Absolutely, brother.
And support is so important. Gf had a pretty broken familyā¦ So something that could have been helped at an early age, was basically ignored and worsened.
Finally bit up the courage to go to a counselor my junior year of Uni after failing out of school, working in a cardboard box factory, going back to school and almost failing out of school again.
Iām like the opposite of Sovi3t in that all I had was family no real friends around that time. I always kept my feelings away from them, I never got anything out. I never really opened up to anyone after my friend commit suicide in HS, it was hard for me to trust people after that. Not opening up to people makes it hard to make friends, ya know? As far as family goes Iām the oldest of 4 in a freakishly normal family. Being the oldest of 4 in a normal as fuck American family made me put lots of pressure on myself. I wanted to be the perfect role model for my siblings, but I kept (in my mind) fucking up. Drinking at 15 (stealing dadās yuengling), video games at all hours, smoking rather than going to class, etcā¦ So I always kept a stoic face on for them and never really showed them that I was tearing myself apart on the inside, which obviously is incredibly unhealthy. I never really had suicidal thoughts or at least I never thought of them like that, I always just imagined āgoing awayā and letting my family quit needing to worry about me.
Luckily enough for me all I really needed was just talk. I never wanted meds, though I know theyāve helped my friend so I think theyāre a good thing. I always heard about how slow/hazy they make you and I didnāt want that. I forced myself to get out, talk to people, make friends, tell my parents about how Iām struggling and working out helped a lot.
I still stress myself the fuck out sometimes or feel the black hole of anxiousness but Iāve armed myself with ways to deal with it that arenāt disappearing into video games for 8 hours a night (which is the opposite of ādealing with itā of course).
Talking helps a lot. The stigma with mental health is entirely unwarranted.
If it wasnāt for my gf i would have never sought out help.
Shit hits too close to home. Have massive trust issues from people always screwing me over, even my own family. Its to the point where unless I absolutely am 100% comfortable around you I will pretty much only respond with: Yes, No, uh huh, mmhm, heh, etc.
I used to be one hyper active kid growing up; it pissed off my family so much. Thinking about it now, I might have had ADD but I kind of āgrowā out of it. A bunch of negative shits happened to me back in public school that sorta just straightened me out. I just became conservative and just focused on getting the fuck out of high school with flying colors so I can go to collegeā> earn $$ and all that jazz. Iām happy my parents never gave me any medications. Being poor has its upsides.
Good luck and hope you guys cope with the struggle. Hereās some happy song.
Iām with you 100% on this. I donāt trust many people, and I have been told I reply with no enthusiasm to shit people tell me at work
lol, necro thread
Back in elementary school around 2nd grade, I somehow began to develop a severe case of anger management issues. I donāt know how I began to suffer from that, but it became an incessant problem until 6th grade. However, I didnāt realize that while being given medication, I was (mis)diagnosed with ADHD, and the paperwork made a trail into high school up to my senior year through the IEP system, thus falsely labeling me as a special-needs student. Aside from my anger issues, I never had problems with being hyperactive or paying attention in class, but then again the two can go hand in hand. However, my anger died off long before I came across that realization when speaking with one of my teachers, which left me devastated and humiliated. I never knew what the whole IEP thing was until then, but the overall experience and revelation still plague me a bit.
As of now, I have overcome somewhat of a depression after experiencing my graduation ceremony last month. Iād say that the positive energy was what I needed, and spending time with some of my friends and family afterwards helped. It also eased my nervousness aboutNow, I just need to overcome my anxiety with driving - itās very disconcerting and frustrating approaching 22 and not having a driverās license, but thatās another story. I will admit that as much as an asshat I may seem here, Iām really not like that at in person. My therapist claims I suffer from depression, but I donāt really believe so - I think Iām just a whiny, little shit.
My boss is bi-polar. I genuinely have nothing against her, but sometimes there are moments when her actions and expectations as a store manager really piss me off (some of her actions I donāt believe involve her being bi-polar). Before her leave of abscene for surgery, she would assist in bringing out freight to the sales floor while on her meds, which would slur her speech and as I recall, slightly alter her mental stability. Iām certain thatās a safety hazard.
Sometimes I channel my emotions through Counter-Strike. Not always effective or engaging, itās simple.
I play in an aggressive manner nearly all the time; itās the way to win. As CT on Dust II, I will rush T spawn every time to see how well the rest of those fuckers deal with it.
- FN Five Seven, MP7, and M4A4 are my weapons of choice. I buy grenades whenever I can.
I donāt drive. Iām 33 without a driverās license, never owned a car, etc. Here we have this dumb fucking law that when you first get your license, itās graduated licensing. So you start with a G1, then get a G2, then your full G license. With a G1, you need a G licensed person in the car with you at all times when you drive. Living on my own, without a family, thatās kinda fucking hard.
When I was 16 learning to drive, my dad was a fucking nightmare. Literally just sitting next to me screaming at the top of his lungs, out of false fear (he hadnāt sat shotgun in years, so his perspective freaked him out when he saw himself closer to the side of the road than usual), or out of anger. I literally stopped the car one day, got out, threw the keys at him, and refused to ever drive with him again. I soon moved out on my own around the time I was 17, because the mental abuse at home just got way too out of fucking hand.
In the years since, I could never afford a car, or my money was going towards school and stupidity. Iām kinda at a point now where I NEED to fucking be able to drive to work (I cab or bus there, as is, and itās fucking expensive as fuck). So I now have to figure out how to save up enough money to get a better place to live, learn to drive with little or no help, and learn about cars and buy one. I literally know fuck all about cars. I donāt even really play driving games like Gran Turismo.
Oddly enough,l drive cranes, forklifts, and tractors at work lol.
I wouldnāt bother to either drive or own a car unless it became absolutely necessary for me to do so.
Iāll need to see the cost & benefit before considering a driverās license.
I have my permit, which would be considered a G1 here, so I could practice at anytime. My anxiety came from a car accident at 14 that my mother and I had gotten into. I wasnāt driving, but because my mother and I look alike and that everyone in the area knew each other including the woman we crashed into (who ran the red light), the witnesses informed the police that I was the driver, and the officer I dealt with was a cantankerous token who was hell-bent on having me arrested while making me out to be some form of degenerate. In another words, I let some asshole mold me into feeling as if I was some another young, black man wreacking havoc on the street. I never wanted to drive since, and that proved to be detrimental throughout high school.
It didnāt help that in my sophomore year of high school, had the officer shown up for my case against me, I wouldāve potentially ended up in juvenile detention for a crime I didnāt commit. Junior year was when I faced him again, this time during my motherās case. Even to that day, that man who convinced I was the one driving, and I overheard my mother vehemently defending me (which as of now reminds me that I need to appreciate her a lot more). In the end, we lost the case, and though I didnāt end up in juvie, my āreputationā to everyone in my eye was āanother dumb black kid fucking upā. I was incensed to the point of tears. Nowadays, the authorities thinking itās open season on black men doesnāt comfort me at all. All of it plays a hefty part in my self-esteem, though as of now, my fear is moreso being killed in an accident than facing an officer.
Primarily, I need my license so that I wonāt be a liability to my mother, who I believe between the two of us is genuinely depressed, being a single parent who works her ass off, yet canāt come across a steady job (sheās very competent but to clarify she mainly ends up with temp work), all while dealing with health problems and school. Her always taking up manual labor doesnāt help with her physicality, either. Also, if something (God forbid) happens, I can at least move about on my own trying to stand on my own. Thereās also that I want it so that I wonāt be a liability to friends - it would be nice to not ask people for rides in order to hang out, and being able to pick them up and drive around. Itās also why I donāt want to date - it would be nice to go out and meet people, but Iād rather not be a pain in the ass.
It costs me about 40 bucks each day to get to and from work. Iām also finding I want a pickup truck, so I can haul shit around. I hate when I buy something, and I have to figure out how to get it home. On that note, I fucking hate having to cab or bus to get to friendās places all the time, or carrying groceries home without a vehicle. And itās just plain awkward as fuck to tell people I donāt drive or have a car at my age. Meanwhile I own virtual currency easily worth a vehicle o.0
Iām kinda just scared around learning to use any vehicles, I was awful when I first started using forklifts and cranes, and that shit is mostly driving in a straight line, or with little or no traffic, low speeds, or just extremely short distances. But I really need and want to learn.
How serious is ADD or ADHD?
I may have it, but who knows.
In my case, I actually do have brain damage, which in turn causes my seizures.
My vocabulary is off, since words for me come off as symbols sometimes. Iāve also recently found out that Iāve never seen people as people. I forget the disorder, but it seems like Iāve been see everyone as shapes and what not. I dunno, confusing stuff.
Iām usually hyperactive, and in return I stay active.
Does this effect the way you spend energy? I notice people around my age always complain about coffee and getting tired really quickly. I can still pull all nighters with no issues. I dunno, may be over thinking things.
I dont know what the hell is wrong with me but I can tell you that im borderline fucking nuts.
A co-worker was jokingly telling me that he is going to kill this guy who fucked with his sister, and I spent 20 minutes thinking of a way to do it without getting caught. I eventually came up with spiking his drink at an upcoming party with the LSD that the guy gave his sister, because it wasnt really LSD. It was some really strong other shit and it put her in the hospital. A whole bunch of it and heās done.
The guy is a drug dealer too, so itāll look like he was just a fucking retard about his recreational drugs.
Iāve been noticing my anger issues have been getting a bit out of control lately. I nearly threw a hammer through a window at work earlier. I may be somewhat happier having moved out my dads house, but the damage is done. A few hours every day of psychological torture and inescapable degradation of your personality and everything about you doesnt really do you any favors.
Thereās different measurements of severity.
Only reason why I know this is because I my brother and my cousin are both diagnosed with ADHD.
They wonāt know unless you do dumb shit.
Canada sounding real stupid right now.
I just read this entire thread hoping someone had responded with āBUSTAH WULFā. Disappointing.
you can get a g1, wait 11 months, then get a driving instructor to prepare you for the road test. they can book it, pick you up and take you to the driving centre. runs about $250-$300 for the whole process (assuming 5 lessons). its pricey but at least you wouldnt need to drive with family or friends at any point. after that you can drive by yourself. if highway driving comes naturally to you, you may not need to hire an instructor for the g test. its basically the same as the g2 test but with a highway component.
Word. Iād visit her every day after school to drop off homework so she wouldnāt get expelled or transferred to another school. The days I couldnāt make it out Iād always call her and check or on her at least leave a voice mail. Even on her worse days when she didnāt want to talk to be around anyone I would let her know someone was there for her.
Story of my life.