SRK Lounge: Ronin was here

[ThePurpleBunny]

but would you do it at me?

Yes.

But I won’t look at you.

[Rabbit2k7]

The uniquely male struggle of trying to look cool all the time, while being an idiot, was in full effect for me this morning.

I had stopped at the gas station this morning to get a coffee (it has a Caribou attached to it) and some of those fine ass breakfast taquitos. This morning, however, there was some giant woman standing in front of the taquitos. Something about her cascading fat rolls made me keep my distance. I decided to get a slice of breakfast pizza instead. Sausage, eggs, bell peppers, with white gravy in place of the sauce. The pizza is just on a slip of cardboard. I pay and head outside, and it has started raining. I try my hardest to cover my pizza with my free hand, which is holding keys and a coffee. Since this is doing nothing to keep my pizza dry, I cross my arm in front of me and create a nice little cove to hide my pizza in. Then I drop my keys, and almost drop my coffee. Crouched down in the rain, trying to pick my keys up with my pinky finger on my coffee hand, and getting my pizza all wet. It was not a good look.

At that moment one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen (in this town) walks out of the Caribou and looks me dead in the eyes. Here I am, at my most vulnerable, clinging to rained on pizza, and this is how she sees me. I felt like saying something. Like hey don’t worry, I don’t normally do this! I would have gotten taquitos and they would have been dry! I WOULDN’T HAVE DROPPED MY KEYS IN THE RAIN BECAUSE TAQUITOS ARE EASIER TO HOLD! But it was too late. She had already turned around and started to walk away.

What if it had been different? What if I wasn’t a moron? What if I had dry pizza? Would she have stayed?

[Raz0r]

No.

[Exodus_1]

No.

This.

If you had taquitos you wouldn’t have had to shield your pizza from the elements. If you didn’t have to shield your pizza from the elements you wouldn’t have been awkwardly holding your keys. If you wouldn’t have been awkwardly holding your keys you wouldn’t have dropped them. If you hadn’t dropped your keys you would have been back in your car before one of the hottest girls you’ve ever seen (in your town) walked out of the store.

So… the real question is why were you looking at the whale in front of the taquitos when that hot girl was in the same store as you?

[BullDancer]

Honestly, the average human being does not care about a stranger.

[odin]

Honestly, the average human being does not care about a stranger.

It’s basically “I got enough problems in my life to deal with.”

[Rabbit2k7]

No.

This.

If you had taquitos you wouldn’t have had to shield your pizza from the elements. If you didn’t have to shield your pizza from the elements you wouldn’t have been awkwardly holding your keys. If you wouldn’t have been awkwardly holding your keys you wouldn’t have dropped them. If you hadn’t dropped your keys you would have been back in your car before one of the hottest girls you’ve ever seen (in your town) walked out of the store.

So… the real question is why were you looking at the whale in front of the taquitos when that hot girl was in the same store as you?

She was in Caribou. I was in the gas station. And trust me, it was hard to miss the behemoth in front of me. It may have been impossible to not see her given her size.

[Buster_Cannon]

OH SHOOT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGlulcqvmOM

IIRC Astro Boy’s pretty strong so Rock might get styled on, unless he has a special weapon strong enough to do the job (i.e. Black Hole Bomb).

[pedoviejo]

What kind of weak pussy nigga do you have to be to try and save a married woman from her broken relationship only to get jumped by the dude and his homies and then have the nerve(or lack of) to cry?

dead/

Sounds similar to somebody I know. Only difference is this nigga ran, because they where going to shoot him.

Smh, I told him never fuck with married oussy.

[Dangerous_J]

Now that the weather has cooled down, it’s time to bust out the Keurig K45 like a boss.

Pumpkin Spice coffee for the win!

My white boy stats are … puts on shades… over 9000!!!

[Pertho]

@Raz0r, Was Newsroom any good? Need a new drama.

Been watching Revolution but that show has so much god damn nonsensical shit happening it, I need something more adult.

[Rabbit2k7]

@regulate
how the tf you gonna disagree with my pain? what’d i ever do to you??

[pedoviejo]

lots of 10-12 hour days will be upon us and 6 days of work a week coming up with POSSIBLE options to do 7th day. Of course we already lack leads and no they won’t give me the lead training as my focus is just to be a trainer out there to support the leads. Let’s see if they can get by as is with our already short staff. Regardless I’ll be dead after the holidays…

There must be a silver lining in all this. Is the pay at least Cali good? Is there significant overtime pay?

Lol at cali pay, lol at overtime pay in cali to. You sometimes make less than regular pay. Fucking California asshole taxes.

[BB_Hoody]

You’re all going to call me racist for this but whatever. Black people are the most entitled riders of public transportation.

On the train this morning I was sitting at the end of the L-shaped seats in the older subway cars. This fucking old black dude sat down and manspread right on me. We sit perpendicular to one another for two stops until he pushes my knee out and says “move your knee.” I couldn’t believe it and as you could have guessed, I was fucking seething inside. This was an old guy. He was twice my size but I was gonna bash him something good. I shoved my knee back in, looked him in the eye, and said, “Hey, buddy. Fuck you. I was already sitting here when your ass decided to sit down. Don’t like it, move to another seat.” I sat burning a hole in the side of his head with how intense I was staring until he moved a few stops later. I’ll be honest, I thought we were gonna throw down and so did other passengers. I wanted to stomp him so bad.

Then on the bus to my office, this hood ratchet as fuck broad near the back just keeps yelling at the driver, “Hurry up!” “Why you so slow!” “Gawd, hurry the fuck up!” Some older black lady chimes in saying “if you in a rush why didn’t you leave earlier?” As you could probably guess about now, this made hood ratchet as fuck broad explode. She had to be booted off the bus. That the bus driver didn’t have to call the police to handle her ass like they did that girl at school recently was a shock to my system.

This doesn’t include the rants on black people running IN FRONT OF THE BUS to stop it. I mean, that’s just fucking insane. I’ll gladly wait for another bus instead of being steamrolled by 2-ton vehicle. God, I should just bite the bullet and get a car.

Headphones. Get 'em. Why do you torment yourself in such a manner? The spreader was going to have to be handled in a different manner, but you can usually beat loud with loud. I would personally never get on public transportation without headphones of some sort.

-Starhammer-

She was screaming over the podcast I was listening to. I had it on max volume and she still drowned it out. That’s how loud she was screaming. From the back of a double-long bus…

Honestly, the average human being does not care about a stranger.

Depends.

As screwed up as the South’s past is, they really care about helping random ppl and manners.

You’re assed out up north though

Yeah the south is weird, From the 4 years I’ve been down here in Georgia. From living in a more rural area like Conyers, and now living in the city. I can say from my experience the south offers the best and worst parts of American culture

[regulate]

@regulate
how the tf you gonna disagree with my pain? what’d i ever do to you??

I disagree not with your pain but with your choice of pizza over taquitos. in addition the type of pizza too. I just cant condone that lifestyle bruv.

[Kromo]

What about “Sir” or “Lord” ?
You never see black people with those in their name.

*I had a friend whose first name was “Sir” when I was a preteen. He was black. *

Kromo confirmed weaboo white girl with too much time on their hands

Finally.
Thank you!

I hope we can now put all those ugly lawsuits behind us.

[dab00g]

I think I will go to Disneyland before the end of the year, while wearing a shirt that says “Infernoman sucks pee pee”.

Great. You can be in your natural habitat with all the other fatass guests roaming around in ECVs choking down turkey legs made of pork and assorted meats. Nigga you can’t even get through the turnstiles without needing butter to slip through (assuming you didn’t eat said butter beforehand). I welcome your upcoming visit ol’ snorlax size ass nigga.

Why are there so many fat people at the house of mouse?

Anyways that paradir pier buffet was good. But not as good as the big thunder ranch

Like if you go to disneyland and have all those pins and presumably walk all the time. How are you so fat?

Or those mexican ladies with chicken legs and the fattest torso out there. Makes no sense.

There are hotties at disneyland though. But barely legal ass is still barely legal

[Raz0r]

@Raz0r, Was Newsroom any good? Need a new drama.

Been watching Revolution but that show has so much god damn nonsensical shit happening it, I need something more adult.

I liked Newsroom a lot. Some of it is very on point with out a newsroom actually works, but Sorkin’s morality pushing is fucking tiring. He does this for every show he’s head writer of. Sad it only lasted two seasons, but if I were you I’d check it out.

[Rabbit2k7]

@regulate
how the tf you gonna disagree with my pain? what’d i ever do to you??

I disagree not with your pain but with your choice of pizza over taquitos. in addition the type of pizza too. I just cant condone that lifestyle bruv.

my life is a series of mistakes

[thurst]

The uniquely male struggle of trying to look cool all the time, while being an idiot, was in full effect for me this morning.

I had stopped at the gas station this morning to get a coffee (it has a Caribou attached to it) and some of those fine ass breakfast taquitos. This morning, however, there was some giant woman standing in front of the taquitos. Something about her cascading fat rolls made me keep my distance. I decided to get a slice of breakfast pizza instead. Sausage, eggs, bell peppers, with white gravy in place of the sauce. The pizza is just on a slip of cardboard. I pay and head outside, and it has started raining. I try my hardest to cover my pizza with my free hand, which is holding keys and a coffee. Since this is doing nothing to keep my pizza dry, I cross my arm in front of me and create a nice little cove to hide my pizza in. Then I drop my keys, and almost drop my coffee. Crouched down in the rain, trying to pick my keys up with my pinky finger on my coffee hand, and getting my pizza all wet. It was not a good look.

At that moment one of the hottest girls I’ve ever seen (in this town) walks out of the Caribou and looks me dead in the eyes. Here I am, at my most vulnerable, clinging to rained on pizza, and this is how she sees me. I felt like saying something. Like hey don’t worry, I don’t normally do this! I would have gotten taquitos and they would have been dry! I WOULDN’T HAVE DROPPED MY KEYS IN THE RAIN BECAUSE TAQUITOS ARE EASIER TO HOLD! But it was too late. She had already turned around and started to walk away.

What if it had been different? What if I wasn’t a moron? What if I had dry pizza? Would she have stayed?

This is a sign that you’re fat, frail, no balance-having ass shouldn’t be eating fucking taquitos and pizza for breakfast. No respectable broad is giving a nigga with a coffee and taquitos any kind of rhythm, much less in the A.M.