Good question! I knew Candyman was going to interrupt eventually. But raid the White House!? Boy this guy got some balls :wow:.
I guess Lasagna Girl served her purpose. Too bad about how she went out. I really didn’t expect that.
I did see this happening with the mole. It was a really desperate move on his part.
Wow! even the White House is not safe from terrorists :crybaby:.
The president has been kidnapped by crazy Africans? Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?
So basically:
Pimp D = Sagat(or Balrog lol)
Candyman = M.Bison
Secret Final Boss for Act 3 = Akuma
Also, I can’t help but notice the Die Hard refrences this season. Hacking the country = Die Hard 4, crashing the airplanes by hacking into the airport system = Die Hard 2, and then driving through the park to catch some bad guys = Die Hard 3. Now all we need is Jack Bauer jumping off a roof with a fire hose tied around him to complete the set.
They were like, “Oh yeah. Tony is on this show, remember?” :lol:
Did I get my names messed up? Oops…
Jack has to be barefoot, too. :tup:
Real fucken sweet episode! Red’s and Jack’s tension was epic. She thought she was going to be counseled by Jack but he said, you’ll learn to live with it. Actually, the first 10 minutes was intense! I think next week is double episode because one is build up meter and the second is super ultra combo.
How did Juma get from AFRICA to America… in just a few hours? Am i missing something.
I don’t know, but fuck it. Bring the good shit to us! lol…* this is the longest night of my life*
He’s probably not here yet. Jack’s going to intercept his plane.
Hmmm…the actor who plays Juma WAS on S3 as well. Detective Norris interviewing Julia after Sherry SINDEL’d Milliken into a Fatality?
Wow…just like last season when they reused that Russian who was involved with the Jack for Alexis Drazen trade, when Jack got captured by the Russian Consulate he was the one who got capped at the end.
Oh well. Still some great eps - post-strike eps I might add - and this damn server is parrying Az’s recaps so hard.
TWO EPS NEXT WEEK GET HYPE
Tony Todd was also one of the maverick marines in The Rock.
I WANT MY FUCKING MONEY!!!
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jon voight might be akuma
He was probably here and using archival footage to mislead the public.
Another heart-pumping installment of the BAUER POWER HOUR!
When we last left our heroes, BAUER and CARNAGE made a DYNAMIC PSYCHO ENTRY into ORDINARY APARTMENT, taking ORDINARY GIRLFRIEND and SISTA XAVIER by surprise! …By the way, did anyone else think it was awesome to see one of these scenes from the other POV for once? I nearly jumped out of my chair! BAUER starts to give them the low-down on DUBAKU, and SISTA XAVIER wastes no time in turning SNITCH! It takes a little work, but the PSYCHO FORCE is able to free OG from DUBAKU’S PIMP STREAM. OG agrees to become an honorary member of TEAM PSYCHO in order to help catch DUBAKU.
Meanwhile, PRESIDENT SKIRT is feeling bad about having her FIRST PENIS put in harm’s way! She asks STONE COLD BUCKY to send someone trustworthy to go retrieve her daughter…and BUCKY tells her that he has someone in mind. For a moment, I was a bit worried he was going to send DARTH ALMEIDA. But instead, he sends THE AARON MUTHAFUCKIN’ PIERCE! THE PIERCE, only of a very, very short list of badasses to survive ALL SEASONS of 24. He meets up with SKIRT’s daughter, who turns out to be a FIRST BITCH of PRESIDENTIAL PROPORTIONS. Let’s pray to TRIPLE P that this family doesn’t go BUSH us on and have the daughter follow in the footsteps of mom!
And at the FBI, DARIA-CHLOE is feeling her AWKWARD BRA SIZE being challenged by the QUEEN OF THE MISPLACED COMMENT, CHLOE. Meanwhile, in a move that’s only shocking because it was expected, WEASEL MILO is revealed to be the mole!
As we join our heroes this week, we see that BLONDIE is also working as a mole together with WEASEL MILO. BLONDIE starts freaking out, as she is prone to do, but WEASEL MILO tells her he’s got this shit on lock, STFU woman.
Speaking of owning women, DUBAKU meets up with ORDINARY GIRLFRIEND and lets her know that he knows she’s a member of HONORARY TEAM PSYCHO now! But he isn’t ready to give her up yet, and cranks up his PIMP STREAM POWER to get her back…and it seems to work?! Has PSYCHO FORCE met its match?!
THE BAUER and SCARLETT (who has again powered down from her CARNAGE PSYCHO SYMBIOTE) finally are freed from the cops, and BAUER pulls more GTA TACTICS to catch up to DUBAKU! However, BAUER is owned by RANDOM TAXI, and it looks like DUBAKU is home free! But OG proves that once drafted into the PSYCHO FORCE, there is no going back, as she pulls BURNOUT CRASH TACTICS on the driver, and DUBAKU’S PIMP MOBILE flips over! BAUER and SCARLETT arrive at the scene…BAUER only wants information from DUBAKU, while SCARLETT is concerned about saving OG…so much so that she even pulls her gun on BAUER when he tells her to FOHGEDDABOUTIT! SCARLETT’s efforts prove to be futile though, as OG goes on to ORDINARY HEAVEN.
OG, your time with us was short but we will not forget your bravery and your sacrifice. You have earned a spot in the HONORARY TEAM PSYCHO MINORITY MAUSOLEUM. Maybe not the same floor as CURTIS or YUSEF, but we’ll keep a nice spot for you in the corner warm.
And DUBAKU would have earned a spot in the top-tier of 24 villains if not for his lack of anti-pussy. Ah DUBIE, don’t let it get you down! Plenty of other would-be badasses are also denied a spot in the all-time tier lists for this very reason! Like, for example, CAPTAIN KIRK, who had the MOST LEGENDARY INTERGALATIC PIMP STREAM of all time! So at least you’re in good company mah brotha!
BAUER gets a MINI SD card containing all the names of DIRTY GOVERNMENT SCUM, and sends it along to BOSS MOSS. WEASEL MILO smartly figures he’s fucked, so he recruits BLONDIE to help him Y2K the FBI servers! BLONDIE has one of her usual HISSY FITS, but WEASEL MILO is able to calm her by putting her in the WEASEL STREAM. …Not quite as powerful as the PIMP STREAM, but it’ll do. The Y2K plan works, and the DUBAKU DIRTY LIST is seemingly gone forever! WEASEL MILO gives BLONDIE a passionate WEASEL SMOOCH, but that was just to lower her guard so he could shoot her! …Did anyone else think he was going to break her neck in that scene? I did. The look on BLONDIE’s face almost made me feel bad for her though. …Almost! WEASEL MILO caps himself in the arm and tries to pin the whole thing on BLONDIE when BOSS MOSS arrives.
However, BOSS MOSS is starting to tune into the PSYCHO FORCE (perhaps the proximity to CHLOE helps?) and senses WEASEL MILO’s…well…weaseliness. AS WEASEL MILO tries to ASURA WARP THE FUCK OUTTA TOWN, BOSS MOSS rushes his shit down and captures him! Nice one, Cyclops!
Meanwhile, SKIRT is reunited with FIRST BITCH who is…completely unsurprisingly…a TOTAL BITCH. Whatever the terrorists have planned for the rest of the day, I hope it involves torturing FIRST BITCH as long and as painfully possible.
Back at the FBI, CHLOE’s L33T H4X prove to be too much for Y2K DESTRUCTION, as she was able to backup DUBAKU’S DIRTY LIST, making CTU PRIME’s operation a total success! …Except for the trail of bodies left in their wake, but given CTU’s history, only a few hundred dead is actually a pretty good day! At the hospital, BAUER is told of the operation’s success, while SISTA XAVIER arrives and learns from SCARLETT that OG is dead. SISTA XAVIER then launches into WALL OF INSULTS 2009, which has +10 blockstun and armor breaking properties! SCARLETT feels an intense PSYCHO BACKLASH and seeks comfort in the arms of the PSYCHO ONE, who tells her that crying is for NORMAL WUSSIES. Operation successful, good job rookie. SCARLETT then breaks into FRANKLY MY DEAR, YOU SHOULD GIVE A DAMN bitch slaps, which BAUER allows to hit twice just to show his immunity to it, then parries just for the hell of it! BAUER then tries to make one of his trademark PSYCHO DYNAMIC EXITS, telling SCARLETT the next time she pulls a gun on him, she better be ready to use it! SCARLETT counters with “I was”, and BAUER is left reeling from the fact that he’s just found THE CHOSEN ONE to inherit the TRUE PSYCHO SEED.* SCARLETT is left looking like she just JIZZED IN HER PANTS…and honestly, she probably did.
*We can argue that Kim was conceived well before BAUER activated his PSYCHO GENE in S2, therefore was unable to become an eligible heir to the PSYCHO POWER. The dormat gene did however activate latently, and while it turned Kim into a RAGING DUMBASS, it also bestowed upon her the latent power to fuck up any man within a 100 mile radius of her!
With CTU PRIME now HEROES, STONE COLD BUCKY screams YATTA and teleports to France while DARTH ALMEIDA becomes EMO and whines about everything while absorbing everyone else’s superpower and becoming extremely broken. …Oh wait, wrong network! Really, HERO BUCKY appeals to SKIRT to show BAUER some BRO LOVE, having just saved this country’s bacon for the I dunno how many times. …BUCKY could have jockeyed for his own job back or a full pardon for DARTH ALMEIDA, but he was thinking of BAUER first…maybe he’s not so STONE COLD after all?
With the bad guys caught and the elusive all-important data file obtained, its looking like a wrap for our heroes. …Waitaminute, what the FUCK? Is that it? This show isn’t “10”, what’s going on? Just as things are looking a bit too nice, DARTH ALMEIDA reappears and tells BAUER that this shit aint over, son! DUBAKU was merely the mid-boss - its time for the final boss to start making his moves! DARTH ALMEIDA asks BAUER to join up with him once more and form DARK TEAM PSYCHO to take on a very big, very bad terrorist threat. BAUER is left looking thoughtful and introspective…but we all know he can’t refuse the CALL OF DUTY.
SKIRT makes good on her word to BUCKY and calls up SENATOR RED FOREMAN, inviting him to the WHITE HOUSE for a little chat! Well, it turns out that RED’s secretary, EVIL SCREECH, was one of the DIRTY MERCENARIES! RED asks SCREECH to go to the White House with him, and as SCREECH receives email saying “The plan is a-go!”, he gets an OHSHIT look on his face! Does that mean…could it be? Are the terrorists planning a strike against…is 24 going INDEPENDENCE DAY on us?
Has DARTH ALMEIDA really reformed his evil ways, or is there a WWE HEEL TURN waiting for us? Will THE PIERCE be able to excavate the SAHARA DESERT firmly wedged in FIRST BITCH’s vagina? When will DARIA-CHLOE and CHLOE finally have that awkward lesbian wrestling match in hot baby oil? Perhaps we’ll find out next week!
ORDINARY HEAVEN had me lols. Good shit Az.
I don’t normally care whenever a side character dies and OG may have been Elizabeth Nash 2.0 but her death was sad. GG OG, I rank you up there with S2’s Yousef and S3’s Gael. :tup:
I saw some set pics that were released a couple months ago, and all I’ll say is you may not be disappointed!
SCREECH is a very fitting name, I thought he sounded like Edward Norton.
Tony and Jack on the field again! Tony wearing sunglasses at night too, it adds +10 to his sneak and speech skills.
I feel that the previews spoil a little too much. You can pretty much predict what’s going to happen in the next episode. Like how people called OG’s death from last week’s preview.
And another reminder next week is a 2 hr event!
Good shit lol, y2Chole always brings the 1337 hAX!
But seriously, if there’s anyone more deserving of the PSYCHO SEED, it’s Agent “Phoenix” Red!
Oh and Tony’s impromptu meeting has me really questioning his true motives, I have a feeling that just like ONE BILLION CHINESE in S5, the final climatic confrontation will end with him.
Anybody surprised at the amount of Teri references so far? Now I’m just waiting for BOSS MOSS to make some dipshit comment in front of our savior and have his world fucked up.
I noticed that too, it’s starting to sound like a Yo Mama joke. ‘Oh yeah well that’s not what Yo Wife told me before Nina blew her brains out. Yeah I went there, U mad?’
If I was a funny enough writer to do a recap, in episode 9 I would’ve said the FBI hacked Dubaku’s Facebook. Those cellphone pics Jack and Red showed to shorty looked like Dubaku was posing and showing off.
EDIT: The camera cut was really quick, but you can tell that Jack broke the girl’s leg to free her from the burning SUV. I think this is the closest we’ve seen Jack in his Season 2 don’t-give-a-fuck attitude in a long time.
Damn, I thought he was going for the neck break too, but I guess that’s reserved for the VILLAINS and the carriers of the PSYCHO GENE. Weasels don’t get to break necks.