been there done that. didn’t help. Pills/anti depressants didn’t help. Im gonna try alcohol next I think. but yeah like Endaeus was saying next topic.
Two things,
Ffirst follow the trail to the source or as close to the source in your past that caused you to feel like you do. If you can’t find it than make one up.
Second, try to identify the flow of emotions inside you whenever you think about that or whenever you find yourself thinking about women and talking to them or whatever situation you can imagine. Where does it originate? Where does it go? How does it really make you feel physically?
I know shit sounds odd but you have to understand this first. We are physical creatures and everything we do always evolves something physically happening inside of us. You just need to become aware of these things first in order to better understand yourself. Do people say that you aren’t in touch with your emotions but what they really mean is that you don’t understand how these physical changes in you affect your behavior.
Next topic, we’re moving past the shitiness that is my non existant love life. if you still wanna “help” me just pm me or something this thread doesn’t need any more of my pathetic crying.
… It was a rhetorical idea, but I guess we can swing it (har, lame pun). Yeah, it’s pretty fucked up - I read about it a good few years ago when I was investigating circumcision (as I’m uncut). I don’t think I could ever handle going through the hassle of getting the foreskin chopped off, especially without some localized anaesthetics going on down there. There was once a “Faces of Death” video a friend threw on that had a bunch of African boys sitting down with their foreskin stretched out… they’d just throw powder on it, pull out machete, and… chop … fuuuuuck that.
You can’t ‘been there/done that’ with psychology… people typically stay in treatment for years, some their entire lives. You have to be willing, you have to not expect immediate results and you have to be consistent. Self-victimization is a symptom of a deeper condition. Anti-depressants mean you saw a psychiatrist, I’m saying a psychologist. Pills are the same thing, you can’t take them and expect to be “better” they only remove the chemical block that might be affecting you… but stopping all treatments because they didn’t “work” won’t help you, getting to the root cause of your social anxiety will. You are victimizing yourself and want sympathy, a psychologist can teach you how to stop doing that. Best of luck to you.
You are the one that needs help, if it’s embarrassing than be embarrassed and then move the fuck on. All these emotions that come and go are fleeting at best and won’t cause the end of your existence as a person although if put in the right situation my be the end of the person that you are so dearly trying to portray.
psychology as a whole is littered with so much bs that it’s not wonder that people have to go through YEARS of so called therapy to get better, and then when something goes wrong they and we blame the person that needed help in the first place? Something is not right with that picture.
I would have just dropped it and moved on, no skin off my back. If she really said that and meant it, then why not just dump him and go to you (after a grace period so shit doesn’t look suspicious)?
Obvious attention-grabber is obvious. 
here, yah go.
Spoiler
http://www.shopatmoxie.com/mm5/graphics/00000001/beercard325.jpg
Hate yourself in secret, love everyone else. Fake it 'til you make it.
Girls are just as shallow as dudes are, trust me.
Lunaid
1589
Chicks being shallow goes way beyond looks just looks though. The point is if you don’t have looks AND you’re a little bitch about life in general? You barely have a chance.
Neesa
1590
Well, yeah. Think we have to just give the pussy cause your punk ass is willing to throw dick at us? Nah. I’m good. If your ass is ugly when I wake up and see you in the morning, I don’t want to be bothered with you. I want to look good on your arm and not like I’m towing around something that came from the bottom of my 4 year old Chucks.
[details=Spoiler]Semi-Update: My BF and I went bed shopping today. God, it was a pain in the ass. He made the chick at Bed Bath & Beyond open up the bed sets to feel the material, ask about all the different pillows for himself and me AND about pillow tops. Jesus, I was getting annoyed. Anyway, towards the end of our bed excursion:
Chick: Did you two just recently get married?
Me: -Flustered and embarrassed as fuck.-
Him: -Smiling.-
Me: One day.
Him: Yeah.
Chick: Awww. How long have you two been together?
Me: Going on four years. Too damn long.
Chick: You two are so cute and so bubbly. It’s so nice to see nowadays.
Us: Thanks.
After that, we spoke further on the subject on our way back to his place. We’re giving ourselves two more years to get our shit together before making that step. Me finishing up with school. Him paying off a huge chunk of his student loans. We’re only turning 24 so, s’all g. However, within that time frame, we do plan on moving into our own place and start moving towards that mark of saying “I do”. Sadly, I’d be disowning myself from my family for awhile, but, it would be worth it in the long run. It’s time I live for me and my life… and stop worrying if my family is gonna flip cause I want to be with the person I love for the rest of my life. Despite if they like him or not. My relationship. My life. Not theirs.
Oh yeah, therapy seems to be going well [for those who know].[/details]
/update
OsgX
1591
Dope to hear, especially the last part.
Neesa
1592
Thanks. BF finally pushed me to get myself back on track cause the depression was getting unbearable for both of us. It was a hurtful push, but the mental slap has helped me nonetheless. And starting therapy is really freeing and joining a new gym together is awesome as well. Can’t wait to feel 120% me again.
/positive!
Right on, sistah. I can be (potentially) the best BF a girl can have, but I gonna have some standards.
Adorable little convo there. :3
But yeah, Preach it girl! Noone can tell anyone what to do.
And pre-congrats on your future wedding plans.
(Won’t ask about the therapy since it’s probably really private.)
[/quote]
Neesa
1594
Exactly. Just because some dude with a lazy eye might have a sparkling personality doesn’t mean I HAVE to date him because he’s a cool person. Just like a dude doesn’t have to date me because my hair isn’t long enough. I’m not gonna boo-hoo over that. Too many people in this damn world for me to cry over that shit.
It was quite unexpected, but, he spoke to the girl as if we were shopping together for stuff. But, he does that. Even in his room at his parents’, he’ll ask my opinion cause I’m there at his house. It was silly but, still made us smile (after I got over being grumpy about taking 30+ minutes to shop). Nevertheless, thank you on the pre-grats. Haha. We actually talked about this and decided on getting married wherever we’re having the honeymoon at. Save some money and headache. Plus, I don’t this his family and my family would be all that great together in one room.
My loud, rowdy, Baptist Black relatives and some Puerto Rican relatives. His loud, rowdy, alcoholic Catholic Italian/Irish relatives. Throw in my mom hating him. Yeah, that sounds like disaster waiting to happen. Then again, I don’t know how serious she was but, she told me earlier in our relationship that, if I were to marry him, she would not attend my wedding or help me out with it.
Oh mom. /eye roll
I won’t go into specifics but, the therapy is for a whole slue of things I’ve been avoiding for years. It just bubbled up and got to a point that I couldn’t control anymore and my depression started controlling me and how I handled my relationship. I’d much rather shape up for the betterment of myself and our relationship than let it tear us apart and fall even further down the rabbit hole, y’know? He’s thinking about doing it to and then doing a couples’ therapy session, if needed. Doing whatever we can to better our relationship so it can continue to be a long, happy and fulfilling one.
Kzoh
1595
Fuck the bullshit, I’m handsome and when the opportunity presents itself I will end up with a fine as all hell black girl with a fat ass and the some of the qualities I’m looking for. I ain’t about that I’ll be alone forever none sense. Fuck that, write down everything negative you think of yourself, then take that paper outside and burn it. Never think that way of yourself again, the law of attraction is real damn it.
thurst
1596
just went back to using condoms 
Lunaid
1597
@Neesa Your parents make me appreciate how lax mine are. They were always really cool with me, but the day I brought home the ex who was a mix of all kinds of shit and they didn’t even bat an eye I knew for sure. I was totally surprised, my dad always struck me as a racist son of a bitch.
Good to hear it’s all going good for you. I kinda wanna punch that bed bath and beyond chick in the throat though. You guys are SO cuteeee!! …
Kzoh
1598
I’m down south and the family members who aren’t really down with interracial couples are still tolerant, weddings are the thing down here. My aunt married a white guy and the only person who didn’t show up was his biological father. His god father came tho, crying and sitting on the front role proud. Put it like this, for the rest of our lives there will always be people who’re anti race mixing. Even parents in interracial unions.
Right on! So fucking true.
I tend to do that with my GF Jess alot too. Be it saying something that makes her blush or offering to or actually buying her something. Like around last X-mas we were just looking around at Seaway Mall and we come across a toy/board game store and she sees this cute puppy Beanie-Ball, and starts going all blushy and fangirl-ish about cuddling it. So she decides to go through the store and while she’s looking around, I go and buy it for her. When I give it to her after I buy it she get’s all wide-eyed and blushy. She then tells me in a not so serious voice that she’s gunna murder me for buying it while at the same time cuddling it throughout the mall. I was just laughing my ass off at how cute she was. XD I tend to do this stuff almost every time I see her. 
And already deciding on the marriage is great. Glad you guys are happy together and I hope it lasts. 
I do hope you get better and figure everything out. And yeah, here’s hoping you and your man have a long happy life togetether. :tup:
All of that reminds me of when I first came here, except I was a much more insufferable case. Either way, it still baffles me how everyone else is pairing up all of a sudden. My best friend (who I met last year) told me his backstory on his ups and downs with romance, and within the next year or two, he gets a girlfriend. Nowadays, I’m just surrounded by couples left and right. It gets irritating after a while.
Now about the things with interracial couples, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s just color. These people act like they never seen a rainbow. See how those colors seem to merge together and no one gets upset?
