Goal: quit fucking smoking! seriously, it’s been like 20+ years now
Method: if any of you see me smoking ever, you get one free nut punch on me.
Careful with that method…if you’re serious I may just deliver… Falconnnnn…
Updated my post towards goals. Things are going fairly well! Consistency with meds/treatments has been going great. I’m just about 90% of where I want to be as far as consistency goes. As for applying for jobs, I had an interview which went VERY well last Friday and I will be speaking with the employer later this week to see if my skills fit the position (read, wait to see if hired or not). We’ll see how that goes, however I will need to apply to jobs more often. For this week a minor goal I have is to set up my resume with monster.com like Dugg had suggested.
I also added a few goals to the list that I’ve been thinking of recently. They are:
- Purchase a new wardrobe
- Read/study more often
- Post a blog every 3 days
Purchasing a new wardrobe obviously doesn’t happen over night, and it can get pretty expensive pretty quickly. Reading/studying more often refers to pushing myself into a more productive mindset rather than just being unemployed and on the computer for the majority of the day. Lastly the “posting a blog” refers to keeping my websitein check. By posting a blog every other 3 days, I’ll keep interested in making posts and continuing to learn more about the “blogosphere”… something I’m actually very interested in.
Later on in the week, I wanted to drop a bit of knowledge on INTERVIEWS and my experience with them. I’ve recently had a couple interviews within the past month and it’s definitely something that people need to be aware of how to do well in order to land a job. So later in the week, I was going to do a small write up of how to interview well, tips on how to “sell yourself” during the interview process, how to answer the age old question of “do you have any questions for me?”, and all that stuff. Anyways, I hope people are making progress!
Let’s see, I have a ton of room for improvement so where to start.
-Go back to school: Get started on getting a degree which will help me in the future.
-Read more: Hit myself with some knowledge.
-Find a Mon-Fri job: I’ve never had a Mon-Fri job, so I’d like to experience what the regular schedule of what everyone else gets to appreciate as a normal weekend.
-Buy some dress clothes: Basically the T-shirt/Hoodie/Jeans combo can only be played out for so long. I’d like to have the option to looking nice.
-Work out regularly: Get back to where I used to be conditioning wise.
-Work on my side project (web site): This is something I’ve work-shopped a lot about, but will require time/money, and only one of them I have at the moment.
-Draw more napkin art (as well as other kinds): This is a no brainer for the napkin art, but I’d like to get into more freehand drawings instead.
-Fix my car: Get rid of the BS which has caused me so much trouble as of late.
-Stick to a healthy/strict diet: Quit smoking and all that included.
-Reducing the amount I play video games: Planning to quit in the fall, but before then, I’d like to find another hobby which will be much less involved.
That’s about it.
Lots of goals Jared, pick 1 or 2 and then list how you plan to achieve…then execute! Otherwise that list is likely to overwhelm. Good shit though sir.
Went out to the bar last night. Wow. It was overwhelming in a way I was not preparing myself for. I guess I didn’t realize how attractive of an individual I am? I got hit on soooo much, it was super embarrassing. My mohawk was the icebreaker for everyone else to talk to me, which… works… I guess. Hahahah this guy I met who was trying desperately to get me to kiss him all night would step in and be my pretend-boyfriend when he could tell I was way awkward and didn’t know how to like… end the conversation I was having? I feel like I need to wear a shirt that says NOT SINGLE. Not that that would help.
Like when I would leave the room my friend was in, she said every time a handful of guys would be like ‘omg whoz ur friend??’ and tryin’ to get the lowdown. Hahaha, god damnit. I’m still embarrassed just thinking about it. I guess it’s good to be pushed out of my comfort zone, though. It was just unexpected.
Braggart. And what does this have to do with self improvement? Unless you’re talking about improving your choice of attire.
Because I’m trying to go out to social settings and be social, silly. I’m trying to tackle social anxiety. You didn’t even read my posts you’re just trying to hate. :nono: I don’t mean to brag, it was just a very challenging social experience for me. Everyone at bars keeps pointing out how shy I am and it just makes me more embarrassed and self-conscious. I thought I would go and have a few random conversations and leave it at that but I was approached way more than I expected. I’m new to this whole bar thing, it’s weird. It’s weird not being single and having all these attractive guys flirting with me. :X People kept offering to buy me drinks and I don’t wanna say no to free drinks but I don’t wanna give the wrong impression.
So I just meant to say that I am tackling difficult social situations and it feels nice.
That’s an awesome update Elias. Glad to hear that your actually going out and putting yourself in those situations. It is really awkward at first because you are basically just doing putting yourself out there without any real idea about what to do. It takes awhile, but eventually you start to feel comfortable and realize that the right thing to do is just be yourself. People aren’t expecting anything in particular from you. They just genuinely want to hear what YOU have to say.
GOALS
Finances
By next year i want to have at least $50,000 in my savings
In five years i want to have at least $300,000
In 10 years buy a dream home
In 15 years retire
Family
Spend more time with my kids
Appreciate the asian wife more
Gaming
Try to enjoy SSIV
Be top Gief in HDR(online)
Try to do gatherings
Myself
Be less anti-social
Get back to the gym
Finances - I will get my business in about 2 months. I need to make sure to save up & not spend on stupid shit. My income should pay for the bills & whatever is leftover should go straight to savings account. We should be able to save up about $6,500 per month
Family - On Saturday i should take my kid to the park or to Chuck E Cheese instead of just playing videogames all day. Make sure to read to her more. As for the asian wife, i take her for granted most of the time. I should help clean around the house more & maybe take her out for dinner…
Gaming - Hopefully SSIV will be good, i will probably like it cuz it will have player rooms this time. I need to like this as im not sure how long HDR will last once the new systems come out. I dont want to stop playing fighting games.
As for being the top Gief in HDR, i need to start training more & play daily instead of just the weekends. Last month Snakeeyze(top US gief online IMO) he was killing me…After playing him consistently i have more confident & experience & been rolling pass a lot of players i used to have trouble with. I dont fear top HOnda players anymore & i hope by next month i can break even with Snakeeyze…
Myself- I need to be more social…Im usually to quiet & takes time for me warm up to people. My asian wife is antisocial too, that’s why we never have people over our house. I need a lot of work on this, any tips?
I need to get back to LA Fitness, i’ve gain about 30+lbs in 4 months…Im just wasting my monthly membership & im just getting fatter & fatter. Once my business starts up i have to make sure i go to the gym at least once every other day to start. I used to go 5x a week until i hurt my back, then my back healed…Then i got my thumb dislocated & trying to start up my business has been time consuming. No more excuses, get back into that gym!
That’s it for now
My goal:
- Weigh 190lbs, with 8% body fat by summer of 2010. I actually picked Evo 2010 as my goal date, haha!
How I am trying to achieve it:
I’ve been going to the gym off and on for 15 years trying to gain weight. I’ve been able to gain mass in peaks, but usually plateau and then drop off. In september I decided I wanted to really get serious and so I signed up for a personal trainer. I found that my main problem was that I simply didn’t eat enough. Part of this is my gaming habits – I’ll be playing a game (street fighter or other) and think I should eat, but defer eating. I’ve been making an effort to eat more. I now have a rule, which is “food > anything”. So if I feel hungry I make an effort to stop and eat first, before resuming what I’m doing. Exercise wise, I’ve been training 3 days a week for 1 hour each session. Except January, where I went 5 times a week (because I was switching jobs and had to find a new trainer, so went with 2 trainers, my old one in Bellevue and new on in Seattle). I made pretty big gains in January, so I will think about upping to 5 times a week.
Talking with my trainer, I should try to gain weight until April, at which point I should then focus on losing fat. So right now I’m trying to focus on weight gain.
Progress so far:
End of Sept:
Weight: 180lbs
Fat %: 19
End of Oct:
Weight: 190lbs
Fat %: 19
End of Nov:
Weight: 193.5 lbs
Fat %: 20.5
End of Dec:
Weight: 194.5 lbs
Fat %: 22
End of Jan:
Weight: 203.5 lbs
Fat %: 22
This is pretty good progress. I’ve gained 23 lbs in four months. Fat % has gone up, but not too bad (although I shouldn’t let it get above 22%). It’s hard for me to look at myself and see a difference, but at this point my friends and coworkers have noticed and made comments, which is nice evidence that I’m starting to look different.
I’ve also noticed fitness benefits. I went snowboarding last weekend. In past years, I started to get tired after 4-5 runs. This time, although my legs and back were still tired, I was only briefly tired during the run, but would get my energy back during the lift. I had good energy the entire day. My friends who were in their twenties were all talking about how they were ready to go home, but I was totally full of energy and ready to do more. So I’m definitely getting better stamina, which is nice.
Brent, you are right. I should post in here. I dont wanna be alone in my successes or failures in general anymore.
Goal - to have my own apartment
Current - sleeping on family’s couch
Word. And if they don’t, it’s not hard for me to tell. Like this guy that’s… pretty obviously just trying to seduce me. I feel like I should keep stringing him along because it’s pathetically amusing. I gave him the lowdown from the moment we met - I’m in a committed relationship, a kiss is intimate and outside my boundaries tongue or not (:lol: fuggin’ gays, man), and he’s getting nothing out of me… So actually now that I think about it, maybe it’s kind of degrading.
I told him I would text him today, so I did, because he wants to be friends. He amused me and pushed me out of my comfort zone (which is good for me right now), so I figure what the heck, eh? But his replies are quite possibly the most boring texts ever and it only took like 5 texts to be like “fun when are we hanging out” after such riveting texts as, “Hey” / “What’s up” / “Fun.” Yyyyeah. 
Lemme get right on that. I didn’t even respond to that text in hopes that he will be as butthurt as when I wouldn’t kiss him. What a character. He’s lucky I even let him flirt with me and didn’t punch him in the tit for touching my chest hair too much (man, don’t ask 
).
It’s weird 'cause like… I’m down to be the guy’s friend, I would be like hey we’re at the bar come drink with us, but I now realize that it’s not gonna happen without him giving me “let’s make out” eye contact (awkward!) all the time and that sort of thing. He at least repays me by so far being my fake boyfriend when guys approach me and I am obviously uncomfortable and don’t know what to do - he saved me like 3 times that night at the bar. I’m sure I should/will learn how to deal with people in that situation myself but it was nice to have him just step in and be a bitch to them before I could get past the “uhhhh so this is awkward what do I do” thought.
Man, like, I’m sure this is the same for anyone attracted to anyone, but I feel like it is especially prominent/obvious with us gay guys that when we make eye contact there’s no hiding any attraction. It’s probably just guys especially in general, so you get guy + guy and it’s that much more obvious. Maybe girls aren’t more discreet/well-hidden about it, I don’t know. Anyway, people feed off that and like I feel like it would just be even more awkward if I were to just blurt out “I’M NOT SINGLE BY THE WAY” so I just kinda amuse myself while they try to do their thing. Which is maybe misleading? When are you supposed to stop someone? Like when is it rude to let them keep trying to woo you? :lol:
I guess I could just pick a moment and be like ‘just so you don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not available’ or something… man but then they’re just like oh well we can just be friends that’s cool and like… I’m not a rude person, I don’t have it in me to be like well I don’t want to be your friend, you’re boring. Maybe they will all ask for my phone number like the aforementioned guy and then I can just not give it to them and they will get butthurt and stop trying. But maybe then they will just try harder because persistence is obviously so attractive even if I’m already with someone. Maybe I will be so impressed by it that I will just bend my rules and have sex with them, right? A lot of guys are really like that, so I guess you can’t blame them for trying.
Man… people are strange. Anyway, there’s my thoughts on this new… bar… experience. Just need somewhere to organize my thoughts about it.
^I don’t know dude, guy sounds like a stalker or someone with emotional problems. I wouldn’t keep in contact with him, even if it is for shits-n-giggles.
Elias: Send them my way.
Gay stare is serious business man…I used to get this all the time, hence nickname baklakiller…They would try to stare into my eyes & then see that im straight…They will get all heartbroken…Are you sure your not giving any mix signals?
Also, Brent’s tamale’s*sp…delicious.
Nah, I mean he hasn’t even contacted me without me texting him first. That’s not very stalker. Just desperate.
Would if I could, mate!
Dare I even ask what bakla is? I’m sure I am giving the wrong signals, that’s part of my problem. I’m not trying to send signals at all! It’s like… we make eye contact and my eyes give away that they are attractive to me. Which to them means “you’re hot let’s cavort” when really it’s just like “oh that’s nice to look at.” Some pleasant eye candy and nothing more. I don’t know how to hide the fact that I find them attractive, y’know? Then they get this you know you want me look and I blush because I’m shy and they take it as thinking they’re doing the right thing; making the right moves… When really it’s just me painfully embarrassed because I don’t know how to clear the air. :lol: I’ll get better at it. That’s really the first time I’ve been approached like that.
MEDITATION
This is for Nate, or anybody else who is interested. I’m by no means an expert neither in practice nor in teaching, but I will try to explain how to do basic meditation. Which may be very hard for people in their respective environments - they may not have the solitude needed to reach that level of comfort. Perhaps where you are is a place where you are used to racing your mind a mile a minute and you can’t get it to stop. Then again, the better you become at it in a difficult situation, the easier it will become in the future no matter where you are.
Anyway, if you’re in a bad mood and you can’t get out; you can’t fall asleep; you can’t focus; you can’t shake your nerves, or otherwise just feel a need to try to clean your slate for the day… might as well try, eh? It’s the only thing that stops me from hurting my hands punching things when I’m angry. Or getting too nervous when playing a street fighter match, or an interview/important phone call. If you can learn to meditate, it’ll help you in many ways. I’m not sure if I can teach it to anyone, but I might as well try, eh? It’s simple in concept. Just takes practice.
The most relaxed, comfortable position you can be in (in the yoga I practice, at least) is called Savasana, or “Corpse Pose.” Lie on your back and make sure your neck is straight - don’t try to look further back on the ceiling or further down, just try to align your neck relatively flat on the floor. Something that is comfortable. Your palms face up, arms relaxed; your legs a comfortable, reasonable distance apart, toes pointed slightly out as your legs are relaxed.
Now, the most important part in meditation and probably yoga in general is your breath. Your breathing will happen in and out through the nose, just keep your mouth closed or rather, relaxed… which probably won’t be closed, but don’t worry about it. Some people find themselves too easily distracted with their eyes closed - it’s easy to have your mind wander. You can actively meditate with your eyes open, although hopefully you have a blank ceiling to look at. No visual distractions are going to help. It’s harder to get into a deeper meditation but at the same time you should start wherever you’re able, you can’t jump into some shangri-la ish.
Breathe. Focus on nothing but your breath. Take a deeeeep breath in, and slowly let it out. Not so slowly that you are not getting enough oxygen, you have to lower your heartrate more before you can breath more slowly. When I’m feeling easily distracted my mantra is just “innnnnnn… and outtttt…” for each breath. I make sure to keep my inner monologue focused on when I’m breathing in, and when I’m breathing out. Quieting your mind more comes later.
Breathe in deeply - in the nose, out the nose. After a few deep breaths, work on breathing more slowly, but remain controlled. You don’t necessarily have to breathe deeper as there are breathing exercises that help with that aspect. Each time you breathe in, however, hold it for just a little bit longer. And then, exhale a little bit longer; slow it down. In… hold it a second longer, and out, take a slightly longer exhale.
If you find yourself being distracted, just bring your focus back to your breath. Don’t become frustrated - don’t become anything other than an observer. If you have an itch, a compulsion, observe it for what it is but try to not react to it. Try to just observe your body while keeping your focus on your breath.
At this time, you may find tension in your body. Let’s say your lower back is sore or tight. On your inhale, focus all your breath on that spot. Just imagine all the air in your body swirling toward that spot… hold it in for a moment, and let go of a little tension on your exhale. Just imagine the air you are breathing is taking little bits of the tension with it on the exhale. Focus your breath, relax that spot as best you can on the inhale.
Incrementally increase the time between breaths - hold the inhale a bit longer; wait just a moment longer after you exhale before you begin your next breath. Sometimes it helps me to focus on what I see behind my eyelids. Like… it’s rarely dark to the point where there is absolutely no light on my eyes - you know how sometimes there is patches of white or something that’s not just pitch black? At least for me there is - I focus on that when I am having issues not mentally picturing things/being distracted like that.
You will become distracted, and that’s okay. It’s a practice. It’s different from day to day, experience to experience, person to person. Just bring your focus back to your breath and start again. As you get further without becoming distracted, your heart rate slows and your body can take a break and heal yourself. Your mind will follow. Whether you’re low on energy, can’t focus, tense, in pain, or just plain in a bad mood, meditation can and will help. Learning to shut your mind off is really a beautiful thing. I guarantee it would help anyone here with any of their goals.
~
If anyone is more interested I have an audiobook I can PM you. I have not checked it out but it seems legit and my first meditative breakthrough really was with an audio track to guide me. It’s a lot easier to start that way, I found one that had me lying on the floor (burn it to a CD/put it on your ipod/get some long headphone cords) and effortlessly lifting my arms to a parallel 90 degree effortlessly, unaware. Just so he could make an example of the power of meditation and how much more efficiently you can be using your energy. It’s hard to learn how to do it without someone there reminding you to keep your focus and what to be trying to do, but I thought I’d try with the write-up. I know at least one person was interested so that’s good enough for me.
Elias Bakla = gay in tagalog (filipino language), there’s more to it behind that but that’s pretty much the jist of it.