I let everyone know we are closing in 10 minutes and play " The Final Countdown " before I kick everyone out.
This year I plan to play William Hung: Hung for the Holidays at least once during the holidays and see how long it takes before someone to ask me to change the music.
Once I worked in a kitchen and tried to play Christmas music in the middle of July while trying to get all the male staff to completely ignore it until a woman brought it up and the just act like she was crazy for thinking anyways was unusual about it. Alas my co-workers then sucked eggs.
i fuck around all the time at work. I watch movies I definitely shouldn’t be showing on the big screen tv’s, I use the intercom system all the time to page non existent people or advertise random/non existent things (come to my department to buy a big screen tv…RIGHT NOW!). I wander over to the pet department to gather cool things that I can arrange in my department, so it’s like some epic battle scene or re-enactment of whatever tickles my fancy
My rule of thumb is that a job should NEVER be 100% about working. If you can’t have at least SOME fun at work, or aren’t allowed to do certain things (I fucking CAN NOT STAND jobs where they try to tell you not to talk…wtf is this, communist China?), then why bother working there?
Also, I’ve faked leg injuries at jobs just to see if they believe me (they usually do). Great way to go home early, telling people u slipped in a puddle
At the old call center job years ago, I enjoyed using various random dialects and accents over the phone. The interesting thing is that it apparently doesn’t really seem out of the ordinary to the other person if you don’t go overboard with it…just using a slight, subtle version is actually good enough to fool a lot of people. Then again, I am pretty good at imitating other people in the first place.
Further out in left field: I’ve sniffed the chairs of several hot female co-workers.
*and of course that reminds me…yeah, I’ve jerked off at work a few times…either out in the car, or in the bathroom.
I accidentally detached/dropped/broke the sink in the men’s room not too long ago. The rumors go that either I fell asleep on the sink and it broke under my weight, or I brought a girl in after work hours and smashed her while she sat on the sink
All I did was try to use the sink for support while getting up from the toilet seat and it went down.
I’m known a work for being a man-whore, so they’re more inclined to believe rumor #2, so I’ll just continue to evade the subject when they ask and let them believe what they want to. Not gonna tell them I broke it while trying to get up after dropping dat stool.
I watch movies/TV shows on my laptop all the time at work. I sleep quite frequently also. Usually my routine is: study for 2-3 hours, fall asleep for like 20 minutes, wake up when customer comes in, stare out the window for like 10 minutes, drink an energy drink, repeat cycle.
I work at GNC, anybody who has worked there knows this is a typical day.
It would be very difficult to work any other job, I literally don’t do anything aside from being a salesman. Occasionally I gotta dust some shelves, unload, and stock countless boxes of shipment, but other than that, I got a pretty sweet gig going. Perfect college student job.
I sometimes eat my breakfast/lunch inside of the walk-in refrigerator because I want peace and quiet. its loud as fuck in my work area and people STARE directly into what it is you are eating…“oh what you got there? a bagel?”
I only use the restroom on a certain hall because its the biggest …
ive done “something” with my female manager
people say im a selfish worker and that I look out for only me…I have no idea what this means…I play to win…
Back in my highschool days, when I was the niteshift manager at a Wendy’s, I took a drive-thru order 2 minutes before closing. The guy ordered all kinds of shit…everyone was like WTF?? I let him finish his order, then I said “I’m sorry sir, we’re closed!” Then cut out the drive-thru lights. Man was he pissed! He drove up to the window, and we all peeked around the corner at him laughing our asses off…He must have sat there for 5 minutes before driving off. :lol:
The ironic thing is that something similar happened to me not long ago. I immediately remembered what I did back then. I guess it’s true that what goes around, comes around…
I “acquiered” various goods… bottles of wine, cartons of cigarettes (even though I don’t smoke).
Had sex with various hot female employees. (The next day is always the best. “Hi.” “Hello.”)
Watched TV for HOURS!
Yes, I do work at the airport. So much slacking off, it’s not even funny.
Things ranging from the geeky to the down right crazy.
My former manager used to let us bring the PS2 in here with a television. Did it nearly every shift.
I had a DDR pad in here a few times.
Danced to regular music countless times.
I painted miniatures at my desk once.
I brought my entire DAW in here and started mixing music. It was so funny to see a recording studio right in the middle of work.
My buddy and I used to go up on the 8th floor and drink beer.
I still bring a drink in here every now and then, but really rarely.
I have entertained the thought of trying to run a tournament up here without anyone knowing about it. But I’m pretty sure the place would be raided and I’d be blamed for it.
Co-workers have done faaar worse, though.
A co-worker had a hooker at our other site. Probably more than once.
Another co-worker at the same site got let go for straight up having a spread of liquor on the counter getting lit at work.
Another one went home and slept for about 4 hours every shift until he got caught.
My former manager used to have strange women he picked up in bars in here back before he was the manager.
Yet another was watching child porn on the network. He should been arrested, and probably was. Never heard from him again.
Now we’re all straight-lace conservative corporate environment and none of that stuff would ever be tolerated. Even though some of it… still goes on…
This is great for all you teenagers, part time working students, or just you people who work at big chain stores or big corporations.
If you ever tell a manager you’re injured or not feeling well, the first thing they ask you is “Did this happen at work or at home?”. If it happened at home, they don’t give a fuck and won’t send you home usually unless you’re seriously injured or something. If you injured yourself at work, they’ll treat you like a god, send you home immediately and sometimes pay you for the hours you missed.
Why, you ask? Because they’re scurred you’ll sue them.
ANYWAYS, I’ve had sex with a coworker in the break room, hooked up a 360 to the TV in the back of the lobby and played games with a buddy for 3 hours while managers were wondering where I went, and had a (open) ketchup packet war with 2 other guys around my age while there were 4 cars waiting in Drive-Thru.
I had a summer job working as an overnight reception clerk at a campground and near the end of the season when things slowed down most nights I was literally the only person in the park.
There was a golf cart the daytime park attendants used to use to deliver fire pits and such and we on night shift used to put it in neutral at the top of hills so the governor wouldn’t kick in and run time trials down some slopes in the park. We’d also drive through trails and explore at night which was awesome.
There was also a mini television kept in the reg. booth that I’d hook up my SNES and PS2 to and kill half of my shifts playing whatever. It was a sick job and I’m sad it was only for a few months.
Aw man. I feel bad for whoever is on the Aircraft Carrier the Enterprise. Guess what theme song plays whenever they leave port? I kid you not. Star Trek: The Next Generation’s Intro. Saying those were some unhappy looking sailors on the brow was an understatement.
fast food stories are a dime a dozen. I shocked a girl in the dining room, while we were open, when I worked at a wendy’s in high school. I worked with a few guys who fucked girls on dining room tables and shit like that. In addition to MANY MANY times of working high, getting high at work (amazing how useful the freezers fan’s are at getting rid of pot smoke), starting a fight with a customer (technically HE started it, and I finished it).
From McDonalds, I there was a kid in high school who had his manager jack off on an apple pie, then that kid ate it, for $50. He had to quit soon after.
Ketchup packet war? I decorated the back cashier (some gay guy) in mustard and ketchup while on shrooms. I also recommend ketchup packet russian roulette. You just keep twisting them takeout packages of ketchup, on twist at a time, while holding it in front of your face. Whoever takes a shot in the head loses.