Not sure if this belongs in FGD, but since it kind of started off for me in SF I figured I should put it here.
I recently had to leave SF alone to focus on my music career, as well as life not permitting me the time to put in the hours required to be competitive in that game. I’m not claiming to be Infiltration or anything, but I was one of the better players in my circle.
But I think I might be TOO competitive to the point where I come off as a dick.
Prime example, one time I was facing my boy at his house in SSF4. He had a stick and I had a 360 pad…I hate 360’s pad and everybody knows this, but he really wanted to play and I had to oblige. I kept dropping combos and messing up and he was winning. It was his first time winning against me and he started talking mad trash and stuff, basically like “If I was really good it wouldn’t matter what kind of controller I had” or some shit like that…and at some point I just snapped. I ended up mopping him 50-18, taunting him right back belittling him and all that. Like I understand talking trash is a part of the game and stuff, but I dunno how sensitive he was to me laughing at him everytime I shut him down (in a matchup he had the advantage in with his Honda vs my Cody).
That’s just one example. I’ve eliminated a different dude in every tournament we’ve entered since we started playing. I’ve had a lot of personal rivalries with a lot of players that don’t talk to me anymore.
I left street fighter alone and started moving on to other things. But tonight, I was bored on my day off and started playing online and was getting almost controller throwing mad! Like I shouldn’t be mad cause I haven’t played in months, but it was to the point where I felt like I wanted to punch a hole in my tv how mad I was at the losses I was taking…
But I’m starting to feel like my super competitiveness is starting to move on to other things, too. I’m trying to figure out ways to deal with it and possibly make it go away. Any advice?
It’s something I’ve been trying to deal with, though. I used to lose a LOT.
Then, I started winning against the people who’d do the same thing to me. Call it picking up bad habits…
When I first started playing SF back in 7th grade, I got my ass beat 72-0…cause I was too hard headed to accept a loss.
Soooooo I played like every weekend for a year till I got good enough to beat everybody I knew…and during that whole time, I got it worse than I do to people now. No need to tell me it’s messed up, I already know. I was just trying to see if it was more common than I thought it was…guess not.
There’s no direct link between being competitive and being a dick. Being competitive means you have an internal drive to improve as a player, level up your game, and prove it by producing consistent results at the upper levels of a bracket.
All the shit-talking stems from ego, which has nothing to do with being competitive. Some people use shit-talking as a way to boost up their self-esteem, but it’s not the ONLY way to accomplish that. Some people thrive in that type of environment but other people don’t. You sort of have to learn to read your audience and decide what’s the best way to conduct yourself. Typically, acting like an asshole isn’t the way to make yourself any friends or even a productive member of your local scene.
Pretty classic case of bloated ego syndrome. Get all self-confident now that you can beat all those mashers you previously were losing to so bad with your ego not taking any of that, so you put in the effort to get better and with it become a huge dick. It’s almost like a Faustian deal for some; your soul for more power. It’s common, it happens in every sector of life where there is competitiveness, not just fighting games. Real shame when it happens because the result usually is just like you said; some people don’t like you anymore, and those some people can be important ones like family. The worst part of it is that a person like that can be completely oblivious about their behavior and when people try to call it out, a person like that just brushes it off as jealosy or the other guy ‘being a scrub’ or stuff like that hence they’re stuck in their dickness so to speak. But you OP, you realize yourself, you realize yout behavior is unacceptable and can hurt people’s feelings, you can still change and make things better.
I have a friend that I talk shit with, but only because he has the capacity to beat me and he responds well to it. The rest of my friends I fairly easily roll over, and I see absolutely no reason to berate somebody who I’m obviously better than at the game. They know it, and I know it… so being a huge douche just makes it less fun for everyone. Instead, in situations like this I try to find positive things to say and keep them encouraged.
If it comes down to a 20-0 pounding that’s fine, but then I’ll try to say something like, “Hey you seem to be getting a lot better at blocking my crossups” or “I really had to start mixing it up to win some of those, my old tricks aren’t working anymore.” The shit talking is more reserved for when it’s 9-9 and we’re doing first to 10.
Put out a mixtape last month that was really popular online and in my local blogosphere. (Shoutouts to @Maxx for the artwork). And I’ve been putting out free music on my soundcloud account that’s accumulated over 60k plays since April.
Been winning open mics locally and working with a BUNCH of producers lately to the point where it’s kind of becoming overwhelming lately. Just overall just doing a bunch of work and building a reputation. Even considering moving to another major city where I’d have more opportunities eventually, cause I’m planning on trying to perform a lot more out of state (just didn’t have the money for travel before since I was doing music full-time without a job for about 6 months).
I’ve also been producing records for a bunch of local acts, too. And engineering for even more people on the side.
Only time I got salty was when a dude found out how to use Deathstroke’s machine gun in Injustice against me and it made destroy my next two opponents in the tournament I was in, I used Deathstroke once and when I was done cutting the dude apart I turned around and said “YEAHHH, THATS HOW YOU USE DEATHSTROKE!” to the guy who had beaten me. But it didnt come off mad, it was just me showing off all the sword options he has. I usually end up laughing when Im losing at the arcade for some reason, Im a beginner, so theres no way Ill beat long time players, its all experience and fun for now.
I get salty easily (sometimes even if I win), especially when I lose. When I get too obnoxious I just stop playing for a while…what I’ve noticed is that you need to stop thinking that you (and only you) deserve to WIN. Remember play for fun and next time you get into ANY match just take it as a chance to LEARN instead of as a chance to WIN.
All men are not created equal, that was sarcasm i’m guessing. I don’t care for shit talking if said individual is a friend of mine. But shit talking in matches fucks up my concentration, now I wear headphones in tourny against certain people.