great powers granted to the unattractive women who did proceed over this case, The hammer did fall upon her. They got her fired for nothing Justice was swift, and now the unruly wench has been dealt with properly. So endeth the sermon, so endeth the lesson, and so endeth this story.
-Starhammer-
@TheMartian and friend go dumpster diving at Gamestop. They end up finding a few games, successfully sell them back to GS, then get the cops called on them. 
“ARE YOU GUYS TAKING RESERVATIONS FOR THE NEW DREAMCAST COMING OUT???”
I’ll raise you one. There’s a street over here called Coontrap road. The punchline? nothing but black people live on that street as far as I can tell.
-Starhammer-
On the left there is a + with the channel names. You might have to swipe to bring up the channel options
SEVEN DOLLARS
I AM WEAK
We got a city named Whitelaw.
when evil inanimate objects are doing more good for you than the church…
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v733/stormhammer/Charlton%20Heston%20Laugh_zpseqhtrpn1.gif
-Starhammer-
This actually reminds me of something just awesomely stupid. Anybody here ever encounter Chick tracts in the wild?
If you don’t know what I’m talking about, in the 70’s and 80’s there was some sort of wackadoo christian cartoonist named Jack Chick who produced propaganda comics for his particular brand of crazy, and encouraged his followers to leave them all over the place for people to find.
Spoiler
Anti Dungeons & Dragons Chick tract:
Spoiler
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_02.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_03.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_04.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_05.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_06.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_07.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_08.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_09.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_10.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_11.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_12.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_13.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_14.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_15.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_16.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_17.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_18.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_19.gif
http://media.chick.com/tractimages67491/0046/0046_20.gif
The D&D tract is one of the greatest cartoons I’ve ever seen.
Your mom is Large Marge?