Ever since i started masturbating ive barely touched anything that wasn’t tan and small
edit: really really small were talking that one super hero… you know the almost 50s one i think… hmm atom ant. ye atom ant small
Well that’s the end of THAT…jeez man. LOL.
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said “How do you like that!” and then my mom walked in
Today, my dad got really drunk. When I was about to go to bed, he was just coming out of the bathroom, he was fully naked, I immediately turned away and said “Okay Dad, time for bed”. Thinking that I was my mum, he replied with “That’s right bitch, I’m your daddy, I’ll show you in bed”. FML
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a “finger stick” in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to “watch this brave girl go first.” I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted.
Today, I went to see a fortune teller. She said one of my closest friends will die soon because of me. Frightened I hurried home to avoid meeting anyone I know. At home I found my goldfish floating on it’s back. Apparently I forgot to feed my closest friend for the past 3 days.
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickleing my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face.
Today, I had a job interview at a local business with the owner who was man, and the manager who was a woman. I thought I did pretty well because I heard the manager whisper so, as I was walking out. Then I heard the owner whisper “no fat chicks.”
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels & Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated.
Today, my boyfriend who has been overseas the last four months broke up with me. I sent him a care package two days ago. He’ll get homemade cookies (his mom’s recipe), naughty videos of me and a letter telling him how much I love him in about a week.
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud “boo!” The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went.
John!! Like thissssss :smokin:
whos that in your avy Dr.jesse felipe gonzales hernadez the III
Noel Vermillion from Blaz Blue. Im considering maining her when game comes out.
Ill main her right now ahhhhHH! bizzaaa!
LOL that never gets old!
nor does this…
dont judge me!
you’re going places!
nigga… !?!
wrestles w/ jesse and tyler as they stop me from going for Mr.Sharks throat.
get off me, gett offf meee
Your 2v2 rating never gets old lol
What up john! You and Dillon all over me play that shittttt again. Nigga you already know…
@ Mr. Shark
lol, yeahh, something like a pimp! lol we went 14 and 8 this week…
shiitt im getting weapons next week foshooo…
like thisssss:smokin:
Lol you beast! :encore:
Get dem weapons :razz:
LOL Avi upgrade! Twice the Mario Rape!
Yeah lol I went in there and was like hey dawwwwg i want 2 marios fucking or a new avy
so team tournamnt june 6th? team juan or team jewelman INC. lol
Team Max Hard
ram rod bitch!!!
haha