I’ll spoiler this so a giant wall of text doesn’t smash into ya:
[details=Spoiler]I had a tough upbringing myself, which I’ve mentioned on here before. My parents are pretty old school. Mom’s an old school catholic, Dad was catholic as well, but raised by old school european men (his father left his mother after she had like 9 kids, and it was just him and his brothers growing up). So my mom is somewhat creepy religious (a LOT of arguments/discussions ended up involving religion), and my dad basically still thinks it’s ok to basically lounge around on your ass all day watching TV (seriously, he will watch virtually anything, he loves watching horse racing all fucking day), and expect man things (other people aka wife to do your laundry, cook and clean for you, if you yell at things, shit gets done), oh and I would get in HELL if I ever discussed girls…no sex, no kissing, no girls allowed to come by my place. By the time I got to high school, it was almost daily abuse. Add to that the fact that when I was in elementary school, they got upset with my brother and just FLAT OUT put him up for adoption…try living life as a kid/teen with that threat perpetually hanging over you…
I got into heavy metal music in grade 8, and my high school was all rappers and clubbers and dude bro’s, and my parents wanted me to be more like them. The ultimate irony was here I was going to school every day, didn’t smoke, didn’t touch drugs, worked out every day, played several sports and went to track and field championships, did all my homework, was tops in most of my classes, was taking physics and computer classes, chemistry and advanced math classes, and my parents would freak out on me because I listened to Slayer and Cannibal Corpse, and demanded I be more like the fucking drug addict nothing’s that filled my schools hallways. Eventually abuse got bad enough, as I’ve mentioned on here before, that I had to move out on my own when I was 17, and it wasn’t for like 8 years that I even said a word to a single member of my family. We slowly talked again for a few years, but shit always kept coming back to haunt me. I’d be reminded of shit I did in the past (or even worse, didn’t do but that they still wanted to accuse me of). I’d be accused of shit I had nothing to do with. I’d have ugly ultimatums given to me (i complained about how we never hung out to do shit that wasn’t necessary shit anymore, so they start inviting me over to do house work, like plant their garden, or clean/open the pool, or build a got damn fucking fence…then they complained when I stopped coming over after work, just because there was more work to do when I got home). Eventually it got to the point where my parents are yelling at me for spending money on anything. I’m somewhat terrible with money to this day, as my parents would literally take any money I earned, for years, so I feel I am forced to spend it before they can get to it. But I was getting in shit for doing things like buying new clothes if mine were falling apart…oh no, I should have been buying cheaper clothes, or buying used clothes. PC broke, and I know how to fix it, so I go out and buy a new Mobo and processor and ram, and voila pc works again…but my dad ended up losing his shit on me and telling me I should have just bought a cheap tablet instead…i explained that if his brakes on his car die, he doesn’t throw away the car and get a bike, he fixes the one broken part and gets it working again. I got rewarded with a backhand for that logic. I’d order a pizza after a day of work, i don’t wanna cook, my parents would freak on me for spending money. For fuck’s sakes, I paid off part of my student loan, and I got yelled at for THAT. Last year, about this time, they started just literally haunting me. They would read EVERYTHING that I would post on facebook and check the times (If I worked the next day at 5:30am, and posted something the night before at, lets say, 10pm, I would get harrassed to no end), if I said ANYTHING negative (like ugh, the bus was late today and I almost was late for work) I would get screamed at for bringing up negativity, once I casually mentioned how I’d never been to New York Ciy and I’d like to go someday, and I got a two hour lecture on wasting money and how I have to many needs and wants.
Like you, shit stopped getting physical with me, around puberty, when I came home one day, my dad tried to hit me, and I lost my mind and beat him bad enough to need a trip to the hospital. It got a lot more mental after that, and every time it came close to being physical (many times since that first beating I laid into him), he’d usually back down, knowing he was facing an asswhupping. But last year it got physical again, and ended with him thinking it was ok to walk behind me as I walked away from my family for like the 2nd major time in my life, singing songs about how him and my mother wouldn’t give the slightest of fucks that I was gone. So I beat him senseless again in the middle of the street surrounded by his neighbors, told my mother I would see her again at a random funeral, and warned my family to not buy a tombstone for my dad because I would just rip it out of the ground with a truck and some chains, and dump it into Lake Ontario.
My dad literally works like 10 seconds from where I work, but in the last year, I’ve seen him maybe twice, and he’d just keep his head down and keep walking, and like 5000 people I work with know not to mention our names near the other.
Familes are fucked. I’ve recently got into touch with my brother after his adoption (he lived in Saskatchewan for awhile, then moved up north, so I really have no way to see him for awhile, and haven’t seen him since I was in grade 4). All the time, I feel somewhat lonely, with no family to really call and talk to regularly. There have been times i wanted to cave and just apologize for nothing, and go back…but then I remember what that will lead to, and I back off. Sometimes families just aren’t meant to be. You take two asshole idiots, put them together, and they have kids, man, it’s just not meant to be. Sometimes to honour your parents properly, you gotta stay the fuck out of each other’s lives.
this wasn’t meant to really comfort you, just point out that you ain’t alone, and I’m here if you ever wanna talk, or need some advice. I can’t promise you miracles (Except in the bedroom), but I am a damn good listener, and I’ve been through enough shit in my life to have a food good tidbits of advice
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I know a lot of them have already been seen, but I’m throwing it up for the ones that haven’t. If only Frieza knew about killing off earth barbers, maybe he would’ve lived longer.
Man, Matriarch ain’t been here in forever. You might as well move on, mIRC. Get you a nice robot girl. I got a couple of used models that ain’t so cummy. I mean crummy. Haha you know we wash all our trade-ins thoroughly.
I had a bit of time before I had to pick up my daughter from school, and right across the street was a little bookstore. Decided to go in and browse and ended up buying a couple of things.