So then it isn’t just coincidence that spaceships tend to look like dicks…it’s all starting to make sense.
They forgot to add in the Nam’ Vietcong style: having razor blades in the cooters.
I was with you until “fabric”
Change that to “penises” and we’re there!
Pledge 5000 dollars and you’ll get the “Platinum Penis Destroyer Package” which includes all of the above AND your own segment in the movie where you destroy a penis!
When I saw Kromo as thread starter, I expected the first post to have lolis.
I’ve destroyed my penis by peeing & sneezing at the same time…
I have never held hands with a girl and I have tried all of these. 
It’s too bad this Soaring Crimson Dragon Phoenix Nova Explosion Penis Shredder stuff ain’t real. Think about Hokuto no Ken with female leads. Think about the K-ON! cast killing people before they die as the girls struggle in a post-apocalyptic future without cake shops and tea parties.
Number one is actually a great position. Shouldn’t even be on the list lol.
(possibly a gay joke)
I think the idea is that it tries to get you to take the rest of the list seriously.
I’m fairly certain this is how feminist women and their feminized men have sex.
Kenshira slowly walked across the deslotate ruins of Shin Neo Tokyo 2. The dust and dirt swirled about the buckles of her magical combat highheels as the wind whipped her cloak around her well toned body. She paused and the broken glass crunched beneath her. A worn and sun bleached figure of Hatsune Miku poked up from the sand, her trademark leek in hand, and an unfading look of euphoria on her face. “This place was beautiful…once” she thought to herself, a manly tear running down her cheek.
She looked up and saw a beautiful girl, no more than 12, dressed in a simple white dress, her hair in twin tails carrying a small bundle. The look of elation on her face face evaporated as she was suddenly tripped up by one of the many marauding bands of lesbians. The bundle unraveled and smeared across the leader, a swarthy eye-patch girl in a spiked yukata, her school swimsuit tan lines poking out from the various strategic tears that revealed a well toned body. The little girl tried to apologize and scurry away, but this was a particularly thirsty looking group. One of the thugs, wearing a low cut sailor uniform and a spiked kendo helmet grabbed the girl. “Where do you are going…my little koneko chan? You made my onee sama all dirty” “I’m sorry! It was a cake for my Grandma!” The girl looked up and realized it was ruined her massive eyes began to well up and tears streamed down her face. The leaders face lit up with glee and opened her hakama. “Lick it” she commanded “But…but…momma said I should only lick cake off of the person I truly love” This infuriated the lesbian bancho, she pushed the little girl to the ground and forced her bosom in her face. “Ora! Ora! Ora!” She shouted as she tenderly battered the little girl with her ample and peach scented breasts. The little girl gasped for air and inadvertently caught a nipple in her mouth. The surrounding lesbians jeered and fist-pumped.
Kenshira decided she had seen enough. The bandits didn’t even notice. “Oi” she said, unceremoniously knocking her off with a swift kick to the rump. A chorus of “Onee-sama!” and “Ojou-sama!” erupted. One girl, a frosty looking glasses girl with an old timey spiked school uniform, full length skirt and dusk mask shrieked “How dare you do that to Bancho-Onee-Sama!! Who do you think you are!?” “Just a lone wanderer…” Kenshira replied. Four of the girls instant air dashed at her. Catching the first one’s kick by the ankle, she cleaved the leg off at the knee using her elbow. In miliseconds, she spun and drove the the pointy calf bone into the ribs of the second while simultaneously kicking the third in the brain, killing her instantly. The fourth barely had time to regret her decision as the was met with an air to air headbutt, stunning her. Kenshira flipped over her and powerbombed her into a pile of rubble, impaling her on the exposed rebar. The remain mooks fled with terror, leaving only the bancho onee sama.
“Gnununununu…Just…who are you? What is that fighting style!?” Kenshira cast off her cloak, revealing her scant outfit, some shoulder pads, short shorts with the top button open and some bandages barely containing the massive, perpetually jiggling mass of breast meat. Her chest and stomach were adorned with 108 scars, which upon closer inspection held the likeness of each and every pre-cure. "I am Kenshira, master, and sole survivor of Moekuto Shinken. “Ridiculous!” cried the bandit “How can there be any practitioners of the legendary penis exploder fighting style! There haven’t been any penises in hundreds of years, they were all destroyed by an unknown calamity!” A manly tear slowly rolled down Kenshira’s cheek as she began to recollect the painful memories, the thousands of years of penile destruction engraved into every part of her. Memories of the billions of penises destroyed by her lineage gave her slight pause, which the girl on girl rapist took advantage of. Kenshira closed her eyes and exhaled. Then with blinding speed and laser precision, she struck the girl in all 3 of her erogenous pressure zones.
“Ha! Is that all you got! You call that a legendary penis destruction technique?! I barely felt anything” Kenshira opened her eyes and said “Your penis is already destroyed” “But I don’t have a aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh” The bancho cried out as the front of her yukata began to tent, fluids began to rush downward as she struggled to cover her growing shame “No…it can’t be…its…rubbing against meeeeeeaahhhhh!!!” The penis she had grown was full and mighty, the size of a child’s arm, erect and proud, the bancho had a look of pride on her face, that slowly turned to confusion, then fear as the penis began to bubble and writhe. She could not find words to express her horror as she felt it explode a hundred and eight times. She tried to beg for mercy as her vagina began to implode, but it was too late. Within moments, there was nothing but a pool of blood, public hair and a few smoldering chunks of penis.
Kenshira picked up a piece and walked over to the little girl, who was sitting awfully quiet, her legs fidgeting unnaturally. “Here, take this to your Grandmother” Kenshira said, putting the still warm meat in the girls hand. The little girl was delighted. “Thank you so much Onee Sama!..Is it ok if I call you Onee sama?” “Of course, it is” Kenshira patted the girl on the head and began to feel her cheek. “This suppleness…” she thought to herself “What is your name?” “Kotobuki…Azusa Kotobuki” The little girl replied.
A thin stream of drool escaped Kenshira’s mouth, quickly composing herself, she took her other hand and said. "Come with me"
To be continued
Next Week on Fist of the Moe Star “Explode! Penises everywhere!”
there is no way that website is real
number 6 looks interesting
lol at 2.
wtf lol joker.
They forgot the 1 man 1 sandbox treatment…