Around 90% of my female friends are either gay(because they think like me), friends GFs (because I get to know the nice side of them without any of the drama) or exes (because they already know me pretty well). The other ones I’m not even close friends with, just acquaintances. I’m not close to them mainly because I want to bang them out. But I have a GF, so I keep my distance like a responsible young lad.
I’m generally not friends with girls outside of those categories because of their sensitive nature and complete lack of a sense of humor. I’m an upbeat, positive-minded person and I don’t like to be burdened with their drama and whining. I don’t need someone else’s negativity raining on my good mood. I’ve tried my hardest to not be the guy who sits and listens to problems because hearing them from my GF is more than enough.
The more female friends I accumulate, the more negativity I hear and see on a daily basis. My guy friends just seem to keep that kinda stuff to themselves unless it’s serious. Even when they do discuss problems, I can joke around about it to help cheer them up. Females though? They love to air out everything, no matter how minuscule. Not only that, but everything they air out is “SRS BUSINESS” and can’t be turned into something humorous or else you’re labeled as an asshole.
No shots at females in this thread, I’m talking about the ones that I know.
u dont joke wit it… its unavoidablel thus u give them raw reality. it scares the hell out of them an they will pick an choose what they will express to you…
Yall niggas is the relationship OGs fo reals. Holy shit my niggas yall is on point. My few female friends moan about everything so seriously. Like me and my boys bitch about shit on the daily, but we ALWAYS joke about it. I mean if life is so down and out all the time with no silver lining then wuts the fucking point? I’m at a point where I only chill with chicks that chill with dudes since they end up picking up dude habits/mannerisms and don’t air out every little grievance. But even they tend drone on and on about the dumbest shit. I mean I was chillin with my ex last night and this chick would not SHUT THE FUCK UP about her outfit that she bought and her make-up and shit. I wanted to blow my fucking brains out. Then she was BAWWWWWWWWWWWWING about how her boss plays favorites. Now granted we all need a good whine about the job every now and then but this crazy gurl was sheddin tears over this shit.
I’m in the car like…o…yeah…word? man dats ass…yeah dats fucked up right there man. Just driving the car and only half listening while doing the
And of course she blacked on me when I tried to joke about it. Fuckin nonsense I swear.
what is raw reality? telling somebody the truth about a situation and not sugar coating it? because I do that all the time and people say I’m too harsh.
see with our boys we joke first… then get into the reality of the situation so our boy can think better
with women… an they know this… you have to be direct… then give them a slight lighthearted joke to lighten up the situation
i totally understand the ‘harsh’ title… but ive gotten ‘cold’ ‘emotionless’ an ‘sadistic’… but u know the funny thing after all those titles:
they still come an respect every word that comes out my mouth
an with the ladies i hear the petty shyt an tell them its petty… then make them laugh at** themselves **about how petty it is. the real deal complaints/issue i dont. i answer… show the positives/negatives an thats it… a laugh or joke will come later. we as men tend to try to make a chicks situation comparable to the homie situation an we end up getting them pissed cause they havent had that moment to KNOW when we are jokin or bein serious. u set a standard an u dont worry about that… in fact youll notice a difference in how they even word the question or approach u about a complaint/issue
this pre-med chick I know once was startin’ to complain to me about how she was about to get a B in her physics class. like, “This sucksss I’m gonna fail! I wish I didn’t have to take this class. What am I gonna do with a B? Med school’s not gonna like this :(”
my reaction was: “Word? a B? yea I’d be emo too. gettin’ only a little above average, not failing a class. Shiett kiss med school goodbye girl, aint no patient tryna see a doctor who can’t do standard projectile motion problems, or calculate the torque of somethin’. At the hospital, it’s either Harvard status A+ or bust.”/sarcasm
she knew I was joking. she doesn’t complain so much about grades anymore, to me at least. (EDIT:)granted she’s pre-med, it’s sorta ok to complain about grades every once in a while, but it doesn’t change that I could list a number of dudes who was just tryin’ to pass that same class she was gonna get a B in, and they weren’t trippin’ nearly as much.
With broads, you set a standard/draw a line by being totally frank. This breaks rapport. Then you “ease the blow” by cracking a joke about the situation immediately afterward, to rebuild/recover the broken rapport. The joke lightens the situation up, but the words that came before the joke will stay in the bird’s mind, and she will remember it when she comes to you next time with a problem to talk/complain about.
Doesn’t only work with this situation. Even when flirting, you let homegirl know what’s up, then you “soften the impact” with a joke. Something like “You’re fucking adorable, I could fall in love with you. Too bad you’re such a dork.” You hook her with the initial statement, then release the hook with a joke/dig. Broads love those kind of back-handed comments, from my experiences.
Ok bare with me on this… so what if a female has the qualities of someone you enjoy talking to? Is it still wrong to just be friends with them? Like if a female has the personality traits of someone you like to speak with, is it wrong to be friends with them without any physical relations? Some of my friends think there’s nothing wrong with being friends with women since they sometimes needs a “females pov” on situations. I can think of one girl I talk to that I would consider a friend but I’m not trying to get with her (not saying I would turn it down if the opp arised but I wouldn’t pursue it).
It’s not wrong to be friends with a bird, so long as that’s what you really want.
I personally try to legitimately befriend super hot chicks that other guys would kill to smash, because birds of a feather flock together. You’re sacrificing the chance to hit that, but in exchange, you have access to all of her hot friends in her social circle. From then on it’s shooting fish in a barrel because once the friends know that you’ve got the okay from homegirl and are cool, all barriers are gone.
Plus it feels good knowing that you basically had the bearings to control your urges and FZ a super hot chick dudes would kill for. It looks good, too.
You will not be attracted to every woman out there. There will be some that come along that won’t tickle your sexual fancy, but they’re great company and you’ll enjoy being around them. It’s not wrong to befriend someone like that just because they’re of the opposite sex.
But it’s not conscious (for the most part) to magnify and just, as you guys said, “whine” about everything. Sadly, it’s how we were designed. Emotional creatures. Logic comes after (some of the time). But, I can only speak for myself. Depends on the person, that how I’ll vent.
Also, I bitch about my grades sometimes. Especially if I got just one wrong. Something about getting a 97 drives me nuts. Don’t know why it bugs me, but it just does. Other than that, I’m happy to maintain a B or higher in my classes. Considering I slack off like nobody’s business.
I’m really starting to question how I sound to my boyfriend now… Thanks a lot, fellas.
:lol:
But I agree with SWBeta. I’ve been friends with dudes that I had no interest in whatsoever. They were just there. That’s it. Nothing more. Nothing less. I had guy friends that didn’t want to bang me like an Arabian drum. It was just mutual respect and common interest. I tend to be looked at as “one of the guys”. Or so I’ve been told. Nothing wrong with that. Just means one less person to tell “No”.
I’ve been on the pros and the cons side of this method.
the con side:
that’s what I did with this one girl I used to kick it with a lot. technically I was and was not tryin’ to get at her, but regardless that’s what everybody said and thought. and by ‘said’ I mean they str8 up said it out loud in a room full of ppl including me and the girl.
friend1: "Aye stop flirtin’ already take her out to dinner!"
friend2: "Yea you guys get a room, you both like each other obviously so do something!"
me (thinking): ahh fuck
in reality I already had my eye on one of her friends, but shit got unstable. the girl I was actually aimin’ for is wayyy too close to the girl who I befriended, and the fact that ppl think I led her on makes shit worse. I slowly overcame that wall of bullshit, but unfortunately that landed me in another dead end situation.
I’ll take the blame for possibly doing too much, but still: be careful not to go in too hard on the “friendship” cuz it’s possible for this method to backfire with misinterpretations aplenty.
pros side:
I know a model, she knows hot model friends. magic happens a couple times :smokin:
conclusion: yes, it is worth befriending hot girls to get to their hot friends if you know what you’re doing.
EDIT: I thought I should make an edit to this post, cuz the word model entails a lot. the girl who is my friend, is not one of those famous models like Victoria’s secret or nothin’. if you’ve ever been to a school where there’s a lot of asians, and a lot of asian girls, it’s possible that you’ve ran into a student who is an asian model. this asian model gets photos taken of her and is essentially an “intern” model, or model in training. the models I mentioned in my post are not all “ZOMFG HOT MODELS ARE HOT”, but they look good enough to be on a billboard, apparently. just wanted to point that out.
So how does one avoid delusion when an exceptionally attractive woman (this level) seems to take an unlikely interest in you for no apparent reason? Basically where she doesn’t seem to take any interest in talking to any other guy in her vicinity even though they’re really really eager to? Is there a subtle way of finding out if there’s something more than a standard “guy-friend” route without the awkwardly direct approach?
Hey I have a question for you guys. OK, this is going to sound bad but it honestly for a friend. A friend came to me two days ago, and told me something kind of surprising. That he has fucking erection issues. He did not know whom to talk with, and he wanted a friend to talk to. He figured since I am the mature one of the group I would not give him shit about it.
Kind of made me nervous because I am 32, and he is only 28. So, got me thinking my shit may be going soon. FUUUUUUUUUUuuuuu.
OK, back to his issues. I personally told him to just go to the doctor, and be done with it. He is fucking ashamed to do that, and wants something over the counter. I think most of those are complete bullshit. I may be wrong though.
Anyone here know what to tell this dude? I told him go to the doctor. Should I just bug him on that, is there a decent over the counter crap to get that he can try, or should I just point and laugh at him. He seriously was considering buying something from those online pharmacies, but I finally convinced him against that noise.
I did not want to ask any of my friends in real life because he told me in confidence. Though Google is failing me, and just giving me crap info about online pharmacies. Any ideas? I personally think he is being a dumbshit for not seeing a doctor immediately.
you clown his ass an let him know to be a FUCKING MAN an go to the doctor… i use to be afraid to ask shyt to my doc (why i cant seem to satisfy my urge sometimes) but eventually u come to terms about things an keep it moving. its like us men wait to jesus/allah/buddah/whomever is ya god, is sittin on the side of the bed havin a convo wit ya…
It’s cool. I just had a period of self-rationalization. It’s a high school perspective.
Basically other dudes see her talking to me and keep telling me that she’s “interested” because she doesn’t talk to them, I tell them we’re just talking. They say they try to talk to her but she kinda shrugs them off (probably because they sound patronizing and weasely), so them seeing me having a casual convo makes them think I’m “in”.
And after a while their notion was getting to my subconscious and I was second-guessing myself.
See thats my thing with the whole male friends. The last girl i was with had some male friends and a few female friends but she wasn’t close to them. Hell her ex actually called and she met up with him just cause she hadn’t seen him awhile. Naturally i was wondering why she even entertained his idea and went to see him. But anyways those female friends weren’t really “friends”. Her stance is that she can’t really get along with other females mainly because there was always something stupid coming between them. I swear i never knew female have it hard when trying to make friends with other females.
when i meet a chick that i legitimately enjoy talking to i try to lock it down. as i said before (i think?), i’m not trying to talk to broads that aren’t attractive (to me) in the first place so if i run into a chick that i’m into physically AND she has some great conversation then i’m trying to see what’s good with that vag and if she got a man.
that said if it doesn’t work out, i guess we could be friends but the only real female friends i have are ones i made back in high school, failed to fuck and eventually just became cool with or met through their boyfriend.
i was talking to my boy, and i really think it boils down to how do you talk to girls. like i personally don’t talk to chicks the same way i speak to guys, anybody that knows me personally notices that i put my personality at like 3-4 around chicks most of the time (lots of holding my tongue and being self-deprecating) and it’s partially bcuz i think you should treat heaux nice…which is precisely why i can’t be friends with them bcuz i’m not nice to my friends at all lol.
I’m gonna fail! I wish I didn’t have to take this class. What am I gonna do with a B? Med school’s not gonna like this :(”
