Since you opened this topic up, I’ll just recount a couple of episodes I had:
Some of you who’ve been around for a while will remember the dream story from one of the story threads, but basically I dreamed I was in high school and school got out early, like 11 AM for some reason. Anyway, this hot dancer chick I knew at the time invited me to her place, and things were getting hot and heavy. She went to the bedroom, and I was about to follow her, but first, I went digging in my bag for a CD I had that would be the PERFECT mood music. No matter how much digging I did, though, I couldn’t find the CD. I never did find it, because I woke up.
What was the music, you ask? Dan’s theme from Alpha 2. What the hell, brain?
Now, to fully appreciate this and the following story, just understand that I have an extended history for cockblocking myself in dreams. 99% of the time, if I have a dream about sex, I’m not the one having it. I once dreamed I was stuck in an office while Sam and Diane from Cheers were having sex on a desk and I was stuck trying to figure out how to leave without them noticing. I didn’t even watch that show. What the hell, brain?
My subconscious capacity for cockblockery is immaculate.
Some time last year I had another dumb one more directly involving video games. In this dream, (marvel 3 alt costume) Morrigan and I were out shopping or some shit because we were homies like that, and she was flirting with me and suggesting we should sleep together. I was like, nah, I like you and you’re fine and all, but I like having my soul and all that. And she was like, but I’m not that kind of succubus, blah blah. Anyway, the gist of it is that Morrigan is a girl friend in dream universe who wants to get frisky and I don’t want to because I’m not trying to get addicted to nether coochie. This is just idle banter while we’re doing whatever the hell it is we’re doing. Later on we grab something to eat and decide to go back to my place to watch a movie.
When we get back to my place, we sit down and start eating, and while we’re watching the movie, I fall asleep. Yes, I fell asleep watching a movie in a dream. Suddenly I woke up and found Morrigan giving me a blowjob. Part of me (guess which part) is like “cool, free blowjob,” and part of me is mad, like, “you just told me you weren’t that kind of succubus, but as soon as I fall asleep, u succ me until i bus.”
So I’m mad enough that I started yelling at her, so much that I woke up to find Morrigan also asleep. Wait, what? So I had a dream…in my dream…that I was awakened from sleep by a blowjob from a fictional succubus. My self-cockblockery runs so deep you apparently have to apply two layers of recursion for me to actually see action. What the hell, brain?
What the hell, brain?