I’m cruising through the game, killing demons handily and laughing in their faces. Scarecrows are mere opposition in my quest, and I taunt them as they lay beaten. However, a yellow lightning bolt streaks around the room. This can only mean one thing…
Blitz
Blitz erupts from the ground, damaging me and laughing manically. His body distorts in unproportional ways, and his tongue is forever Michael Jordan-esque fashion. I awake and immediately freeze up. Despite my vulnerability, the beast refuses to attack. He looks around, aimlessly, almost confused. Its here when I noticed the demon is blind, but as I begin my attack this apparent advantage fades into extinction.
Bltiz jumps to and fro, suddenly launching at me at causing incredibly high damage. I strike with my Red Queen, but the electric current running through his body hurts me ever more. I barely roll out of the way of a super-charged laser, and begin my assault of Charged Blue Rose shots. I jump, dodge, roll; every evasive maneuver in my arsenal while constantly firing. When hope seemed to dim, a crashing sound could be heard.
The shield was gone
Finally, the monster had shown his weakness. I raced in, DT’d engaged, and deliver a Devil Bringer. My fists and feet furiously pounded on the towering foe, and I sent him flying through the air with a powerful uppercut. I repeated my deadly combo twice more, hoping that the demonic creature would keel over from the obvious pain I was dealing. Suddenly, he began to turn red. I thought, this must be a sign of his death. But lo and behold, Blitz was just entering his final form. His shield returned, and he resumed his attacks, but now with ever more power and ferocity.
I knew he had to be weak, and he would soon be nothing but a horrible memory. As Blitz zapped around the room frantically, I was suddenly taken by surprise when he grabbed me. As I lay helpless in his arms, he began to surge with power until finally…
**He exploded. Taking me with him to Hell, so we can continue our confrontation for all time.
**
tl:dr translation: Fuck you Blitz, you annoying son of a bitch.