New Female Thread

Regional Matchmaking Atlantic North
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I just wanted to say Hello to Rubes and Direness9. I was looking through all the forums cause I’m stuck at work bored as hell and saw this thread. So, hey to everybody. LOL

Rubes, do you go to outer limits? I was up there this past weekend for the tournament. It’s a pretty nice arcade. Bigger than I thought it would be but I was suprised by some of the country ass people walking through the mall. Damn! LOL It’s a small ass mall. You guys have some pretty good players though. Hopefully I’ll make it around next time Ted throws another one.

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I tried posting yesterday, but the SRK was being its usual ass-like self.

Jen, I’m sorry I missed your birthday. I haven’t been on SRK in a couple of days, so I was kinda out of the loop. I hope it was wonderful day for you.:slight_smile:

Angie, yeah I know, the majority of them are immature bastards, but you have to love how they seem to want to assert their apparent lack of brains constantly by making threads such as the one Voodazz made. Ignorance in American men at its finest.:rolleyes:

D9, I’m sorry for you about your back. I hope you find a better doctor who actually will take people’s complaints seriously. I swear I walked up this humongous hill the other day and I thought my kidneys were going to pop out the back of me. Now it doesn’t seem like that much. Get well soon darling and let us know how it’s going.:slight_smile:

Ronin, what’s up? Thanks for dropping by.:slight_smile: I used to go to tournaments at OL but I stopped going. There wasn’t much point in driving 2 hours to get beat and come home when I could stay home, play 2 of the games offered for free, and save gas. Besides, I’m not missed, so it’s no big deal. I’m glad you had fun though. At least some people still do.

In between working and going to school, I haven’t had much time to talk online anymore and now my relationship with Marcus has added problems. It seems like he and I are moving on different paths that aren’t leading to the same thing.

I don’t want to be in South Carolina, and I want to build a career for myself elsewhere. Within the next week I’m going to take a test to determine whether or not I get an intership with more than 50 newspapers in the country. It’s going to take me away from home (though there’s a slim chance that I will be able to work at a paper here in SC) for 2 months, and I’m going to make regular wages, effectively living on my own for the first time in my entire life. I’m excited at this prospect, but there’s a catch: It means 2 months away from Marcus, 2 months of no phone calls, no seeing him … nothing. Herein lies the problem: Instead of Marcus making things easier for us, knowing that I’m out there doing something to make soemthing of myself, he won’t lift a finger to even help our relationship. He wouldn’t call, he wouldn’t write and he definitely wouldn’t come see me.

Because he’s afraid of commitment and working for something on his own without someone prodding him, I get to be with someone who, instead of calling, writing or generally even trying to see me and keep our relationship stable, doesn’t call and makes it obvious that the burden of maintaining a relationship falls upon my shoulders.

I also have a so-called friend who refuses to even see what I’m trying to say: I’m unhappy, and I don’t love Marcus anymore. I can’t possibly love him. While I’m trying to find a place to live, a full-time job after graduation (in 7 months) and learning to take care of myself and pay back student loans, Marcus is worried about DDR and his piddly job at Wal-Mart. It’s taken him 4 years to finish a 2-year school, yet I’ve stood by him. However, everytime I say to this person, “I’m unhappy and I want more than this,” he will say to me, “you guys should work things out.” How can you possibly work things out when the other person isn’t even trying? The thing is, the guy knows I’m trying and Marcus isn’t. Hence, I’ve stopped trying to be a friend and even ask for his opinion. It isn’t worth my time.

Marcus lives 10 minutes from me and works a predictable schedule of 2-11 or 3-12 every day except one. I can’t go to his house because his father has “banned” me from doing so (most of you know the story on that). In hindsight, Jen sees ShadyK more in a year than I actually see and interact with Marcus, and they live at least 300 miles apart.

While I try not to be so serious about everything, I do have a future to worry about. Life is not going to be handed to me on a silver platter with a silver spoon in my mouth. What Marcus doesn’t realize is, while he’s complaining that moving in together and getting married is a big step and sitting back and letting someone take care of him, I’m attempting to move on without him. What I want is mature, loving relationship where we treat each other equally with respect and love. Where we’re trying to take of each other because we want to. It’s taken me 2 1/2 years of an off and on relationship, countless letdowns and doting on him like a lovesick puppy to realize I don’t have that with Marcus.

Please give advice on this situation. Any imput is greatly appreciated.

Rubes

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Rubes,

I came across this post and decided that I shall give you some advice. Now I’ve got a huge problem myself, but I’ll get into that later. Anyway, you’re pondering whether or not to let go of a relationship for your future? Well, I’ve read the things concerning Mr. Marcus and how he seems to be apathetic and carefree about the situation. He isn’t doing much now and he porbably won’t do much later. Are you feeling as if you’re the one pushing the load while he sits back and gets a pedicure? Well, I’d say think about your future first, but also go with your heart. However, there’s a zillion other males out there that could meet your standards if not exceed them. What I’m trying to say is don’t let your relationship hinder your future. I’ve heard stories of people that I know who put their future on the line for that special someone and it ends up being nothing, but an enormous waste of time and emotion. Worry about school and your career first. There’s alwasy going to be the opportunity for you to meet that so called Mr. Right elsewhere and at another time. I know that the idea of deep-sixing a relationship in favor of school and your career seems harsh, but you’ll end up benefiting, TRUST ME. Jesus Christ, I give advice and I, myself, don’t follow it. See the irony:lol:? You need to talk to Marcus about your future. You need to tell him that he needs to stat pushing more weight around and become more supportive. Your relationship sounds as if it’s hanging by a thread that’s gently caressing a razor blade. If he isn’t willing to get off his ass (excuse my language), then forget about him. I’m sorry if I’m sounding this way, but my bad experience with a few females has made me make some irrational decisions (wasting money, time, and a lack of focus on school). Hell, I think I’m wasting my fucking time as of now. I could be writing a book. Bleh, I’ll get off my ass someday. But as far as a long distance relationship goes…PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T DO IT!!! Long distance relationships are a waste of time. I can’t stress this enough. You can’t be with the person that you love. Hell, if he wasn’t showing you support when you guys lived only 10 minutes away…imagine a couple of miles or in another zipcode. I fail to comprehend the meaning of a long distance relationship. I mean, they’re based on trust??? PAAALEEEEEEZE!!! Every relationship should be based on trust and one should figure out that after a while the idea of being separated doesn’t work out which will lead the other half of the relationship to cheat or to call things off. I swear…you girls are mad cool and I wish I knew a few more like you, but you deserve a better situation. Talk to Marcus first. If he isn’t willing to make sacrifices for you that it obviously ain’t worth it. Eventually, you WILL need to start thinking about yourself. Like I have told a few other people with similar problems, you just may have to break a heart whether you’re willing to or not. Your future weighs heavier than a relationship. Like I said, if the relationship becomes even an ounce of a hinderence to your goals in life, deep-six it. I can’t stress this enough. Now my situation I’ll elaborate on much later…

Laterz

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Hey Im a girl.

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Ang: I went on Nervousness.org today, but their sign-up section was broken. But I do intend on joining as soon as that works. Keep me posted.

Btw, I’m sending you my stuff through the mail either today or tomorrow.

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I can see why you would just stick to the crib but it’s still fun. The ride home to ATL sucked though. Heh.

As for your situation… damn. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. I was stuck in an on again off again relationship for close to 6 years. Her and I were very much in love with each other but things always got messed up. It was like “I love you but you’re going where I’m not” so we’d break up. Then a month or two months later we’d get back together and be like “I love you, and I can’t be without you”. I tried really really hard to be supportive to her but she kept switching shit up and I was in a bad situation at the time so I couldn’t do everything that I wanted to for her and I. This kept on and on and on for years. Finally one day things broke and they never got fixed. We almost tried again but I had to draw the line. I can’t have her in my life and I can’t be in hers. She tore me down and apart and I can’t have that in my life. Not when I’m trying to make moves and get ahead so I wont’ be stuck doing shit I don’t want to do for the rest of my life to make ends meet. It hurt bad to basically put her out of my life but I had it. Even now, when I think about it, it hurts. You can only do so much and then things are just out of your hands. That was my biggest problem, I didn’t realize when I just couldn’t do anymore. I’d beat myself up over things I had no control over. It looks like you’re at this point now. You gotta learn when and where to draw the line and figure out if it’s really worth it. The only way relationships work is if the good outweighs the bad and that both people are doing what they can do for the relationship. It is a two way street, not a one way with no left turns :lol:. Is everything equal with you two? Is it really a two way street? From the sounds of it, it isn’t. You said you didn’t love him anymore, that he doesn’t make any effort towards you while you do everything for the relationship, that’s not healthy for you, as I’m sure you know. Those don’t sound like reasons to stay. If he won’t come see you or call when you’re 10 minutes away, then he damn sure won’t make an effort if you’re in another zip code, another state, even another region. What if you end up on the west coast? Even if that’s not possible, the point is still valid.

The other reason it sounds like you’re staying to me is that you’ve never really done anything on your own and leaving somebody you’ve been with for a long time doesn’t help in your not being scarred of just getting out and away and on your own. Being on your own is a completely different experience from being with and around somebody for a long time. Esepcially if you handle the bills, paying rent, etc. But being on your own is something some people just need. I moved out when I was 15 and I’ve never looked back. I went through a lot of hardships and a lot of hurt to do it, but it was worth it.

I hope things work out for you. I know what it’s like being in a relationship that drags you down when you’re trying so hard to get your head above the water. You can’t hurt yourself and your future for somebody who isn’t even looking at their future and making strides towards it. You can’t change people and people don’t change. Talk to Marcus, and if he doesn’t show any interest in showing you support in your endevors, including this paper thing that will take you away from him, then you don’t need him and he doesn’t deserve you.

Email me if you want to talk more, there’s more I can relate to the situation that you’re going through but I’d rather not post it on a public forum since it’s personal. My email addy is ran3030@bellsouth.net

Take care of yourself.

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Wait no Im not.

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Now I’m going to elaborate on MY situation…

It’s not too personal so I feel pretty much comfortable sharing it on this thread. Anyway, there’s this girl at my job who I am semi-attracted to. There’s a few things that ar epreventing me from making an actual move. Quite possibly the biggest factor is that she has a daughter that is 8 or 9 months old. I’m too young to have a kid or even get involved with a girl that has one. The other things aren’t quite important that they’ll affect whether or not I make a move on her. I guess I’ve been really careful lately around girls considering I got burned the last time I tried pursuing someone. That was way back in June. Anyway, I’m the type of guy that’ll pine over how girls don’t like when in fact there have been a number of girls over the years that have expressed interest in me. So why no gal pals, Satomi? My answer(s)…I was either A) too shallow or B) too dense to notice any advances whatsoever. What I mean by shallow is I was motivated mostly by sex. Now this isn’t something that happened with every girl I dated or “talked” to. There were actually a few girls that I was really into, but they just wanted to keep things strictly plutonic (sp?). Now allow me to explain the shallowness bit. Ok girls, this may make you change your idea of me and therefore you might hate me or just have an entirely new perception. There were a few situations in which I tried “getting into a girl’s pants”. These acts I regret and I can’t seem to shake them off. I feel very guilty for my actions and this affects my current experiences with females because I cling to the past too much. Basically, I’m trying learning what to say, what to do, what not to say, what not to do in the presence of girls. I don’t have too much experience with girls as far as an actual relationship goes. I’ve only had 1 girlfriend in my young life:sweat:. I don’t think that’s something to be too embarassed about. I don’t see myself changing much and I find that frustrating. This brings up the points I made in the Rape Thread in General Discussion. I think that I’m giving in too much to my urges/desires. Misha made a point that if society learned to teach sex properly and to approach it with amore intellectual mindset as well as toning the presence of it everywhere, the perhaps us males (as well as the females) can keep in under better control. So I don’t know whether to blame myself entirely or if my environment, my sorroundings, or my peers for that matter have anything to do with it. It could very well be both of those factors. I know that I’m willing to admit my faults, but damn. You know, every morning I wake up and I feel like punching myself. I guess that feeling isn’t entirely foreign to any of you guys or girls. So the question is, where exactly do I do? I mean, I search for love, but am blinded by sex. Even if I do find a significant other, that doesn’t mean shit. I mean, you’ll have to get hurt and you’ll have to get your heart broken, stepped on, torn out 10, 20 , or 30 times before it finally goes your way. So I’m looking at relationships as being futile at the moment. But part of me still wants that feeling. There’s just so much on my mind right now. I need a new identity…

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whoa! sounds like everybody is in a rut of some sort this week

Rubes: I’m not sure why you’re staying with Marcus in the first place after everything you just posted about the relationship. Being on your own is a mixed blessing and for the moment I highly recommend it to you. and no matter where your career takes you, be it another state or even another country, the opportunity for a new love is everywhere. It sounds to me like you’ve outgrown Marcus. good luck to you sweetie, i know these decisions are never easy but you’re an intelligent young woman and i trust you’ll make the right choice.

Satomi: most of the “shallowness” you described is extremely typical of both sexes, as is the guilt that follows such pursuits. we’re also human and sometimes you just need to get laid and nothing more. pardon my shallowness today :smiley: what’s refreshing to hear from you is that you don’t want to stay this way forever; you actually sound like you want to improve yourself. the only way to see a change in your behaviour is practice. which means getting back out there, dating and developing some kind of a relationship, even a plutonic one, to see for yourself how you’ve grown and what still needs work.

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I see your points, Ang. Hell, my mom wants me to be pursuing girls more than playing games. She thinks I should put the controller down and start looking for a girlfriend. I think I’m secretly letting her down. Like, I’m her son and she’ll always be proud of me and all, but I think she wants me to be more like my brother. His life makes much more sense. I mean, he’s got a well-paying job, was in the military, people respect him, he’s popular with girls. I feel like I’m supposed to be the same or at least do something with my life. But I don’t know if I want to drop all of the games and stuff of that nature because it fits my personality. I think that’s the least of my problems. I don’t want to be classified as the typical boyfriend who is Mr. Romantic and is all about picnics on a Sunday afternoon or writing songs for his flame. That’s just not me. Sometimes the demands of females really irks me. All they want a really sweet guys that’ll do this and that for them. Bah, I guess I’m not ready nor am I willing to conform. I guess it’s because of the images of guys that I see in TV and magazines. Most of them fit that prep/pretty boy look. That’s the last thing I want to become. But then I guess the females also don’t want to conform to those images of supermodels or 60 lb. vomit factories. This society is expecting so much in terms of looks and appearance. I like things to be beautiful, but…I don’t know. I’m feeling rather pressured right now by society. What exactly do I do?

Misha?
Angie?
Jen?
Rubes?
Anybody?:confused:

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Thanks everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it.:slight_smile:

I sat down and thought about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that he wants to have the benefits of an adult (i.e. ability to drive, make money, girlfriend to have sex with) but doesn’t want the responsibilities of being an adult (i.e. paying bills, maintaining relationship with girlfriend, having to take care of himself). He reminds me of my father who was worse because he had 3 children and 3 marraiges because of his immaturity.

I’m not a psychologist and I’ve never taken psychology at all (I flunked it in my second semester of school because I never went) but I think it’s safe to say that’s his whole reasoning. He didn’t have a great childhood (absent and abusive parents), so to make up for it, he’s doing it now when he should be focusing on the future. At first I could understand because I haven’t had a good life myself, but then it got to be too much. I’m an understanding and reasonable person, but like most people, I have to draw the line somewhere.

When I first met Marcus, he was the first and only person I felt I could be myself around. He was someone that I had many things in common with, we got along really well, and I could just sit in the same room with him, never say a word and still have a great time. Over time that changed. I really wanted the relationship but I made it a point to say that if our friendship would suffer, I wouldn’t even pursue it. Over time it’s been the two of us going in obviously seperate ways. While he’s drawing back into his shell, I’m coming out of mine alot more.

And make no mistake, I know my future is important and there can be others but I don’t want to feel like I just abandoned someone because they weren’t going through the same things as I am. That would be cruel. But as Ronin pointed out, things are not equal and I’m unhappy. I’m probably mistaken when I say I don’t love him anymore, but I can’t love someone who won’t even try to let me know that I am loved or even wanted.

People express love in different ways but when you don’t express it at all that’s … I guess not right. I’ve read this somewhere and I actually know it to be true, but all human beings need to know they are valued and loved by someone. In my case, I don’t know that very well with him now, but I knew it before.

Ang, I guess I could say I stayed with him this long because I know what kind of person he can be. He’s been there for me many times when I really needed someone to help me, and I just wanted to do that for him too. The problem is, I can’t help him if he doesn’t want to help himself. The other reason why I’ve stayed so long is because I was hoping that at some point he’d let me know or even showed me just what I meant to him; and that he’d mature over time and the little things would count more. What I’ve come to realize is, it’s not going to happen. He’s too immature and self-centered to realize that not even letting someone know they’re special or that they’re even loved results in them leaving and finding something better … or maybe he does realize that.

As a point I’m trying to make, take for example Tuesday the 15th. He called me from work (the first time in 5 months) to let me know that his car broke down and he would have to get it fixed. We were going to see each other and spend the day together the next day since he was off, but since he had no car that meant we couldn’t. I have not talked to Marcus nor seen him since then, even though as I said before, we live less than 10 minutes from each other. He hasn’t called or anything and, while I was ok with him calling and letting me know that he wouldn’t be able to come even though I hadn’t seen him in a week, the fact that he hasn’t called in 4 days lets me know that he doesn’t care very much whether he sees me or not. Yet, I’m supposed to be loyal and faithful to him…

Satomi, I don’t know about the majority of us just want a good man, who’s responsible and bright, to love. We could probably care less about being poor and putting tons of demands on him. TV and movies portray us as the extremely needy and clingy side of the species who can’t live without men. Just like you all look for someone that’s intelligent, kind, sensitive and fairly attractive, we look for the same things and want as much. Yeah, I’d love for Marcus to be extremely romantic and do things for me, but as you can see, I’m not getting that or even 1/10th of that. I get nothing. Those of us that you encounter that really are demanding are usually getting something but don’t acknowledge it while those of us struggling get nothing and are willing to provide the same kind of love and sensitivity in return.

I don’t know how to help you other than to say, don’t be like Marcus and do nothing yet expect in return. That doesn’t work and you wind up with the female disliking you in return. Don’t conform just because you feel like someone is making you. Just be yourself. At some point, someone who loves you for you will let you know. I sure wish the person I love would.

Rubes

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Rubes,

Sorry about your situation. I mean, I think it’s ridiculous how the good girls that ARE taken aren’t treated the way that they should. But…my faith in love is fading. It might sound like a bluff, but it’s not. I can’t comprehend why people fall in love anymore. Sometimes people get into it for all the wrong reasons. Think about it for a sec. You can say “I love you” to your b/f or g/f as many times as you want, but as soon as you split or begin to lose some of that “magic” or “fire” as they call it, you begin to realize that those statements aren’t so true anymore. I looked up to my brother’s relationship of 3 years. I thought things were going great for him and his g/f, but then he stopped having those special feelings for her 2 years into it. Imagine going an entire year and not telling someone how you truly feel about them. Now my guess is that he’s enjoying his newly found single life too much. I hate it when guys (even my bro although we’re blood) throw away wonderful opportunities. But even if I were to find someone, I’d have to get hurt a bunch more times before I get it to go MY way. It’s ridiculous this thing that they call love. It really is. I’m beginning to lose hope in the idea. My heart seems like it’s closing up. I guess I won’t pursue until someone is actually worth it. Oh well…

*Gives Rubes a digital hug

Sorry to seem so mushy. Just wanted to let you know that I feel for you.

Satomi

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I have watched the last 5 years of my life gone. The one person that I was willing to work out problems for and I loved with every part of my being, left me.

I can’t even speak coherently and the only reason why I’m able to type this is because I can think it but when I try to say something it comes out garbled and twisted.

I’m going on 4 hours of sleep and millions of memories, and I don’t know what to do or even how to feel. Even though I did the right thing, my heart and my faith in humans and love was shattered beyond all reasoning. I wish I could go to sleep and forget the last 5 years of my life. If I could wake up and be 16 again and make different decisions I would. Apparently, I’m too good for him to love and be with. I haven’t done anything wrong but I’m in so much physical and emotional pain, tears are streaming down my face as I type this.

I can’t type anymore … i’ll try again later. I appreciate everything that you guys have done.

Lyndsey

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Rubes,

As much as I don’t want to say this, I’m hoping that you don’t begin to fixate over this to the point where you cannot function. Don’t lose focus on the more important things. But you’ll need your time to get over it. Hope you feel better.

Satomi

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Thank you for the kindness. I appreciate that and because it’s later in the day, I feel almost 50% better. I had a talk with my mentor, who’s also my copy editing professor. He encouraged me to work on me right now, which is what all of you said.

I remembered the things all of you have pointed out and it made me feel better and focus better on me. Right now, school is and should be my focus, and I should thinking about what I’m going to do for the next semester and a half until I graduate.

My relationship with Marcus was important to me and it hurts like hell to lose the person I thought was my soul mate, but at the same time, I have to forge ahead and work harder to make the pain go away. I don’t know what he’s going through right now and although I’m sorry our relationship and association of 5 years is gone, I can’t make it come back. I realized that. Knowing that there has been a finite end makes it a little more bearable.

Again, I appreciate all that everyone here has done. It has made a difference.:slight_smile:

As for the test, I just finished and I think I did ok. The current events section and story editing sections weren’t hard but they made me think really hard about what I wanted to do. The headline writing section, which has always been a shortcoming of my editing, was hard and I really worked on that. I really liked the challenge of the test, and I won’t find out until early December whether or not I’m a finalist. In the meantime, I’m working on my projects and putting together my newsletter on my own. I’m also going to work on my videogames and improve what I already know. For a year and half, I neglected my games so that I could spend time with Marcus; it’s time for me to get back into what I need to do and what I do best.

Rubes

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Rubes,

Here’s a poem that I wrote about getting over a relationship. Not saying that you should rush yourself in getitng over it. Bah, I stopped writing sappy love poems a few years ago, but I enjoy writing about the negative aspects of love. Here ya go…

Midpoint

Admissions of guilt
I chucked them out the window
Like redundant candy wrappers
In a sense expecting someone to stop and observe
I bring to a halt my daydreaming
I acknowledge the back roads yet again
My eyes are dilapidated from the drive
I operate the vehicle as if Im compressing my heart in my very hands
Pulsating and vulnerable without a ribcage to shield it.
The wintry atmosphere feels so restful and yet my frame shivers
This is quite the sting
But I do not relent
I indeed pursue
I desire someone to be in the space next to me
A companion
Someone that I suppose I can love
Holding a finger or two in this bitter air
She grips my heart in its place
Can you see the stitch marks?
She will pet it as if its an undersized kitten
Do you realize?
That when it pounds you can hardly hear it
You have to carefully place your ears upon the vibrant organ
To perceive sound
As well as to sense its physicality
So then why are you still here?
If it is so intricate to coexist
Our collective souls
You are as untainted as the water I dont drink enough of
But do not mistake it
I thirst for the majority of my life
Quenching that thirst is something else
Could I place a finger or two on the dilemma?
How far will you blame me?
Will I be buried alive by your dislike?
I hallucinate
And I hope that you become aware of that
I visualize the deserts that are scattered throughout
Planet Earth I must confess
These sands of white and yellow are not suffice
Can you please conjure up friendlier shades?
Thank you
How about the oasis?
Let us set our feet upon it
Beyond the beyond
Celebrating the time not spent simultaneously
Wine glasses overflowing with the champagne of Prince Charming
That very same assertion
Recycling bin lyrics of love and infatuation
I continue to laugh and then I shed a tear
It is hard to display the apathetic look on my face when in reality I do
Worry and care and then proceed to care and worry
I concern myself excessively
My life and yours
The lunatic doctor that I oftentimes encounter in my slumber
Sleep that I can at least call my own
Offered to remove the fragment of brain matter with you in it
You little pest
A mental infestation
The art of forgetting has been completely obliterated
You fill the thought clusters
I like to describe my life for the very first time
A sitcom with repetitive events
Making you the god damn marathon
I long with a passion included
That I could pillow fight you to death
Because in my forty winks all I can do is escape you
You left me with minimal choice
Your mannerisms are crippling
I discovered that under the most problematic of circumstances
With minute things left in my possession
This mindset of mine is a hazard
An unhealthy attribute for someone so infantile and confounded
I am ashamed to make confessions that tend to bleed from me so profusely
I am transparent and always with this trace of culpability that is fond of my flesh
Here I am
Constantly playing the intellectual of the pair
Once again I have made another enemy in the formation of you
If God could generate such a beautiful canvas that is Earth
Then surely he can equip his brush and smother another layer of paint over you
Perhaps erasing you in the process everlastingly
With no such thing as a trace to remind me of someone like you
The nothing that ended up becoming my everything

The End

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I can’t even say anything … that was deep. Really deep. I’m going to print it out and frame it on my wall, seriously.

Thanks Satomi.

Rubes

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Heya peeps, wow it sounds like everyone’s going thru some changes.

Rubes, babe- Im sorry hon, I know I would be heart broken if I were in the same place as you. But youre a strong, smart girl and I think youre right, youre moving in a different direction and making something out of your life. In love you have to be flexible, and it sounds like he cant make that commitment or flexiblity. He’s stuck in a rut and he’ll have to find his own way out, theres nothing you can do to help someone who’s comfortable going no where. Im really excited about you taking that test and glad that you felt comfortable doing it. Im really pulling for you. Good luck girl! Feel free to email or PM me anytime, okay?

Satomi - Just take your time in finding someone, dont let your mom put you in a rush. Selectivity is not a crime as long as its not narrow minded. It sounds like right now, a true relationship is not completely what your looking for anyhow, which isnt a bad thing necessarily. Looking to get laid isnt bad as long as you use protection and the other person is looking for the same thing - which most females arent. shrugs You may also just be going through a high sex drive moment in your life also, kinda like being in heat. You just have to be careful when youre feeling like that cause most often thats when people get in trouble. But dont force yourself to look for a relationship, relationships come about in their own time. It doesnt hurt to keep an eye out, just dont let both eyes take you for a ride.

Havent gone to the doctor yet cause Im a cheap ass and a chicken to boot when it comes to getting prodded and poked by a disallusioned doctor. I also think I figured out whats wrong with my hearing and why Ive always had a hard time with languages (including english), but I’ll have to go to a specialist to get it completely figured out and so I can get some help in school and maybe documented with a disability. :bluu: I get to talk to the school people tomorrow about it I hope. Blehhhh. Its amazing how no one wants to help you when you need help. Oh well. I’ll figure something out cause this is driving me up the wall and effecting my school work. Anyway, I should meet up with my boyf, he said he had a suprise for me and Im a little worried. Is he pregnant? I must find out! :stuck_out_tongue:

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Thanx Rubes:sweat:. Man, we should all go to a coffee shop or something. Just chill and game for a little bit. Too bad you guys all live far away. Egh, I don’t think I’m going to EVO. I can’t beat the people at MVC2 in my area and Philly’s Finest owned my ass so I can’t really win Pennsylvania :lol:. Sigh But I’ll probably be the only guy that’ll use Jin Satome in a tourney. Is that a brave act or just something stupid? Bah, that game will eventually collect dust. Fuck it, I need to write a book…

ANY SUGGESTIONS?!

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When you said the “take you for a ride” part, I thought of the song from MVC2:lol:

Anyway, I don’t know if that’s what I fully want and is that really ok? I mean, who doesn’t enjoy sex? It’s just that I don’t want to be shallow for the rest of my life. I’ll learn eventually. Protection? WTF is that? Cyke:lol: I know what you mean. I’m careful when it comes to that stuff although it’s been over a year. Don’t know if that’s a bad thing. Whatever I guess…