I cannot tell a lie, I LOL’ed!
bunch-o-text
[details=Spoiler]Here’s a recollection of my life as a Turtle fan.
I’ll never forget the first time I heard of them. It was 1987, and I was six-years-old the day my mom took me to the local Walmart. While browsing the toy section, nothing could prepare for what I saw sitting on the shelf…
WHOA, WHOA, BACK THE FUCK UP!! Teenage Mutant Ninja TURTLES?! Heroes in a Half-Shell?! Michaelangelo?!! What is this thing and why do I have a sudden unshakable desire to acquire this awesome-looking toy?! It must have been my lucky day because mom bought that toy for me and, for a while, I was the envy of every kid on my street, who also had never heard of these “teenaged turtles!” Shortly after, I saw the first TMNT VHS in a video rental store and I found out exactly what a Ninja Turtle is!
Ever since, I’ve been a huge Turtles fan and I was into just about everything Turtles-related (except the original Mirage Studios comics, which I never knew existed). The cartoon was like crack to me, despite the noticeable drop in the number of fight scenes and the sudden appearance of a grappling hook in place of Mikey’s nunchucks. The first movie is one of my favorite childhood movies of all time and I still watch it to this very day. The games were definitely a treat because it meant being able to take control of your favorite Turtle AND play with your friends. Last, but not least, the awesome TMNT comics by Archie, which were an alternate reality/expanded universe of the cartoon series!.
As time went by, I noticed that I began to outgrow the Turtles. In fact, Turtles in Time for the SNES was my last, greatest TMNT experience in the '90s. I didn’t even watch much of the “red sky” era of the cartoon in 1995. Speaking of which, did they give Mikey his nunchucks back by then? I also remember trying to give Next Mutation a chance and shaking my head over how badly the Turtles were being fucked up. Funny thing is, Saban cancelled the series because it was outdoing their flagship series, Power Rangers, which was in the Turbo era. I guess that proves how God-awful PR Turbo really was. I read that there were plans to bring back Shredder, as well as introducing April (who should have been in the show in the first place), Casey, and even Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady!
Oh well, despite what could have been, Next Mutation didn’t make a pleasing first impression for me and I merely saw the show as an attempt to breathe life into what was pretty much a dying fad.
It wasn’t until 2003, when the 4Kids-produced TMNT cartoon would prove me wrong. This show is exactly what I had wanted in a Turtles cartoon since I was a kid… No corny-ass slapstick, no nonsensical scenarios (even by TMNT standards), and NO GRAPPLING HOOKS! It was also in 2003, when I learned about the true black-and-white comic book origins of the Turtles and that this new show, as well as the original movie, were based on said comics (go figure). Needless to say, the cartoon was a hit and along came the merchandise: T-shirts; Toys; NEW TMNT VIDEO GAMES; and the DVD release of the classic 1987 cartoon! It was then, I realized that the Turtles weren’t some mere fad and that it had true staying power in American pop culture!
I just wish that somebody would kick the shit out of everyone working at Ubisoft, until we find out who was responsible for that piss-poor roster in TMNT: Smash Up! The rights to the TMNT video game franchise should be returned to Konami’s rightful hands so they can re-release all the classics on Virtual Console, PSN, XBLA, DSiWare or whatever![/details]