1461

confidence is great

along that line of reasoning, confidence improves the quality of every aspect of your life, from family, friends, work, and hobbies, which in turn translates to everyone not just women liking you more.

cause personally i don’t like to hang around negative self deprecating people, it gets really depressing. i guess some people like that, but it seems like those relationships its more about the other person being in complete control of the other with low self esteem. and those aren’t really healthy relationships.

1462

Next time you hit up any chick once you hear anything about her ex. Even if it’s my ex tried to kill me–parry that shit asap into 1 of 2 things.

  1. get off the phone end the convo right there( hello my fault got another call i’ll hit you back)
  2. less refined go right into you and her hanging out that night.

There was no need for you to hear about her ex at all she was setting you up fuck outta here!!
You got the number you punish everytime something like ex comes out her mouth–

1463

I feel so disconnected from the thread. Later guys.

/I’m out

Sent from my iPhone 4S, cause I’m pretentious like that.

1464

What do you guys think is the worse that can come from dating a single mom?

1465

This shit is like a damn hamster wheel, shit comes up over and over again and goes nowhere . I feel like this, if you have to ask that question, don’t fuck with women with children. Because you already have preconceived notions about said women. Don’t waster her or your time.

1466

I don’t have preconceived notions. I just wanna understand the whole negative backlash and stigma that seems to be associated with dating one.

1467

You’re never going to be the number one priority in that woman’s life. The kid is always going to come first. And it’s not even your kid. It’s some other guys kid who may or may not be making appearances every now and then. That’s added drama in a relationship that you gotta decide on if you want to deal with it or not.
The mom might even expect you to pick up the father role for the kid. It’s up to you to decide whether all of that is worth it, or if you’d rather have a ‘fresh start’ with a girl who isn’t a mom.
I’ve dated a couple in the past, and they weren’t even older women, either. They were younger girls that ended up having some dip-shit boyfriend, he got her pregnant, and then he left. Happened to both moms that I dated. On top of that, I’m not a kid person. Hate kids. So not only did I hate kids, but I’d be trying to make moves and the kid would ruin it because they would start crying or want attention or something. Hard to be intimate with someone when a kid is always in the way.

1468

I’ll be outta this thread too, for a bit at least, with my situation out of the way. I cant say Im not a little disappointed, after all that shit, and those girls trying that hard, but it’s for the best for me, and now I take this lesson in earnest. I never learned because it’s never gone this far.

I will leave with an answer to Nini;

This. And…

We are here to procreate, just like other creatures on this earth. Society has skewed our natural instincts a bit, but they still remain, the woman STILL wants the best man to sire her children, and if a different one would be better to actually support them, she would prefer that. A woman still instinctively wants the best for her children. Men, still want to fuck the hottest/most girls they can. This will obviously give them the best looking and/or most children to spread his DNA around. No different than any animal.

Whats that got to do with single mothers? It’s one of the things skewed by modern society. If you are a man, especially without children, and you are raising another man’s child, you are giving one-up to your biological competition. Society may put a different spin on things, but thats exactly what happens. You are supporting his seed, and likely having your chances stopped; since she has the child of her physical attraction, and now wants (you) who was not good enough for that role, to make that child better. We spin that as being a “real man”. Look at the way a Lion handles his business; there is no skewed sense of morals VS instinct. If they are not his cubs, they GTFO, or get killed, or get left to probable death, and he doesnt give a single shit.

So, at least for me, I take it almost back to the most basic level; they arent my kids, so I simply dont give a fuck about them, and YES, it makes me less of a man to use my resources to help the child of another.

Peace out until I have something positive going on.

1469

What makes you attractive and likeable are your qualities and personality traits that other people find appealing, not confidence. It’s simply that a confident person is more likely to get out there and meet more people. It’s not that that the confidence actually makes anyone like him. That depends entirely on whether or not the people find him to be appealing as a person. If someone simply doesn’t find you appealing, then all of the confidence in the world isn’t going to make a difference.

There is no special way to be that makes women like you. Different people find different things to be attractive, and what they find attractive is hardwired into them from the day they’re born. Confident guys get shot down all the time by women who simply aren’t that into them. On the flip side, a girl can think that she has the best body on the planet, but if a guy doesn’t think she’s all that hot, then it doesn’t matter.

1470

Well, I’m still here… But I don’t really have any stories or situation for those guys that are left

1471

Honestly, she hasn’t mentioned her ex since. I took it more as an invitation saying “Hey I’m single and not looking for anything serious”. Hell I’m moving out of state in 2 months. Not looking for anything serious. But deflected any whining is probably a good idea, not really looking to fix anything up.

1472

Confidence IS a personality trait. And an important one, at that. You just said it yourself.
Like I said earlier, you can have all kinds of good traits, but if you don’t have confidence in yourself, sometimes those other traits just aren’t enough.
It’s not that a confident person goes out there and meets people. A confident person isn’t intimidated by an attractive woman. He’s not scared to “screw things up” with her because, deep down, he knows that he doesn’t NEED a girlfriend to be happy. He is already happy.
Confidence isn’t just 1 single thing. Like everyone in this thread has said already, confidence effects everything about a person, not just his abilities to be comfortable around chicks. Women can tell when a man has some level of confidence just by looking at how he carries himself.

EDIT: Just to take what I said a little further, I’ll add this. I’ve always been a pretty good looking guy. Clean cut, took care of myself, had a job, had a car, I had hobbies such as competitive video games and break dancing. I had friends and was not a shut in. I had a good head on my shoulders. But in the girl department, I failed every time. Even girls that liked me AT FIRST, because they were interested in the fact that I break danced or played video games competitively, they would eventually stop talking to me or hanging out. It all came down to self confidence. Something in my life that happened recently changed the way I felt about myself. After that, my success just went up dramatically. Not only was I having a lot more success with women, but I really didn’t care whether I was having success or not, either. It was as plain as day to me. SO that’s why I will pretty much argue this whole confidence thing to death, because I know first hand what it can do for someone.

1473

Damn, haven’t heard much from here in a while.

Weren’t the horrible possibilities concerning this issue already established? Though I’m going to ask something that’s probably never been addressed: how old are these children? Like, are you dating mothers with teenagers or infants or whatever? Not that it matters, though, because you will always come after the child.

1474

The worst thing that can come from dating a woman that already has a child is that you might happen to fall in love and end up raising said child to be as big as an idiot as you yourself are. Seriously, that is the only outcome that could have any lasting effect on this planet. End of story.

1475

Hmm, gotcha. Looks like anything serious with a single mom is a serious no go.

Not really dating as in I just go over to her place, spend the night there, occasional dinner out or movies and that’s about it. Kid is 15 or 16 months old now, hasn’t really been an issue so far considering she’s with her padre half the time.
I’m really not intending to get serious with her, I was just curious about the worst that could happen. And it sounds fucking horrible, don’t want

1476

Anything serious that doesn’t involve your internet service provider and a box of tissues is a no go for most of you. Especially since most of ya’ll are stuck using other peoples advice as either a crutch or as an excuse to not go out and experience your own life. It’s not like anyone is gonna tell you anything you can’t figure out yourself and if something profound does end up being said you can only apply it after you put yourself in a situation to understand it.

1477

Unless you knocked her up and haven’t seen her in a year or two and she came back into your life.

1478

No one is using anything as a crutch. Asking advice from people who have been in a certain situation and have dealt with it is pretty much getting a different perspective on things from other people and not staying limited to your own thoughts and experience which may be non existent. In the end, what you do with that advice is up to you, but at least you have a little something to base yourself on instead of randomly stumbling around in the dark.

Sounds even more like a no go

1479

Ummmm…even if that was the case, why would/should that even be a remote possibility? What self respecting woman would want to be with a man who abandoned her after he knocked her up?
I think I am starting to see where baby momma and daddy issues come from.
Sorry, that was just the most out there response.

Never break up with someone after you make a child.
Never break up via text/im/phone call.
Never just vanish like a thief in the night.
Never inflict lasting damage to a persons life.

I just feel like the more I see relationships, the more people have no problem screwing others over.

Sent using my Evo…not the 3D ish…eff 3D!

1480

I’m not against marriage, I’m just for logic.

Marriage ends in divorce over half of the time, so think of it like this: if you were in a line of people crossing a very busy street with cars constantly going down both lanes, and over half the people didn’t make it, would you be all that excited for your turn?