well there are a bunch of angry black women just like they’re angry black men…they’re just deffinitely more entertaining than the us coherent ones…but aside from that, that av plus the statement is still the funniest shit i’ve put together in a while.
http://www.uploadfile.info/uploads/54a936493f.jpg
How the fuck could she do this to my eyes?
She is wearing fucking plastic sandals that you can get from the dollar store.
Her bra is too big. Her panties are too small! She looks like one of my teachers!
What the fuck were you thinking? Better yet, what the fuck was she thinking, and did you burn those sheets afterwards?
I bet those bitches were turned brown and red.
I think I even see buckteeth on that woman…
seriously wtf is wrong with you?
Good thing I didn’t click it the first time around…bad thing the quotes supercharged my curiosity.
“My eyes! The goggles do nothing!”
-_- Fuckin matt lol.
there we go.
and there we go.
http://img49.imageshack.us/img49/4712/1066437475295l5nf.jpg
http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/7976/4636748417412l3gi.jpg
She dumped me when she found out I cheated on her. Worst part? I was the one to tell her :wasted:
More pics at the bottom of the screen.
Blah. And no, Tori is not her real name.
Here’s another ex:
http://myspace-808.vo.llnwd.net/00673/80/89/673619808_l.jpg
This one is special in many ways. The biggest thing she had done to me was make me avoid female contact for quite a while before even dipping into the dating scene again. She was a bit unstable and one hell of a drama queen, but she has huge knockers (Ds, if I remember correctly) so that was forgiven. She didn’t give me any, though, which is probably the biggest reason I was unhappy.
First off, before someone else comes here and says it, I met her off the internet. Let this be a prime example for all of you who look for pussy online; sometimes it’s best if you just don’t do it. I met her in some AOL chatroom and decided to hang out with her since she lived in the Bronx and I went to NYC about three times a week for some SF action. We meet as friends and hang for a bit. She had to dash so I said bye and went back to playing SF without giving it another thought. We’d talk later and decide to meet up again. I know women don’t really like watching a guy play CvS1 all day so we just headed to this little park near city hall just to shoot the shit. Sat there for a bit and then we started making out. A few dates here and there and then we became a couple.
That’s where things took an interesting turn. Within a few weeks, this chick told me that she “loved” me. At that stage of my life I really haven’t had any real relationship since I just get bored and move on. I thought it’d be a great idea to say it back…yeah. Then all her little skeletons came out of the closet. She hated being at home, didn’t like life, etc. All the things an emo girl would say. Again, she had a nice rack so I didn’t care. To this day I’ve never dated another girl with breasts as exquisite as her breasts are.
She was also a bit of a loon. She’d go online and pretend to be different people. I remember following her to a chatroom once just to say hi and she freaked out because she didn’t want people to know who she really was and was pretending to be someone else. I didn’t care. I’m pretty sure she cheated on me while we dated but I honestly didn’t give two shits. The rack had me mesmerized. She also told me she was probably going to die of a tumor in her head. I don’t know if that was true or not but I know she is alive and kicking so who knows.
After we both got tired of dealing with each others’ bullshit, we just became incommudicado and did not talk to each other. This eventually led for us both to forget we were even in a relationship and find solice in others. I, however, became pretty scarred from the entire ordeal because she was so mentally unstable. I had a few brushes with that in the past but this was just it and I had enough of it. I ended up “messing around” with girls back in high school but didn’t get back into a relationship until more than one year later where I came to college and dated my other ex that I posted in this thread.
This chick is now a dyke. I’m almost positive it had nothing to do with me but I have this thing where I repulse women. As if my self-esteem isn’t shattered enough I think I also have the power to drive women to vaginas. Oh woe is me.
Another post about my ex that stalked me for almost six years coming in the near future.
Damn wtf, I thought this thread died after I posted.
Anyways, yea we were always at either a food resteraunt, or at Starbucks. Like I said, it was my boss’s sis, so we had to keep things on the low low. So we berily even saw each other. We took every opportunity, so I would leave work on my lunch break and we’d just meet up at some food place. Either that or one day during the weekend for a couple of hrs. On the weekend it was usually a movie and my place afterwards. I’d have to hit quick cuz she’d make up stories to her parent’s saying she’s hangin with her church friends and had to be home early.
That worked out okay though 'cuz it was usually on a Friday and I would still have time to hit the arcade afterwards.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I’d leave work for hrs just to fuck her at her house. But that’s when she was out of school. After that it was all resteraunts. :sad:
I’m not sure this one even counts, and it really doesn’t compare to the first ex, but oh well here goes anyway.
Sachiyo -
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y105/LordAzrael/japanlife/images/sachiyo.jpg
Met her back in 2001 on a study abroad. I knew she had a thing for me then but it was only a month long program. Back then I wasn’t the kind of guy who’d just hit and and quit it (but I am now! :tup: ) so I didn’t do anything. But we kept in touch over the years, and when I came back to Japan two years later we met up and kind of went on a date (which is where the above pic is from).
A few weeks after that, I met my ex, dated her for about 16 months, forgot about this broad. Maybe a month after the breakup, I contacted her out of the blue (we hadn’t spoken in well over a year) just to see what was up. She got right back to me and said she wanted to meet me. Meet we did, and it didn’t take long for her to get all touchy-feely with me. I wanted to hit it, but I couldn’t convince her to come home with me (which admittedly was kind of far for her) or check into a nearby love hotel. We met up again a few weeks later and again she was very touchy feely but wouldn’t go home or to a love hotel.
At this point, her elusiveness was bugging the hell out of me. I HAD to hit it now. It was like that extra hard bonus level in Mario Bros or something - you don’t need to do it, but if you don’t it’s going to bug the hell out of you. So I planned another date with her, this time right in her backyard, and booked a room in one of the fanciest hotels there. I went out with her, again the whole touchy-feely, we had a few drinks, everything was going good. It came time for me to catch the train back to the hotel, and I was determined to bring her back with me. My friends tell me this played out a lot like a porno…
Me: Say, have you ever been to the (hotel where I was staying at)?
Her: I’ve been in the lobby but I’ve never seen one of the rooms.
Me: You want to?
Her: Sure, why not?
I got her back and it took a little coaxing, but I finally jumped that damn flag and got the 5000 pt bonus. :tup: We met twice after that, again she’s very affectionate but I didn’t happen to have any fancy hotels booked so I didn’t hit it.
Then suddenly, I didn’t hear from her for over a month. I tried to contact her, but I wasn’t going to hunt her down so I gave up on it. Finally, I heard back from her - a short reply that went something like this “Hey, sorry I been so out of touch. I was a little mentally unstable, but I went to the doctor and I’ve got meds now, so I’m all good now!” … :wtf: I sent an email back asking if she was really okay but didn’t hear from her again for another 6 months or so.
One day she contacts me again out of the blue. I was put off by the whole “mentally unstable” thing (and who wouldn’t be?) but decided to meet her just for the hell of it. Besides, crazy chicks are good fucks. …So I’ve heard. I dunno about this one, but I do know she gave one of the best BJ’s I’ve ever had in my life, so if there was even the slightest chance I could score that again… Met up with her, in my stomping grounds this time, and of course, she was all over me. Hand holding, rubbing up against me, et al. It started to get late, so I suggested we get a hotel. She was resistant to the idea at first, but then started to cave since going home was going to take her an hour and a half. But then she was all like “I don’t have any makeup remover or facial creams” and that kind of crap. Allright, fine ho, I took her to a Lawson and found her an overnight kit, even paid for it. Ok, now she was fine with staying, but then she made me promise that we wouldn’t do anything. Again, :wtf: ? I threw in a bottle of sake with the makeup kit I bought for her - and we’d already been drinking that night.
We went to the hotel and got into the sake bottle. We gave each other massages. She then went into the shower and came out only wearing the bathrobe. We got in bed and she snuggled up right next to me. I started to let my hands roam around in her rapidly falling-apart bathrobe. She’d pull my hand away sometimes, but other times let it go. I was getting closer and closer to The Promised Land, and then I noticed she wasn’t even awake anymore. I’m not into banging unconscious chicks, so I just said fuck it, and went to sleep. Woke up late for work. :mad: She got up with her bathrobe all falling down and asked if I was going to be okay. Told her I had to go and rushed out. On the way to work I got an email from her saying how much fun she had last night and how she wants to meet me again. Whatever. You still on those meds darling?
I’ve only had 2 long-term girlfriends in my life, but I was with the first one for four years, so it didn’t leave a lot of time for other girls. I was with the second one for 7 months before I decided I wanted to be single again. When I was a freshman in high school, I dated a senior for like 2 months, but I can’t find any pictures of her and I doubt she could be considered an “ex” anyway since the most we ever did was kiss.
Here’s the first girl, the one I was with for four years:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Nicole.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Nicole2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Nicole3.jpg
If you’ve been around in #srkgd, you’ve probably heard some stories about this girl. I don’t have time to elaborate on them right now, but I’ll probably edit this later.
This is the second girl, who I started dating at the beginning of my freshman year in college, and broke up with in like April, I think:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Jenny.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Jenny2.jpg
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Ender120/Jenny3.jpg
There aren’t many stories with this one. We had a pretty normal relationship. Again, I’ll probably edit this post later to elaborate.
first one was bangin, second was like wtf, third i could barely make out.
ENDER: very much approved 
:tup:
That was just…too good. I laughed at Raz0r and Az’s story out loud and people started lookin at me crazy. Whatever. May this thread never die.
I think the real question is: Do you have any pictures of this exquisite rack?
Sadly, no. Her myspace pics are all of the neck up and I dated her about five years ago so I have no pics of her laying around.
If she didn’t take pics of em then they probably weren’t that great, myspace whores ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put their goods on display.
qft:rofl:
Nah she was never one to really show them off. She was pretty conservative when we went out. Even her tanktops showed no clevage. I had to dig in that shirt to find out how awesome they truly were.