From a personal standpoint : I compete because I love doing so. Interests change, but you have to move on for the right reasons.
I don’t think having a relationship, starting a family, getting a career, or anything else would ever change that passion. (Nope, not talking out of my ass. Done all of these except actually getting married and having children.) I practice, I learn, I compete, and I bond with my community because I enjoy it. I think it’s unfortunately closed-minded for people to believe you have to entirely STOP having interests, because you’re involved in a career, or a family. If other facets of my life prevent me from doing it as much as I want, sure, every life choice that matters has an opportunity cost. The people who love you will understand (SHOULD understand) as long as you’re a good multi-tasker and compartmentalizer. Prioritize what matters the most FIRST, and then indulge yourself when you have the time to do so.
On negative emotions resulting from gaming - Salt is a product of passion. If you never got mad when you lost, then you wouldn’t give a shit. Getting upset means that you definitely care. If you’re getting super angry at losses, and relishing your victories, then you obviously have a passion for it. If the negativity is driving you away, it means something else, somewhere in your life is loose or out of place. You need to evaluate that. Take me for example, I flip out a lot when I lose,
Walk away, chill out, and come back with a smile on my face. People used to be surprised by that until they got used to it. What am I doing when I walk away to come back with such a different attitude?
First, I think about the match. What did the other guy do that I was getting hit with? What did I do wrong? Why couldn’t I calm down during the match? (If I lost calmly, I wouldn’t get salty at the end. I was already mad before the KO happened. So what was the issue?) That leads me into introspective thought. It gets deep from there… I start thinking about what’s going on in my life. What are the real issues I’m upset about? How can I really work toward fixing them? Oh, what was I mad about? Right, I lost at a match in Marvel/Street Fighter. How much does that REALLY matter to me? (If the answer is, it really pisses me off, I shouldn’t have lost etc. Then the answer is, focus and do better next time.) (If the answer is : Eh, not so much, really. Then the question becomes, what am I doing getting mad in the first place?) Within a couple minutes, I remember what I’m doing. I’m in an environment among friends, doing something I love to do, and I just lost. So, instead of marinating in salt for the rest of the night, by then I’ve identified the issue, and I’ll working toward solving the problem (I.E. studying up and beating my opponents ass next time) as soon as possible. So now I’ve reconnected with my passion, learned from my loss, and am ready for the rest of the night. That’s what I do with my downtime after salty outbreaks. I’ve compartmentalized my ‘real life issue’ from my gaming issue.
It can be stressful though. It’s hard juggling stress from work, family, school, health, friends etc and adding on top of it an ultra competitive, ego driven, dog eat dog hobby. Sometimes that real life worry seeps in and makes us act out in ways we don’t want to, and it’s embarrassing. Sometimes we feel like we don’t really give a shit anymore. I doubt it’s really ever true. It’s just we have other things in our lives we need to deal with before we can focus our attention elsewhere.
TL DR - Basically, I think that my hobby, and this community augments my life in a wonderful way. I get an outlet for my intense competitive nature, and I get to do it among people who are interesting and fun. If someone is at a place where they’re confused why they’re still doing this, then it’s probably time to hang up the sticks and do some soul searching.
I understand that desire to quit because it feels pointless, and the negativity seems to outweigh the positivity. Good luck, Sean. If you figure it out, you know where to find us.
) took some games on Rob in the RR. Rose <3