There’s this fightin game that’s so shitty, it’s shit. And it’s called Street Fighter 4.
P.S. I don’t like the game at all.
So there’s this game, where all you do throughout its entirety is pull L to zoom in and pull R to shoot others doing the exact same thing as you for hours on end. Sure, the framerate is at a steady 60fps, but after about 6 straight years of the same cliche and redundant bullshit you’ve already seen in its previous versions you start to sit back and wonder just how exactly this game has become one of the most celebrated and best selling shooters of all time.
Then you remember that it’s actually not that shocking considering that people are fucking cattle. And (hopefully) this is the part in the game where you either:
A: Take it out and reflect on your desicion to actually spend money on this bullshit.
or
B: You keep playing it, and the rest of us spend literally no time mourning over your parents unfortunate decision to conceive. 
In this game, you control a person in pink and he has an extremely annoying voice. You can choose different options that could modify the game in many ways, the only problem is the fact that the character can randomly choose a different option then yours, if you choose wrong then it’s game over. You can also only save once at the start of the game and everything kills you in 1 hit, theres a ton of different enemies that fly around the screen and some of them can be randomly generated. There is no exploration whatsoever, you just keep going to the next room. The music is replaced with abunch of annoying beeps, killing monsters makes the music louder. You have to press a button when you hear a certain sound in the music otherwise you lose, the sound is usually very quiet and you need to turn your speakers up to hear it.
Once you beat the game, you get a shiny little star on your save file, then once you load it up again, the save file gets erased, then the game screen turns black.
This game starts off with some cliche “sorry to make you come out of retirement, but you’re the only one who can handle this” bullshit. The game is just cutscene, sneaking, cutscene, boss fight. And when you sneak you can KO or kill the enemies but you can’t steal their weapons. The bosses are the dude from Roadhouse but has a gun fetish, this ninja with a sword and fetish for being punched, a fucking tank, a fucking helicopter, some dude in a mask who reads your memory card, some sniper chick with a wolf fetish, some diesel dude with a gatling gun, a fucking gundam armored core looking thing and some blonde dude with an Aussie accent or something that’s your brother. Along the way you end up teaming up with this chick who helps you but get mind controlled before a boss fight but your pimp hand frees her and then she gets shot before a different boss fight. You also team up with this otaku ass guy who has some thing that turns him invisible. The story goes on and it’s oh we knew more but didn’t tell you it and then it’s like “look I tricked you into turning on the nukes by making you think they were already active but they weren’t LOL. Now you actually have to turn them off now” and “you’re my brother, we’re clones and I hate you because you got the good genes” and some other science genetics crap. You kick your brother’s ass and he falls from a really high edge, save the world, get a call saying some dude is gonna level the place NOW, you want to escape but your brother survived his fucking fall and is driving and shooting at your ass while you’re trying to escape! You shoot his ass while the chick drives the escape jeep. You escape, bro dies, get a call going we stop the missiles from coming, don’t worry and THE END.
In this game you play as a knight that burns down a village by accident and then runs away from it bawling like a girl. With a little girl from the village. He runs halfway across the world to his daddy and ends up getting turned into a fruity white haired space paladin that wears black lipstick and lots of powder and fights aliens and robots from the moon. He does this with the help of his scantily clad girlfriend, a pair of kids, a pussy bard, a couple of crotchety old men, a pedo ninja, the little girl in a grown up body and some guy that can’t go two cutscenes without turning on them.
You start off as this green-haired chick-- she’s a mind-slave, by the way-- who can cast magic and somehow manages to pilot a giant suit of magic-powered armor. For some reason, these two dudes decide it’s a good idea for this chick, who has like zero control over herself at this point, to lead an invasion of this city to steal a hidden magic… creature… thing. Whatever. It has a stupid ass name. Oh, and the guards here are dressed like mummies for some reason. And they sic their attack dogs on you… and FUCKING WOOLYMAMMOTHS TOO.
So you get into contact with this magic monster thing-- it’s called an Esper, oooooooh, mysterious-- and then they have a staring contest. But before that, by the way, you fight a giant fucking snail that’s guarding the gate. Yep. And then eventually, as you progress you get a bunch of different characters including this perverted-ass king who would bang everything in sight (even a little girl, who joins your party later on), go sit through this opera scene that sounds lame since it’s 16-bit, and… you get a jungle boy who’s so stupid that he mindfucks this samurai with a porn stache who speaks in Ye Olde English for some reason. Eventually, the world turns into a big pile of fuck, thanks to the evil mastermind behind all this: some psycho clown dude who thought it was cool to poison the waterway of the samurai dude’s castle. Y’know, for fun!
So you’re all separated (including this stupid ninja guy who keeps showing up to take your money, then leaves after like a couple of battles with him) and you need to regroup to fight clown dude, who’s practically a god at this point. To make a long story short, world turns into an even bigger pile of fuck thanks to clown dude shooting Jesus beams at everything from his giant ass fortress, you regroup with your friends (and recruit a yeti along the way), you spend countless fucking hours killing dinosaurs (that could just as easily wipe out your entire party) to level up and learn your shitty magic spells that take FOREVER to master, then you take down the bad guy in his fortress. Before that though, he mentions during the obligatory friendship speech that, “You sound like lines from a self-help book!” Class A writing, there.
THE END.
Hold right.
It’s funny because this could be so many things.
So you play as this skinny blonde guy with a big head and even bigger hair, who somehow wields a sword twice his size. You travel with a dog, a black dude with a gun for an arm, some chick with huge tits and a variety of other weird-ass characters. You’re some crazy-talented ex-soldier or some shit, who joins this do-good terrorist group to try and stop a big corporation from killing your planet. All that is just a ploy for some bigger plan involving a dude with long gray hair and a sword THREE times his size (guess he had to one-up the twice-your-size thing), who ends up being the final boss. He also kills your primary love interest about 1/3rd of the way into the game. Then you find out you were never a badass soldier in the first place and that the memories you have of being a soldier aren’t yours. Well then how the FUCK did you learn how to use that bigass motherfucking sword?
Somehow this game spawns a bunch of sequels and spin-offs and makes a shit-ton of money.
There’s this game that you get to pick one of 16 standard characters or 17 additional hidden ones. You fight in random places around the world that don’t necessarily exist or wouldn’t even dare exist. The game’s full of random broken shit that don’t always work 100% of the time, but do consistently enough that it’s worth the time. One of the stages has a song that will get stuck in your head for a week. The game has shitty balance, inescapable gimmicks, and it’s a good idea to watch the characters’ feet. And don’t jump. Jumping is useless.
I’m in. Didn’t even bother to read the rest. Now give me my One Winged Angel, motherfucker.
You fight as these 4 dudes from X-Men and beat the shit out of Megaman
in this game you just shoot things endlessly with a silly space ship, you don’t even have to be good, just keep on inserting more credits and using continues and you’ll finish the game in 30mins. they dont even have cutscenes or story lines, and the graphics look like snes. pointless.
Well you see, the thing is…
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This game begins with your character walking up to a castle gate pretending to be all badass before entering. Depending on which version you play the main lead will either look like a Conan clone hooked on roids or a feminine looking man with bizarre fashion sense. Regardless of which version you have go through legion of zombies, werewolves, bats, mummies and others monsters using enchanted S&M gear. You use the power of heart to use sub weapons, and eat food that’s been stored within the castle walls for god knows how long in order to survive. His S&M gear must be heavy as he’s unable to control the direction of his jumps once he’s airbourne and some platform break from under him upon landing. Upon reaching atop of the castle he confronts a demon lord that 's claims to be a vampire even though he doesn’t have the appearance or the powers of traditional vampires.
You play as some green haired robot chick trying to rescue her incompetent, perverted, creator/father from a bunch of people with the same face. Game play consists of shaking things to solve puzzles, shaking things to find items, shaking things to use items, shaking things to fight enemies, etc. It’d be the perfect game for the Wii.
Alrighty this game’s main character is a black belt and master of a deadly martial art. The way he kills people however, is retarded and boring as hell. TODs all over. Fucking stupid. Who cares? He claims to want to save the remaining masses after a worldwide holocaust, but all this douchebag does is go around killing everyone who’s left. Did i mention this guy has a serious leather fetish in a world where technology like Air conditioning is non-existent? Dude must be drowning in his own ball sweat on a daily basis. Occasionally he’ll bring down a local crimelord but then he just leaves after, and you know the power vacuum in his wake will only result in someone else taking the guy’s place. So this jackass is kinda wasting his time. Along the way he meets up with this council leader who’s actually doing a good job restoring order to the wasteland, has a pretty sweet capitol set up, and even an organized youth work program to help the community restore remaining landmarks like the pyramids… but he just wants to kill him too for some idiotic reason. Whatever.
So you uuh play as this blue dude and the objective of the game is to go right and to shoot stuff.
In this other game, you play as this blue humanoid creature and the objective is to go right until you pass this spinning sign and after the second time you encounter this fat dude in a big machine.
In another game, the objective is to stack more bubbles than the other guy and when you win, your character jumps up and down, up and down, up and down.
you play as talking animals that are about the size of a 10 year old trying to stop some fat fuck with nothing better to do with his life who instead of using his smarts to help humanity he builds this weak ass robots that can expolde if you stab them with a knife releasing a animal (how some of the animals can talk and the other look like real animals is stupid). This nigga fails numerous times but in one game his grandpa got executed yet he still walks the earth even though he destroyed half the moon. Then there’s these 7 emeralds that have powers n shit and you have to find them all to save the world; without them “you can’t do anything”
sounds boring…
“3s” as written by “ya’ll”
It’s a game were you take cliche monster movie characters and make them beat each other up. It lacks tact, such as the frankenstein’s monster ripoff squishing you with his buttcheeks,you can inflate a characters breasts until they explode, and one of the levels is a giant fetus, and your main goal is to prevent it from being born (abortion politics should stay out of videogames), at least that’s what it seems like, it does not have a terribly complex story.