A few things:
-I don’t think you should have addressed “SRK” just start with your story. While false familiarity is a nice tool, it makes it seem like you are presenting a story, and not just rambling your awkward confession.
You need an avatar. At least have Ryu, preferably a character like Dudley or Elena will give you much more credit.
Your format is too similar to the last one, from the help in the title to the TL,DR in the end.
The title gives too much away. It would be better to have a more vague title, that makes people curious. Being made fun of at school should be one of the last things you reveal.
Better segues, the transition from “rejected lover” to “groping a homeless person” was flimsy at best, you need to make us believe that. That is the “meat” of the troll, so you need adequate build up.
Spelling mistakes: you need some, especially if you are playing some idiot high schooler. Way too much punctuation. Visualize the sobbing teen at his keyboard and think about how his tears would obscure his vision.
Subtlety is key. You lay it on pretty thick towards the end. You need to reel in your audience with believable lies.
Don’t beat yourself up, that is what the people in this thread are supposed to do.
For your next troll, try putting it in fighting game discussion, or tech talk, the off topic-ness of it will surely incite more hatred.
You may also want to have a surprise twist at the end, like, if you played more straight, then at the end, you revealed you were attracted to this homeless person and wondered how you could meet them again, that would be good reading.
Remember: knowing your audience is key. Writing for yourself is fun, but truly effective communication is one that is reader-centric.
I had an av until SRK updated the forum software. It used to be an angry badass majiin vegeta showing an evil grin, but now i feel worthless like krillin.
So do I have enough credibility now that people will actually help me instead of making fun of me more?
