(I’m surprised the old one got closed so suddenly.)
Haha, I just woke up from an awesome nightmare. Ha! “Awesome nightmare” looks even more fucked up than I thought it would be seeing it in print; I guess I should say “interesting nightmare” to better sale the illusion of “sanity”. (For more “sanity”, just pretend like “sale the illusion of” as “show my”.)
Anyway, as soon as I woke (for real; more on this a bit), I realized that it was at least partially caused by that [media=youtube]JhSfjAgm1Tk&feature=related]“Always” in G Major thing I was listening to almost non-stop last night and then was signing in my head as I tried to go sleep. Of course, having listened to Lavender Town in reverse for a while immediately before lying down. The nightmare/dream ended up being weird gestalt of Portal, the aforementioned song, Silent Hill (more specifically Homecoming since that apparently has the [–haha, I just realized the person who kept getting killed in my dream was also name a guy named Alex) or Trilby’s Notes with addition of mercy of permanent, quick death with a “guest appearance” by Samara from The Ring.
Sigh, I’m already getting distracted and I wanted to make this as concise as one of arcticninja’s dream posts:
So, it began by Alex waking up in the beginning cell from Portal, only with the normal version of [media=youtube]FUaKxFjlOpw&feature=related[/media] on the radio instead of “Still Alive”. The other major difference is no Portal Gun and a blue poster one wall that says Portal 2: The Wedding in yellow letters. Apparently the premise of the “game” is that GlaDos wants you to put on a wedding dress before going through the tests…despite being a guy. I guess she’s either devolved into more open cruelty/humilation/torture or is just lonely; maybe both considering that’s how a lot of marriages are anyway.
The actual trouble starts when it comes to putting on the dress since it’s another room, where you’re forced to go even though you don’t have to put on the dress or even can lock yourself in despite GlaDos warning there will be…“consequences”; as usual, she’s vague the first time around before warning, a second time, that she will basically send an onyx unicorn to end you. Since this of course seems like massive bluff, Alex does this anyway since he thinks he can see the outside and tries to break out, only to no avail since the windows are basically beyond bullet-proof and all you have is a wooden chair that’s even flimsier than the wooden door.
Upon failing, even after trying on the dress, Alex finds out he’s trapped in the room. GlaDos notes she’ll get around to punishing you in a week…even though you have no food or water. So he goes over to sit in the corner and wait to pretty much starve to death when, not 10 minutes later, banging on the door starts. Really loud banging. A horn bursts through near the top of the door frame and apparently Alex just covers his head as the rest of the door gives way and the end comes; I guess the onyx unicorn is Chzo or something considering all the screaming. Apparently it’s so terrifying that I wake up within the dream sleep paralyzed and unable to turn around for a while before waking up “for real”…still in the dream.
Damn I hate [url=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/LotusEaterMachine]lotus eater dreams](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WRoIm6AFF8&feature=related[/media) (warning: TVTropes link), especially since nothing ever good happens in mine.
Being the cruel bastard I am, the second time around, I get up to go my still-on computer to Youtube to see what else could happen. Apparently there were five other ways to die (before I woke for real at least), the only one other involves breaking down the door:
[list=1]
[]Some madman, unusually tall but not quite The Prince from Trilby (though I don’t think any of the things have “eyes”), with giant cleaver basically destroys the door and uses two hands to split upon Alex’s head with it. Simple.
[]The usual banging on the door and then something unfurls the door like bloody legs of the Wicked Witch of the East. Alex is stupid enough to crawl up to it and poke it after it stops moving. Nothing. With a shrug, he turns around to crawl back over the corner. He reaches the corner, only to turn around and slump against it already dead, with his eyes gone, instead bloody sockets.
[]An apparent variation on that is being seemingly smart enough to stay in the corner after all the banging and then the unfurling, only for him to realize there’s some over his left shoulder in the wall. At first it seems to look like just an orange blinking light you would find on a computer…until he leans closer, which causes it to subtly swivel and look at him. Too late for him to recoil, this is followed immediately by a white claw, exactly the same color and material as the wall, to come out from wall, crushed Alex’s entire head effortlessly and then drag his body into wall.
[]The usual banging on the door this time, to the point where the door seems like it’s going break after bulging far more than it should be able to and then…nothing. Alex exhales a sigh of a relief and blinks. Blinking appears to a mistake, which is pretty absurd to say since how you are you not eventually going to blink, since when he opens his eyes, this tall-the-room Samara-looking…thing/“woman” with bloody eye-sockets towering in front of him with giant butcher knife. She effortlessly completely bisects him vertically with one hand.
[*]There’s no banging this time. Some tether-like things just slip under the door like snakes and rip his arms off, leaving him there to bleed to death.
[/list]
After that bit of fun, I wake up for real (no “Or did I?” bullshit please), think “wtf” and then go right back to listening to G Major “Always”. Yeah…I’m fucked up like that. (Beat that, arcticninja.)
