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General Discussion
1

The past six months have been a rough ride. I’ve lost the use of my phone, my car, and my computer (using a backup). At this moment, I am almost entirely broke. By that I mean I have a few dollars for the bus to get to work and back and that’s it. I have half a box of instant rice in the cupboard and that’s all I have to eat. I regularly have to get on a suicide chatline before work that’s how depressing my life is. Probably going to need it again today.

This isn’t a begging thread and I’m not even sure it’s a desperate cry for help. I don’t know how to explain it, but the fact is, there isn’t enough to go around. That’s been true since the dawn of humankind. I just feel like I’m one of the losers. And I don’t mean that in a self-esteem-starved-oh-pity-me kind of way. I’ve given everything my best shot. I know I’ve made some bad decisions, and I’ve learned from them. However, even if I had made no mistakes, that doesn’t mean I would’ve won.

At what point does it become logical to just roll over and die? If we use the analogy implied by the title of this thread, you have to try in order to get better. In all modesty, I think I have gotten better. I am a better person now than I have ever been in the past. It’s not helping me live, though. I am fucking hungry. Working to get by is bullshit because life keeps throwing things at me that I don’t have the resources to deal with. So instead of getting by, I’m getting behind. And the only way to get ahead is to do more. I’m at my limit. I really don’t think I can do more. If this isn’t enough to get ahead, if my best isn’t even enough to keep from falling behind, maybe it’s time I just pack it up.

2

Hang in there (poor choice of words). Sorry to hear that, you can pull through this, what line of work are you in?

3

Provide more details of your life, and maybe we can better assist you more. The only thing i can say to that is a generic, keep trucking forward and see what you can achieve. Anyone can die, but to live through the shit, to push through and to suceed, thats not a joy you can experience other than by living.

But yeah, if you truly need some help, advice, etc…, and its this bad, than post up more about your conditions, how you got there, what you need to get out, etc…, and the goons of srk can usually provide some good shit to hep you get along and start moving up.

Also, cheer up

4

I had a terrible year my damn self. Relatives passed away, jobs lost for whatever reason. I dunno, I have a lot of pent up anger that keeps me motivated. Look deep and find a reason to never give up.

5

This year has been shit for me, as well. I haven’t talked to a single member of my family since before Summer, after my father and I had a huge fight. Right now, every part of my life is focused on work (I am still on a contract for another year, while they decide if I am the right man for the job). When I am not at work, I am usually drinking or getting stoned. I’ve had days where I literally get home from work, and just kinda sit here, doing nothing, for really long amounts of time. I haven’t watched a single episode of any TV show, except the occasional cartoon, since probably January.

But the thing is, I’ve been waaaay worse. I’ve had to eat rice or ramen (God bless you magical Asians!) for MONTHS at a time, before. And members of SRK will remember, I fucking can’t cook rice if my life depended on it, without a rice cooker. I’ve had to walk across an entire city, every day, to get to and from work, because I could’t afford a single bus ticket, for YEARS (now I’m a fat guy, back then, I was DANGEROUSLY thin). Hell, even those times were better than some of my earlier exploits :frowning:

I really don’t know what to say to help, besides stick at it. If your job isn’t giving you satisfaction and it’s a low end job, just go look for a job that will bring you a BIT of better excitement. Whether it’s a job doing something you enjoy that pays little (working at an EB games, or in the electronics department of a Walmart or something…these are jobs I’ve done), or a job that gives you a lot of free time to just chill (like a late night gas station attendant perhaps? I dunno lol), or a job with a lot of girls working there for you to have sex with in your fantasies. Find a different hobby. Even if you just start working out in your home, even if it’s simple aerobics and pushups, or maybe just something as simple as getting into a new show (or finding one you always were curious about).

Right now society itself is just plain broken. I know it’s a slow rebuild, and the people doing the rebuilding are literally circus freaks and retards and psychos, but I do truly feel that eventually humanity will right itself (probably violently), and you just have to stick with it. It took me until I was 30 before life gave me even a HINT of not sucking complete dick.

If you truly truly need help, shoot me a PM, and I will see what I can do to help. My sister is a psychologist who deals with suicidal people, if that is any consolation.

6

I’m currently working in retail, and if anything, my fighting spirit is what ultimately turned it into depression.

You see, I don’t like what I’m seeing at work. Things can be done better. So I strive to do better. And nobody says this, because they know it’d be bullshit, but there seems to be an attitude of, “don’t worry about it, booda will take care of it.” So there’s stuff that NEEDS to be done, you know, to stay in compliance with fucking safety and insurance protocols, but I’m the only one who does it. And when I complain about it, they just say, “don’t worry about it.” I’m worrying about it because I’m the only one who will fucking do it and I KNOW that my ass is going to be in the fire if an inspection comes in and it’s not taken care of.

So it’s just a shitty job. But I don’t know how to get out of it. I get paid a decent amount and get good hours, but it’s killing me. And yet, I don’t have a stellar resume. I tried going back to college, but had to drop out due to financial reasons. I’ve been with the same company for 8 years, but I’ve transferred to a few different stores (in different states; my attempts to get somewhere in life).

In the meantime, I’m struggling with the fact that I’m no longer young. I had a back injury about five years ago, and it’s never been the same. I can’t handle the same amount of work I used to. I try anyways because, again, it’s shit that really needs to get done, and I just end up hurting myself.

My finances started going awry when I got a ticket for out-of-state license plates. Yeah, that’s my bad, but you know what my real mistake was? The car had an engine light on, so I couldn’t pass a smog check. I maxed out a credit card and spent about $400 out of pocket trying to get it fixed, and there’s still problems. If I had just said “fuck it” and took the bus (which I ended up having to do anyway), I would still have to pay fines, yes, I’d still be taking the bus, yes, but I also wouldn’t have fallen behind on my bills spending all that money on the car. That’s why I don’t have phone service. I skipped paying my phone bill to try to fix the car. So I fucked up.

The car has been a thorn in my side for a while now. I really want to sell it, but I don’t think I can more than $2500 for it. Still, any amount of money in the four digits would help, since working in retail AFTER the holidays is like being quasi-unemployed.

7

I remember when I was working part time getting paid only $7.25 an hour living in a roach invested shithole in the middle of contested drug-selling territory. I’d be lying if I said I was depressed about it, but being poor got old REAL fast.

So eventually, you got to come up with a plan to make money and stick with the plan. There will be roadblocks you didn’t anticipate and sacrifices that have to me made, but that’s the only way. People like us don’t get good jobs and status for our birthright, we gotta work for it.

You mention that you went to college, but had to drop out for “financial reasons”. How? At your income, you should be getting financial aid, and you should be able to get loans for any excess expenditures (like books), if applicable. Of course, I would add that you should only go to college if you a) know what you want to do to make money and b) if a college degree is required to do it. Otherwise, don’t bother. Learn a vocational skill or be self-employed instead.

8

Well, here’s my question: what is it that you do that you enjoy the most?

Sadly, this doesn’t work for everyone. I can never get financial aid no matter how many times I apply, so I’m always paying out of pocket. I’ve even had other family members look over the application before submitted, and it always failed. I’ve also heard other buddies who financial aid were only a good 20% are covered, not allowing them to afford most of their classes (if any).

9

I work with a bunch of lazy fucks at my job with only a handful of us actually making it happen. Probably gonna start looking for something else here later on. That being said, having a shit attitude about it and spending time being negative wont get anyone anywhere. 8 years in the same job sounds like it would be good on a resume to me. Unless you have fucked up background like I do you shouldn’t have too much a problem getting a better paying job somewhere else. With better coworkers hopefully.

You said you have back problems, what do you do for that?

10

I’m just spitballing, and it may actually be different in other areas, but at least in my area, this was a valid option: Have you considered applying to McDonald’s? I know, LOL burger flipper, but with your experience in retail and the job duties you have undertaken, that’s the kind of stuff that looks great to them for management material. I’ve seen them send people to school for management classes, and Assistant Managers/Store Managers make a livable wage. It may differ in your area, but you should at least look into that. I’ve seen people with those kind of qualifications come in to work, spend about a month or two as crew, then start training for management and move up.

Mirroring other people, without knowing how much you’re making and how much you need to make to stay afloat, this is all conjecture. But just a suggestion.

11

@booda you aint on drugs are you mate?

12

Keep your head up dude. I remember when I moved to Cincinnati, it was one of the most difficult transitions I have ever faced. Within the first six months of living there I lost my job, girl I was deeply in love with broke my heart and was homeless. So I was going to school and sleeping in my car or breaking into abandoned classrooms. It was like that for a while, and I eventually got a job at Target making way lower than I used to and was still homeless. It felt like I was on the verge of death on a daily basis. It seemed that nothing that I did was helping me.

Fast forward to today, things are significantly better. I am not longer homeless and am working a decent job. I just kept moving forward, because I knew if I stopped then death would catch up to me. So I am not saying that you should not feel how you are feeling, but just know you have a support system here. Even if it is just words, they do carry weight. So basically keep your head up and just try to figure out what you can do to get where you want to be. It won’t happen overnight, but as long as you are willing to have a better life then you will figure out a way.

So keep your head up bruv. I’m pulling for you.

13

I had a root canal that they prescribed 800mg of ibuprofen for, but I ran out of that a while ago. Been taking naproxen sodium for back pain.

So am I on drugs? Well, not the illegal kind.

This story really touches me. As bad as my situation is, when I find somebody who just needs a dollar to get something to eat, I help them if I can. I always want to believe if you give someone a chance, they can make it. I don’t know why I don’t feel that applies to me, but I want to give everyone a chance.

Thanks for the support, everyone. I was a bit skeptical about exposing my guts, but I had made a comment on Twitter about suicide prevention, and James Chen responded to me. He doesn’t really know it, but that guy is a mentor to me. Because of his response, I felt like this was the only place I could reach out.

I’m still at the crossroads. Like I said, I make decent money at my job. After eight years I’ve managed to get up to $12 an hour, and that makes a career change tough because I have to find something less stressful yet still a competitive compensation. I’m in Vegas, and I really want to work as a pit clerk. Besides the usual housekeeping, you observe games and keep track of stats. Pretty much what I do in my spare time with Street Fighter for fun.

14

I was thinking the same thing when I was a 4 year old child and being stoned because of my religion (I did not know this was the reason until years later).

I told myself I would never give up and I don’t think I would be able to forgive myself if I would have given up.

Bottom line? Don’t give up. Try to minimize your expenses. Try to get a better job and/or improve your skills. Health should be a priority.

15

4 years old? wtf :\

16

which version of stoned are you referring to?

good happy canadian one I am used to…
or terrible horrible muslim punishment?