Crazy Answers to Normal Questions?

Just found this whilst browsing about and had a good roflcopter, and it got me thinking to ask if anyone here had any decent recollection of some crazy shit they may have heard in response to a logical question; either in class or possibly @ work?

Also on an unrelated note, need more votes for :lovin:Lily Cole:lovin: on my other thread.

Hmmm… A few.

My gym teacher had us in class for a week of health (ie. we sit around and do nothing instead of playing some sport) back in the eleventh grade. Of course, being in a Catholic school, they have to tell you not to use your dick on any of the whorebags because Jesus was against the whole sex thing. When asked what I would do if I got a girl pregnant I promptly replied “Skip town.” He was not amused. Apparently, I’m not “honourable.” I decided not to mention his little stretch in prison after he beat the shit out of a guy for taking his parking spot. I’m the bad guy.

Girl I know was asked where she was from and replied that she was “Iraqien.” Not Iraqi. Iraqien. She was quite adamant about it, too. Laughed at me when I tried to correct her because, “you’re from Italy, do I call you an Italiee?”

Student: I have a question.
Prof: Yes, the exam is cumulative. Is that what you were going to ask?
Student: No, I wanted to know if it was about the whole year or just the term.

Women : "So, where do you work?"
Man : "I work at IT."
Women : "Oh! That must be fun right?!"
Man : "Eh…it keeps bear away from door…"
Women : “Bear?”

1: Hey man, I heard you were sick, what happened? You’re not contagious are you?
2: It was pretty bad, I had diarrhea.
1: Oh that’s cool, I already had that once, I can’t get it again.

girl: hey wuts up
me: good…hey how you been?
her: 9 weeks pregnant…wanna marry me?
me: :confused:

So what did you say?

This is what I thought you should of said.

you: let me think about it
her: okay
you: so 9 weeks huh?
her: yea.
you: I call you later
her: k

4 AM
ring ring
her: hello?
you: yea so i thought about it.
her: and?
you: well it was a very nice offer of yours, but I think I have came to a conclusion.
her: what is it?
you: Bitch iz youz crazy!


my response was…wheres the man that got u preggers…is he not marrying u?

this isnt the first time shes asked me to marry her…she did once before while she was in the middle of divorce via txt message. oh by the way im the one who told her to get divorced cuz her husband was arrested for armed robbery.

I’m confused too. Finish what you were intending to say. It keeps bears away from doors? God man what is it!?

My cat always goes outside to eat grass if I don’t give him food he likes, and always pukes up after (stupid cat).

One of my brothers friends asked him whether our cat was bulimic, and he replied “No, he’s Siamese”

lol It is an old Russian proverb. You hate your job, but it pays the bills, meaning, since you are paying the bills and upkeeping your house you live at, you can buy stuff to keep the bears away from your door in the Siberian tundra…get it? Keep bear away from door? Because in Russia, bears always want in from cold.

In Russia, Bear work shitty job to keep YOU away from the door.

I apologize for that, but it needed to be said.