Today I had breakfast at Dunkin Donuts only because I had a gift card. I almost never drink coffee because it makes me jittery and far more energetic than necessary. But this time I got this wonderful idea to get decaf with cream but no sugar, instead of OJ. I don’t think I feel jittery. But lately, I’ve been pacing around and having all sorts of disturbingly motivating thoughts about doing useful and responsible things with my life other than sitting around and playing pointless video games all day. It worries me because this is absolutely not normal. Did the people at Dunkin Donuts screw up my order, or are there other stimulants in coffee that I don’t know about?
i would contact your local news channel and get them to investigate this. they could possibly be putting something in the coffee forcing people to be productive against their will.
good luck and report back, legend
You should try psychotherapy and…
Spoiler
nanomachines
Puberty is a bitch, innit Beguiled?
There’s only one way to test this.
See how many expressos you can down before you have a heart attack.
@AlphaCommando with that Godots cup of “jazz.”
But BeGuiled, they already do this to the flu shots to make people buy more consumerism during the “holidays” to be “happy” and stimulate the economy by buying an American car!
My coffee’s more likely to scald your insides, forcing you to search in desperation for some soothing liquid for you to digest. Unable to find anything helpful in the useful vicinity, you’d be forced to jack off doing a handstand (with one hand), shooting into your own mouth and feeling the temporary relief of the semen drizzling down your throat. But it’s not enough and you don’t have the energy to make yourself cum twice. You find as many men as you can and begin to take several of their dicks in your mouth, regardless of whether they volunteer or not. As your body floods with the fluids of other men, the scalding is healed by the man cream, and you’re left with nothing inside but coffee, semen and shame.
…I’m sorry, what was the question again?
WHOTHEFUCKCARESDRINKCOFFEE
coffe isnt like meth
Not enough to make your head explode, sadly. 
coffee barely works…
caffeine pills are far more effective without the sugar/milk. it makes you hungry but other than that its the safest form of energy. I be working all day THEN working out too…then still watch tv and play vidya
The fuck it isn’t
Caffeine isn’t energy.
Fun fact: Decaf still has caffeine.
It’s maybe 1-2% what caffeinated has, but it’s still there.
insert inception
You’re overreacting.
The amount of stimulants from the methamphetamine junkie ejaculate is minuscule at best.
Skip the cream if you are so paranoid about it.
'BeGuiled Thread, BeGuiled Thread, BeGuiled Thread…
YES’
decaf still has caffeine, like 10-15mg per cup. regular has about 100mg.
HOT
BLACK
WITH CHERRY PIE
with any pie…even poontang pie