Hello everyone, welcome to our first night. I apologize for our lateness, but we had some issues of wrestlers attacking my employees! Defying the laws of time, space, and death isn’t cheap on the budget, and I can’t have the best personnel in the world getting injured when I can’t even afford insurance.
With that said, we’re in for some great action tonight! Here alongside me in the rotation is our current guest announcer, Good Ol’ JR, Jim Ross! Are you feeling the action about to unfold tonight?
“Oh yeah, we gonna get some good ol slobberknockers tonight”.
That’s the spirit! Our first match tonight, Santino Marella vs. Dr. Death Steve Williams!
“And boy I’ll tell you, I sure saw one heckuva weird match!”
That’s right, Santino was simply dominated, misspacing his strikes and whips, while Doc D simply Dominated…
“…Like only Big Zeke can!”
Not what I had in mind but sure let’s go with that…
“AND OUT OF NO WHERE, BAH GAWD SANTINO WITH THE COMEBACK!!! I COULD HAVE SWORN HE WAS HULKING UP!”
Pretty sure he wasn’t…
“But not even Santino could conquer death. Nor coul…”
SHHHH DO YOU WANT TO GET US CANCELLED?
“…good point”
Erm anyway, Steve Williams gets the pin after an Oklahoma Stampede in 15:56! You can view the match here [media=youtube]AkJt2pDDrSI[/media]
Next we had Alex Shelley against Mike Awesome. Boy was this match a treat!
“It sure was. Both men going at it, non stop for nearly 20 minutes!”
Not too much to say other than it was great exhibition of professional wrestling, with Shelley scoring a German Suplex Pin at 18:55. Our camera guy will get fired for not recording that one! And did anyone ever see Mike Awesome do a plancha to outside the ring?
Ultimo Dragon vs. Umaga was next on the card. And it was the exact opposite of the first one ey JR?
“Umaga looked like a one legged-blind man in an ass kicking contest!”
Indeed he did. Dragon’s speed and technical prowess overcame Umaga’s power. But Dragon wasn’t even short on power, suplexing Umaga! Dragon took it with a La Magistral roll up in 9:26. It looked so pretty, the crowd was too memorized to chant TNA!
Finally on the card, we had Brock Lesnar vs. his black counterpart, Bobby Lashley.
“Bah gawd this was one helluva match between two of the greatest athletes wrestling has ever seen!”
So good, they don’t even wrestle anymore!
“Lesnar was dominated early on by Lashley, then they took it outside the ring.”
Yup that may have been the turning point, funny that twice, two men used to fighting in Steel Octagons preferred going outside.
“And GOD O MIGHTY what an F-5 Lesnar delivered, looked like it took more out of him!”
But it looks like it was enough, as Lesnar finished it a couple of minutes later with a backbreaker slam. Catch the action here: [media=youtube]aYqvW_YuMmQ[/media]
That’s all the action tonight. Tune in next time, for more legendary wrestling action, same SRK Fire Pro time, same SRK Fire Pro channel. Any parting words JR?
“Get yur ass down ta J.R.'s Family Bar-B-Q and buy mah sauce!”
…k.
