I Hate Getting A Medical Done

General Discussion
1

so yeah, got a sweet ass job for the summer until school starts up again (contract lasts until october, but if I don’t go back to school in September I owe the gov’t $15000, so yeah). But they needed me to have a medical done, in order to test if manual labour will kill me, and see my vision, check if there is already lead in my system, etc.

First things first, they need a urine sample. Awesome, so glad I went to the bathroom before i went there :frowning: Anywho, for those who’ve never done it, it SUCKS trying to turn off the stream while the cup is over flowing, after taking awhile to get the urge to piss again. Also, pee is REALLY FUCKING HOT. That was one hot jar I handed that lady.

Next I do a bunch of other tests, the only one standing out was a hearing test I took in a soundproof claustrophobics nightmare booth. A booth that I got stuck in while the nurse went to deal with other people. While hearing annoying beeps for like 20 mins.

Then comes the fun part. Doc brings me in, and first shit out of his mouth is "take off your pants and shirt. I’m like ‘ok, I’ll play along with u for now’.

He runs a shitload of tests on me, making me physically active for the first time in ages. I do lunges, situps, pushups, get scolded for smoking, etc. I almost fell down repeatedly trying to stand on one foot with my eyes closed while touching my nose with a finger.

Then he asks me to take off my boxer shorts. I’m like WTF. Even better, is I am in a room WITH A WINDOW, and outside the window is a fucking preschool. So yeah, now I’m naked in front of a window staring at kids, while they stare at me. Pedobear to the rescue? I wish. How sad that the only action I’ve had this year is from a random doctor I hope to never see again?

He then does a hernia test, either that or he molested me. Not sure. Either way, he moves aside my humungous balls, and asks me to force down like I’m taking a shit. I proceed to let out the rippingest fart I have ever had. He wasn’t impressed.

So yeah, medicals suck. Thank god this job is worth it.

2

Yeah, medicals do suck. What are you doing for yo new job?

3

I walked out when i had physical done cuz the doctor didn’t want to wear gloves while trying to do his baoding ball exercise on me…No glove no love

4

working at a local steel mill for the summer, pays out the ass though (about 18 an hour, 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week)

the doc put on the rubber gloves and my asshole puckered shut. At least I kept my virginity today

5

Those don’t seem too bad after a cystoscopy. I’ll gladly take a medical over that now.

6

I remember when I had my first medical, I was actually quite shocked when he first asked me to take off my clothes. I seriously was like “uhhh, I think I’m in the wrong room” and went out the door, asked my mom if it was OK for him to do that (I was like 8 or 9 at the time lol). She went inside with me and the doctor just kinda had a somewhat embarrassed look on his face and was like "ok, yeah, he needs to take off his clothes."
I remember after I took off my clothes, he inspected my balls, lifted em up, looked around a little bit and that was it. It wasn’t that bad, just kinda weird.
I don’t know if I could ever do that again now that I’m older. No lie, I’d probably get a hard on just cuz.

It’d be funny though if it was a male doctor and I just get a hard on while he’s groping my balls. I’d get a laugh out of it…not sure if he would.
A female doctor would be an even better laugh, though I’d probably get slapped lol.

7

Lies Lies Lies

Knowing your ass, you probably go the doctor once a week to show off your penis.

8

Ever get a fucking q-tip stuck in your urethra (pee hole for you uneducated fucks)? Yeah, come back to me and tell me a physical is so bad.

9

Medical? Is that what they call a physical now these days?

10

I had a camera shoved up mine and all the way into my bladder. Fuck your q-tip son.

11

Only you would get turned on from a male doctor touching your balls.

12

man, I was TERRIFIED of the same thing. I kept waiting for him to ask me to tip him extra for a happy ending.

No, a physical is much more thorough. Medical is just a bunch of shit a company wants done to prove (at a later time) that any problems you’ve occured didnt come from the job. The main reason was to check how much (if any) lead was in my blood.

And Valaris, you are a fucking champ! My dick sucked itself up and hid in my abdomen after I read your posts

13

there’s a medical procedure for that, or were you at my place last weekend?

14

How about being the doc and doing a physical on a morbidly obese woman who’s taking a shit while you’re gazing up her putrid vagina.

15

My dick’s cringing from reading some of these posts.

16

God, I laughed so hard reading this. Awesome stuff. =D

The bad part is I’m reading this on work. XD

17

I haven’t talked to you in years and you’re still gay? Awesome.

18

Not anymore. At least in Canada they don’t do the swab anymore (thank God).

19

i am still curious what the piss was for…i was told they were NOT doing drug tests, but still i wonder (especially considering i am a pothead)

20

General testing. Sexual disease testing also requires a urine sample.