Alright! Now, I know I’m not alone when it comes to getting cheated while playing Street Fighter. In my opinion (which is fact!), you’re either an honorable fighter, or a CHEAT! I’m not sure if I’ve played anyone here or not, but if we do happen to cross fisticuffs in the future, I have a few simple rules. These are rules that any honorable fighter should already be well aware of…but for you cheaters out there, please read closely and abide:
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Okay, when I hit you…please DO NOT HIT ME BACK! I am a man of peaceful intentions, and do not wish you actual harm. I merely wish to send you into a blissful sleep, where you will dream in abundance of all your favorite things.
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If I am dizzy (which means you obviously failed to comply to my first request above), then I do require a full 8 seconds to recover before we begin fighting again. My fingers can be sluggish and get cold easily, so I ask for ample time to recover.
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IF you actually strike me while I am dizzy, then I simply ask you to do the honorable thing and retire from the Street Fighter community forever. You’ll be better for it.
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While we are tussling, please disregard the ability to “throw” at all times. Only the most vile of cheaters use this glitch…and I can’t believe after all this time that Capcom hasn’t fixed this issue.
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DON’T CHOOSE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER COLORS! We can’t BOTH use them. If I’m not the right color, I might get confused. So, yes…this is cheating too!
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DON’T PICK VEGA! Who brings knives to a fist fight, anyway? He even hides his face in shame because he KNOWS he’s cheap.
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Don’t pick Blanka, either! He frightens me a little bit, and I can’t concentrate when I see his face and stuff.
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I’d honestly prefer it that, if and when I manage to throw a Glowball at you, please don’t block it or jump over it. Talk about frustrating!
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Tick throws or chip damage: If you insult me in this way…rest assured I WILL PERSONALLY SUE YOU.
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Finally, please don’t move around so much. I can get dizzy easily and may drop the controller in a nervous sweat. Hardly fair, right?
Thanks for reading! Not so hard, huh? If we all stick together (like at GameFaqs), I believe we can one day have an honorable Street Fighter community again!
