The (un)official masturbation thread

rcaido · 2012-05-17T03:31:36.000Z

This is a family website with children sir. Take this to 4chan or whatever website you go on to swap dick touching stories.

They need to make me a mod so I can close shit like this, seriously.

Instead we get dudes that have been on this site for all of 6 months getting assigned mod duties and banning members for acting like they have been acting for the past ten years.

angelpalm should be a supermod…So can ban some of the worthless mods too…

Ben_Perkins · 2012-05-17T03:35:48.000Z

You all masturbate like me(probably not as effectively though)

He’s got me there; all I usually do is end up with blood everywhere. I knew there was another way!

Hatred_Edge · 2012-05-17T03:36:13.000Z

How you got haters who are hating because they can’t suck their own dick? You know who does that? Cross dressers,gays, and transsexuals. You just outed yourself homie.

angryliberal · 2012-05-17T03:38:54.000Z

Until you masturbate to a picture of your dead sister on the anniversary of her suicide, brought on by you raping her, you need to step up your game.

edit: I can suck my own dick. Actual true story.

deadfrog · 2012-05-17T03:39:40.000Z

I just wanted to check, is this thread still a good place to talk about unofficial masturbation? Because I’m really into that.

Foolinfection · 2012-05-17T03:45:01.000Z

I masturbate. Unofficially.

Lazyjosh2 · 2012-05-17T05:07:13.000Z

trolls masterbate too this thread

BBQ · 2012-05-17T05:54:55.000Z

Is it just me, or is there a sudden increase of stupid threads by people that recently registered? Seriously, some thing or someone opened up the flood gates.

Shintarru · 2012-05-17T06:05:00.000Z

Your avatar and your name makes this thread hilarious. No offense

MILF · 2012-05-17T06:16:02.000Z

:lol:
:lol:

Instead we get dudes that have been on this site for all of 6 months getting assigned mod duties and banning members for acting like they have been acting for the past ten years.

This

kenuran · 2012-05-17T06:43:16.000Z

Close to climax. Stop. Wait 2-3 minutes. Fap again. Repeat at least 3 more times. Powerful discharge.
Close to climax. Apply some cold object to testicles. Powerful discharge.
Do 1. Apply some cold object to testicles. Powerful discharge.

Both can be applied during sex for maximum results.

Thats all I feel like putting up. Take it or leave it

Winkawak · 2012-05-17T06:45:13.000Z

lol i cracked up
when i saw this on top of recently active threads

hybreezy · 2012-05-17T06:45:16.000Z

My fap sessions have been pretty lackluster since that Nini Heart chick stopped posting

The_Killah29 · 2012-05-17T07:07:08.000Z

Autofellatio: Another hard technique to master. Requires lots of stretching when your willy ain’t too big, like me. I’ve been stretching for 5 years and i’m only now managing to suck my own junk. Pretty physically demanding and honestly a bit gross. It feels pretty good but the pain from stretching your back kind of ruins it. I compromise by licking the tip which also feels pretty damn good. Best clean up since you can just blow it all in your mouth and spit it out later. Not as good as getting sucked by a girl but still pretty amazing. 4/5.

goodm0urning · 2012-05-17T07:08:59.000Z

Top tier cookie: chocolate chip

Runners-up: pumpkin, molasses

jedpossum · 2012-05-17T07:16:11.000Z

Crisco

This is better trust me.

RoGE9 · 2012-05-17T07:20:36.000Z

Top tier cookie: chocolate chip

I agree as long as its homemade. Oreo cookies are high tier when it comes to the store bought stuff.

BPDark_Knight21 · 2012-05-17T07:41:07.000Z

http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg7/scaled.php?server=7&filename=abondon.gif&res=landing

Negative-Zer0 · 2012-05-17T08:00:56.000Z

http://rookery9.aviary.com.s3.amazonaws.com/10419500/10419640_4f0d_625x625.jpg

Thia had me DYING/

omg_itz_a_trap · 2012-05-17T08:01:19.000Z

Close to climax. Stop. Wait 2-3 minutes. Fap again. Repeat at least 3 more times. Powerful discharge.

Close to climax. Apply some cold object to testicles. Powerful discharge.

Do 1. Apply some cold object to testicles. Powerful discharge.

Both can be applied during sex for maximum results.

Thats all I feel like putting up. Take it or leave it

I knew about 1 but I never heard about the cold object technique. Gonna try it tonight with some ice cubes, thanks.

Thread title changed to encompass every tactic, including the unofficial ones.