Again…if I can somehow muster the time…prologue will be here!
Lantis sits quietly on a bench looking over the ocean, with the Metro City skyline in the background. He calmly sips on a soda as the sun slowly sets down in the horizon, coloring the sky in a orange hue. K.A.Y. floats around, inspecting the area. A middle-aged woman walks in front of them on the sidewalk, and not before long, she is approached by some disgruntled punk, who bumps into her from behind, and manages to snatch her purse away from her. As the woman shouts and curses the petty criminal as he runs away, K.A.Y. shakes about.
?Sir Lantis! This place is a criminal haven! I believe the crime rate here easily surpasses that of Detroit?New York City?and any other major city in the US! Are the authorities virtually non-existant here?!?
?Are you kidding me?! The mayor is former pro wrestler. And I?m not talking about Jesse ?The Body? Ventura, either, but Mike fuckin? Haggar! Did you know that guy can piledrive a shark? Well, he can! And he?s so awesome for ir!?
K.A.Y. flutters down in dismay, ?That is no guarantee for the safety of society! Violence just brings about more violence! That is a fact seen throughout history!?
?So you may say?. But there is one important factor you are overlooking?. Check this out!!?
Lantis reaches his leg out and kicks a trash can located next to the bench. The bin stumbles over, and amidst all the garbage it dumps onto the concrete, a diamond rolls along on the ground. K.A.Y. is certainly shocked, ?What? That makes no sense! Precious stones in the trash?! Who would actually throw away such a valuable asset??
?Beats me, but it?s real cool! I don?t get these criminal guys, pursuing vain material needs, when they can just find it in the trash. Awesome! So?who do we have in line today??
Not before long, a very bulky man appears, dressed only in boxing shorts and wearing some fighting gloves. His mean mug beneath his blond buzzcut denounces his mean demeanor. Rubbing his chest with a sword tattoo on it, the man spits out on the side. BROCK LESNAR!
Lantis stands up and waves, ?Hey, Brock! Long time no see! You know, I was a real fan during your WWE stint. Your matches with Kurt Angle were the SHIT, yo! When can we expect you back in the E, huh??
Lesnar sneers in intimidating fashion, ?How ?bout you shut the fuck up?! I?m done with that shit?. UFC is my thing now. If you haven?t noticed how I?ve been knocking fools the fuck out, I would be glad to give you a personal demonstration!?
K.A.Y. flies between Lesnar and Lantis, ?We realize that your new company would NOT appreciate your disposition towards violence in such an important tournament! We urge you to focus on the opponent at hand, and save your savage brutality for another occasion!?
Lesnar gives a cocky smile, ?You may be right there, ya little wind-up toy. (points at Lantis) I got your number next time, punk! Stay on your toes, ya hear??
Lesnar smacks his fists together as he does some shadow punches on the way out. Lantis? face sports an unpleasant smirk, ?Man, he?s intimidating as fuck?. But that 8-year old voice just has to go! Who is he up against??
A man throws aside a brown leather jacket, and he is seen wearing a blue-and-yellow uniform. A red visor covers his eyes, as it gleams red. CYCLOPS!
The X-Men field leader gives a two-finger salute at Lantis, ?Greetings, kind citizen! On behalf of the X-Men, I would like to thank you for your kind support. We expect to build a strong foundation in the struggle to sustain the peace between humans and mutants based on our performance in this tournament!?
K.A.Y. slowly tilts forward, ?We appreciate your kindness, Mr. Summers! Your courage and noble ideals will certainly be welcomed in this competition!?
Lantis wanders about, ?Hey, that?s quite the motivational talk! That kind of speech can only come from a dedicated family man! How?s the wife doing, anyways??
Cyclops? beaming smile quickly turns into a sad grimace, ?Jean?is?not with me right now. I miss her so dearly every day?.?
?Oh?sorry ?bout that. But hey, you?re banging a nice piece of ass on the side, are you not? That Emma Frost chick cannot chill MY willy, dude!?
Cyclops jams his finger in Lantis? chest, ?I?m telling you to CUT IT OUT!! I may have to forget my manners if you keep pushing me, buster?.?
?Whatever happened to peace between mutants and humans???
?Yeah, we?re still working on that?.?
Cyclops walks away, as Lantis lets out a deep breath, ?Man, I thought he was gonna throw me to a corner and start an infinite on my ass. Who?s up???
A cloud of sand blows into the bay, and they all gather up to form a man who just so happens to be a rotten corpse, but retaining the mobility of a regular man. The disgusting figure walks up to Lantis, and his rotten mouth crooks into a smile. THE MUMMY!
The deceased wizard starts speaking in ancient Arab tongues, as Lantis raises an eyebrow, ?Didn?t know we had Taliban zombies in this? Who is this peculiar fellow anyway??
K.A.Y.?s sensors start blinking, ?This is Imhotep, ancient sorcerer for the pharaohs. Apparently, he was cheating on one of the pharoah?s wife, and he got mummified as punishment. So?he is now awake, and now wants to absorb your flesh.?
Lantis shakes his head, ?You can tell Mr. Pizza Face here that I may suggest against it?I have this nasty pimple in one of my buttcheeks that he does NOT want to absorb.?
?You do???
?Just roll with it, girl!?
K.A.Y. communicates in Imhotep?s language, who just chuckles, and dissipates into sand as it flies about. Lantis waves his hand in front of his nose, ?Geez?he even smells nasty, too. Must be those 2000 years without taking a shower. And his opponent is???
A bearded man runs. He is wearing a blue suit of armor, along with a flowing cape. He holds a small shield in one hand, and a mace in the other. He looks about as he holds his mace tightly. CLERIC!
K.A.Y. analyzes the newcomer, ?This is a Cleric. He is said to excel in the holy arts, responds to a ?higher power?, and on top of that, he is also quite good in the ways of combat!?
Lantis nods, ?So?a priest that kicks ass FOR THE LORD?? I?m sold on that premise for real, yo!?
The Cleric leans towards Lantis, ?Say?what is with these peasants around here? I tried to deliver the gospel to these infidels, but they kept trying to steal my mace! Such atrocity!?
Lantis scratches his head, ?Yeah, don?t bring shiny things in this town. That will make you an easy target for these bums.?
K.A.Y. bleeps, ?Sir Cleric, it seems that your opponent hails from the realm of the undead. He is on a mission for vengeance, so I suggest extreme caution!?
The Cleric grinds his teeth as he raises his mace, ?WHAT?!?!! The dead walk this mortal plain??! I shall not allow this blasphemy to happen!! I will hunt down this fiend, and make sure his soul rests pleasantly in the afterlife! CROSS THE SHADOW!?
The Cleric runs off in a hurry, decking a thug along the way. Lantis points him out, ?I like his style! Also digging the manly beard?. Next??
No sign of life comes from any direction, as Lantis asks again, ?Who?s next, K.A.Y.? Is there something I?m not getting??
K.A.Y. leans away from Lantis, as it suddenly bops around in excitement, ?Here it comes, sir Lantis, here it comes! Just in time, too!?
?Huh?! Where??!??
A shiny object is seen bouncing along the floor in precise intervals. As it passes before Lantis, he notices that it is a star with eyes jumping about. STARMAN!
Lantis also notices a small group of thugs chasing after it like a pack of wolves after some fresh meat. They all keep screaming about ?gold? and ?being rich? and ?shiny? in no particular order. Lantis shakes his head, ?I think we oughta get a more exact filter for this crap. Who is gonna possibly face THAT thing??
A light is seen shimmering in the afternoon sky, and soon enough, the star can be seen shooting towards the ground like a lightning bolt. It makes an impact several feet away from Lantis, creating a small explosion, and lifting up a mild cloud of smoke. As it clears off, a beautiful sword is seen shining in the crater. SOUL CALIBUR!
Lantis rubs his eyes, ?Wow, that?s a pretty 1337 sword! What is it anyway??
K.A.Y. floats around the sword, and gives it a close inspection, ?I believe it is the Soul Calibur, the sword of legend. It is said that those who can claim it will receive whatever their heart so desires.?
?Hmmm?tempting! Say, wouldn?t it mind if I?.?
But as soon as Lantis reaches for the sword, a criminal brandishing a knife leaps in front of him, cackling like a madman, ?YAH HAH HAH HAH HAH! Not so fast, lanky boy! I saw this beauty FIRST! So go take a hike, fucker!?
Lantis backs out in disgust, ?Fuck it! Should?ve known something like this would happen?. Fine, you can take it as your personal vibrator, jackass!?
The crazed punk slowly backs up towards the sword, looking anxious, before finally reaching out for it without turning around, ?Heh heh?even feels good, too! Ohhhh, my precious little???.wha?!?
But as soon as the punk grabs its? handle, an ominous light emits from the sword, and soon enough, a blinding flash covers the scene. When Lantis finally regains his sight after the shock, he sees nothing but the sword and no trace of the thug?except for a small pile of ash a couple of inches away.
?DAMN! That thing isn?t fucking around eh? What?s the big deal anyway?!?
All of a sudden, a thundering voice echoes from the sword, ?Hey, you!?
Lantis shakes in his shoes, ?W-w-who?.m-me?!?
?Yes, you! Have you seen a bouncing star jump around here? I heard he was my opponent?. It?s quite the exceptional case, but it is my duty to vanquish such a being as part of my task.?
K.A.Y. bops up and down, ?Yes, it just passed by here a few minutes ago. How do you plan on fighting it anyway??
The Soul Calibur glows with its? shining light, ?I need not explain myself to a heap of junk like you. YOU! The tall, skinny one. Throw me in the direction of that star!?
Lantis points at himself, ?M?m?Me??! W-why?! Aren?t you gonna vaporize me like you did to that poor sap just now?!?
?I am only to be wielded by the strongest of warriors, not by some common thug who just so happened to stumble upon me on the streets. I will give you a free pass for now?. Just throw me in its? direction, and I?ll do the rest.?
Lantis nods, as he grabs Soul Calibur by the handle, and Lantis suddenly feels a surge of power go up his arm. With a swift motion, Lantis hoists the Soul Calibur up high, and then throws it down the road, almost as if the sword was as light as a feather. K.A.Y. trembles in awe, ?Wow, sir Lantis! When did you amass such great strength??
?I?dunno? That sword is pretty fuckin? amazing. No wonder why so many people are going bonkers over it. Next, K.A.Y. dearest??
Lantis looks over his shoulder as he sees a white duck walk towards him, dressed in a sailor outfit, yet with no pants! He definetly seems in a bad mood, as he crosses his arms and taps his foot repeatedly. DONALD DUCK!
K.A.Y. tilts to a side, ?Need I explain who that is??
?Donald FUCKIN? Duck! Hey, buddy! How?s it hangin???
Donald huffs and puffs, and speaks in his usual garbled self, ?Ahhh, PHOOEY! You party pooper! You make me come HERE with these lowlifes and punks?!? Shame on YOU! I deserve better than THIS!?
Lantis shrugs, ?Sorry, pal. It?s the only thing we got for today. Hope you don?t mind too much??
Donald spits to the side, ?Have it YOUR way! Bah, I didn?t get away from that glory hog Mickey for THIS! I want a word with my agent after THIS!?
Donald storms off in a raging fury, as Lantis puts his hands in his pockets and smiles, ?Now, THERE is a duck modeled after my own heart. He takes shit from NO ONE!?
K.A.Y. gives a deep beep, ?He looks like he needs some anger management sessions?and a translator to go with it!?
?Cut the duck a break! He tries hard! Speaking of which, who is he up against??
Right at the moment, some thugs slump on the floor like bags of cement on the pavement, falling victim to the powerful punches of some angry black man in black shorts and sporting the familiar red boxing gloves. MIKE TYSON!
After Tyson knocks the last criminal before him with a solid straight to the jaw, Tyson spits on his passed out corpse, ?Don?t FUCK with me, nigga! I?ll fuck your shit UP, praise be to Allah!?
Lantis is shocked, ?HOLY SHIT! Is that Iron Mike?!??
K.A.Y. nods, ?Yes, the former World Heavyweight Boxing champion. Also a former inmate as he was indicted for rape. Is this REALLY the example we want to set for the children??
?Sssshhhh?. He might hear you! Oh, fuck, here he comes! Try not to piss him off too much, OK??
?Even MORE than he already is?!?
Tyson walks up to Lantis, swaying from side to side in some threatening fashion, ?Yo, white boy! I hope this little shindig of yours is gonna pay me well! Just tell me who to knock the fuck out, and even their ancestors are gonna feel the pain!!?
?Ummmm?.OK, Mr. Tyson! Your opponent just left right now. He is?uhhh?how can I say it???
?Just SAY IT, fool!! Or should I show some persuasion in order to jog your memory?!?
?Uhhh, no need! It?s?.Donald Duck! Excited yet??
An awkward silence ensues, before Tyson winces his eyes, ?Really???
?Um?yeah, really. No joke!?
Tyson shakes his head in disappointment, before he extends his fist, ?OK, but you better keep Disney away from my ass! Cuz I?m gonna murder that little bird! I?m gonna eat his nephews, gonna rob his uncle blind, and then I?m gonna take Daisy for a joyride and make her my crispy duck BITCH! Got that straight, fool??
Lantis salutes, ?Clear as water, Mike! Good luck out there!?
?You should?ve told that to the duck.?
Tyson walks off while throwing some punches, which scares some thugs away, as K.A.Y. shakes itself, ?Sir Lantis, I don?t know if the lowlifes here are more dangerous?or if our own roster is a threat in itself!?
?Beats me! But if we have guys like this on our side, we should be OK. Say, let?s get out of here, before they find you valuable enough. Here, let me make my point?.?
Lantis pulls out a lead pipe, as he puts it over his shoulder, ?Don?t make me do it Metro City style, bitches!?
Location: Metro City (Final Fight)
TODAY’S MATCHES
CONQUEST DIVISION
-The Next Big Thing-
Brock Lesnar (WWE Smackdown ? Here Comes The Pain/pro wrestler/MMA fighter) from odin
VS.
-X-Men Field Leader-
Cyclops (X-Men) from Fir
In: Up close and personal vs. Long range shenaningans
WAR DIVISION
-The Undead Wizard-
The Mummy (The Mummy Online) from Black Jesus
VS.
-The Holy Warrior-
Cleric (Dungeons & Dragons ? Shadow Over Mystara) from angelpalm
In: Rise of the Dead
FAMINE DIVISION
-Star Light, Star Bright-
Starman (Super Mario RPG ? Legend of the Seven Stars) from Warpticon
VS.
-The Sword of Legend-
Soul Calibur (Soul Calibur) from #8 with Hate
In: Lost-And-Found Objects
DEATH DIVISION
-Short-Tempered Duck-
Donald Duck (Disney?s Magical Quest 3 starring Mickey & Donald) from KMD
VS.
-Iron Mike-
Mike Tyson (Mike Tyson?s Punch Out!/very angry boxer) from RockBogart
In: Temper Tantrums Afloat!
Prove your strength to the world!
