I miss this thread. Anything new and exciting happen to anyone lately?
I’ve been behaving myself the last couple of months, but we’re supposed to be heading to Amsterdam in June, so…
Bumping this thread for great justice.
And to share the Stuckey’s Adventures compilation from the long lost CST3.
Enjoy.
I don’t have anymore crazy stories.
Nice, Cyntalon. I’ll have to dredge the dank recesses of my mind, but I see if I can find some crazy stories that I haven’t told yet. Or, post some once they happen.
This thread needs a revival. @Cyntalon, if possible can you post a link to the Internet Archive of the old thread, even if it’s incomplete?
It may not be super crazy to you all, but to me it was.
A few years ago, I was in Goldsboro , NC for my Psychiatry clinical rotations. It was a standard six week rotation and I was assigned to the chronic female wing of the hospital.
Most of the patients were ok. A few had outbursts, but nothing major.
One day a new patient was admitted to our wing. She was 6ft and looked like Michael Strahan the NFL player. She had serious delusions.
She claimed she “came on a bus from Japan to marry Montell Williams.” My doctor prescribed her some atypical antipsychotics and I assumed nothing else.
Later I was talking to another patient in an activity room and I see “strahan” approaching from the side slowly. I didnt pay any attention , but out of the blue, She bends down and kisses me on the lips. My mind was like an alarm blaring!! WTF!!
I didnt want to attack or get in trouble(cameras were everywhere). I went to the nurses station and told them about it and they told me to to move to the lobby area and continue with my original atient. I continue and then “Strahan” come over and says,
**" Would you like to touch my pussy? **
Thankfully she didnt do anything else.
The next day at the morning review, the nurses and my doctor were going over the Patients activities from the previous day.
He asked me about “strahan” and I was a little nervous that he would reprimand me or give me a bad grade.
I told him and he looks at me very seriously, then starts cracking up for like 5 minutes.
He looks like Sam L. Jackson so it was kind of bizarre.
https://web.archive.org/web/20080106062733/http://forums.shoryuken.com/showthread.php?t=111437
https://web.archive.org/web/20080106062738/http://forums.shoryuken.com/showthread.php?t=111437&page=2
https://web.archive.org/web/20080106062743/http://forums.shoryuken.com/showthread.php?t=111437&page=3
Sadly, that’s all there is.
LOL Dangerous J the best part of that story was Sam Jackson.
Cyntalon, thanks, man!
edit ~ LOL it had my grandpa’s ghost bull story in it. My dad just re told that story to me recently and I been meaning to post it again. I might repost it along with the story of my uncle the sniper.
Wow… I didn’t think this thread would ever get noticed again.
I’m sure that most of the originators (Stuckey, Shaft Agent and myself) have either grown up, got married or are too busy with their real lives to relay their stories now. If it sticks around though, I’ll contribute when I can.
However, to be fair, there is a whole new generation of SRKers here who must have experienced their own life breaking events.
Its been almost a decade since the OG Crazy Story Thread, so you guys should definitely carry it forward!
You sir, are the FUCKING man!
lmao I don’t think Shaft is any of those things…
not really a Crazy Story™ but still it’s a story I don’t tell often to many people. The story somewhat changes depending on how I remember it, considering most of it I’ve been told through stories and I was absolutely fucking wrecked the entire time, so my recollection is spotty, at best.
Back when I was 15 or 16, I got arrested for public intoxication. I used to be friends with the sons and daughters of the dude who owns a significant meat franchise (and a fuckton of farms and slaughterhouses). Dunno if you guys have them in the states, or even how far in Canada they stretch, but I’ve seen tons of their shops all over here. I ass fucked their daughter back when I was in my early teens, but that’s another fun story for another time. Minor edit: a quick google tells me they tried to branch out into the states a few years ago but gave up pretty quick. They’re #1 in Canada though, for frozen food or meat or some shit.
Anywho, they live up in this hick town called Dunville, which hosts a music festival every year in some farmers field. Tons of decent b-tier bands (usually local or canadian acts that made it big in the US…another big local one is the Cayuga Speedway, which Tragically Hip sing about, and they play every year), and everybody just gets shitfaced for a few days and camps out. Never been there before, as it was more for the older crowd, but I managed to get some wristbands for that weekend, and convinced my folks I was going to sleep over at a friend’s place.
At this point in my life, I hadn’t really drank much. Drank during holidays and celebrations, and snuck booze from my parents crazy sick bar occasionally, but never really just got drunk for a day (although I got shitfaced one Christmas when I was like 10 and got an SNES, zonked out under the tree). So upon arriving at this festival, and we had brought a 60 of vodka, and a lot of iced tea. My dumbass mixes half a giant glass of vodka, with iced tea. I had no idea how strong booze was, aside from doing shots occasionally while growing up, or swigs from bottles. So I thought it normally was that strong. Finished a few glasses like this (not 1 gallon, like certain bullshit liar SRK members claim), and was incredibly fucked up. Dancing around like an idiot, loving everything, all that typical drunken nonsense. I should also add that at that age, I had really long hair, wore Cannibal Corpse and Deicide and Slayer shirts, I was really into the whole Death Metal thing. And Dunville is pretty much bible belt farm country.
I can’t even remember what band was playing when ‘the shit’ went down, but I think it was STP or Barenaked Ladies or Tragically Hip or Finger Eleven aka Rainbow Butt Monkeys or something retarded like that. This would have been like 96 or 97. How sad some of you shoulda-been-a-facial’s weren’t even swimming around in your daddies nutsack yet.
So me and my buddies, drunk as ever loving fuck, get up to the crowd gathered at the stage. Some guys girlfriend didn’t like me, so she and her bf decide to start fucking with me. Since I had long hair, they start just fucking yanking the shit out of my hair while I’m listening to the band. I’d look behind me to see who did it, but fuck me it’s like a thousand people crammed together. So after awhile, my buddies start seeing this shit, and they’re kinda laughing, cuz it’s mostly the chick just yanking my fucking hair. Eventually the BF decides to show her how it’s done, and I actually catch him grabbing my hair. Fucker yanks as hard as possible and yanks me to the fucking ground. Fuck that nonsense. My buddies come rushing in and I get up ready to just knock his fucking head off, and wind up, and proceed to drunkenly punch his bitch right in the fucking face. Swear to God I didn’t mean to do it, but got damn, she got a fistful of knuckles straight to the face. Everybody who saw it fortunately knew I was getting up and ready to fuck up the guy, and not her, and that I was drunk, so they were more shocked it happened, then thinking I knocked out a broad.
My buddies came and beat the living fuck out of the boyfriend (my one buddy went on to be a cornerback for a university in the US who will remain nameless in this story). Cops came in and busted my drunk and stunned/shocked ass, while they ran away after they pummeled the dummy hair yanker. I remember them walking me to a cop car saying they wouldn’t press charges, and I just needed to sit down. I remember the cop seat being really comfy. And I remember instinctively only speaking French to ensure the English speaking cops wouldn’t bother getting any info from me. I didn’t bring ID with me either, because I’m not an idiot. Well, that could be argued, I suppose.
Woke up in a jail cell (for what it’s worth, I wasn’t even in a police jail cell, they put me in an RCMP jail cell) with a toilet full of puke, and it STUNK. Tried to flush it, but it didn’t work. Yelled at some guard walking by about no water in my cell, and he informs me I kept splashing the guards with water so they turned off my water. Guard asks me how I can speak english now. Apparently they had to bring in an interpreter to come talk to me, thinking I was from Quebec and knew no english. Guard gets my info, and since I was underage, I changed my date of birth. Except math didn’t work too much, and I gave him a date that put me at 18 years old (still one year underage). Fucker wrote me up a ticket for public intoxication, and proceeded to kick me out of the jail. I ask him where I am, and how to get back to where I was, since I’ve never been in the city before that weekend. He informs me to go down a few blocks and ‘walk across the bridge, you can’t miss it’. I follow his directions and come to two mother fucking bridges going pretty significantly different directions.
Fuck it, I pick one, and (STILL QUITE DRUNK I SHOULD ADD AT THIS POINT) proceed to try to figure out somewhere to go. I get across the bridge, and really need to piss, so I just start going. Just as I finish, I hear a voice asking me “what the fuck do you think you’re doing?” I tuck my dick in, don’t bother zipping cuz that would be obvious, and pull my shirt down a little over my exposed undies in one fluid motion, and turn around to see a brand new fucking cop staring at me from his cruiser. Fuck this mother fucking weekend. I actually got lucky, and explained my situation perfectly to him, and he was nice enough to just gimme a ride (in the back obviously) back to the festival. I found my buddies van, they’re passed out inside, I wake em up, and they ask where I was, I tell them jail, and they just laughed and asked “no really, where were you.” Threw the ticket in their faces and informed them they would obviously be paying for it.
We eventually went home, I snuck past my parents and just stayed in my room and passed right the fuck out at like 6pm. To this day they dunno about any of that shit, and considering the trivial shit they have lost their minds over, I would not survive them finding out about that.
So yeah, that happened.
Oddly enough, my biggest annoyance at that entire weekend was getting a ticket for public intoxication at an event where everybody was drunk and openly drinking.
edit: we really should have started a new Crazy Story thread.
LOL @ DMX story.