Exactly. I mean I think most, or maybe even all of us at ‘some’ point have thought about suicide, but it’s mainly because we were too young or weak at the time. And there’s different reasons people go through with it. But there’s always a reason to live, because it’s hard to think someone’s gone through life totally isolating themselves to the point that no one will give them the time of day. I hope you got your friend a pizza for that phone call at least.
I don’t blame you for getting offended/upset at how I feel about suicide. I’m just such an asshole about it because I knew 2 people who killed themselves, and both of them had no reason for doing so. All they left was pain, agony, misery and sadness to their friends and family. If someone selfishly does such an act without even trying to reach out, that just makes my blood boil. I’ve had one person reach out to me since and I told them this. “If you kill yourself, I’m not going to your funeral, I’m not going to remember you. If you have ANY idea how selfish that is, you’d never even think about it. You have people that care for you, and all you’d do is leave them wondering ‘why’.” I explained to them how stupid it was and got them laughing by telling that person dumb, silly stories about dumb shit I got into and stuff. What I told got through. I wasn’t trying to come off like someone who didn’t care. Just someone who wanted to show how pointless suicide is. And yes, they’re still enjoying this mortal coil as we speak.
And like you said, it just takes someone to talk to them. But it’s up to that person to reach out to others. We’re not mind readers, and we can’t help anyone that hasn’t tried to find a listening ear.
This. Community is super important; it cannot be overstated. Contemporary culture and modern technology make it very easy to isolate oneself. When someone is depressed, the worst thing to do is to avoid other people. No matter how embarassed or disgusted you are with yourself you need to talk to others. Your real friends will be so much happier that you do this than the alternative.
Also telling a depressed person that ‘somebody out there has it worse than you,’ isn’t just not helping, it’s counterproductive. A depressed person already knows this and it just makes them feel even more worthless. He already knows that a lot of other people have to suffer graver tragedies day after day. So the thinking goes ‘if other people are worse off than me and can keep going, how much more pathetic am I for not being able to deal with my quote unquote minor problems.’ He will minimize his own problems (in contrast to others), exaggerate his weaknesses/failings and feel even more useless than before. You’re basically telling him to jump.
Jae, like you observed, one of the scariest things about suicide is that it can be contagious. Something about seeing someone else you know do it seems to be the nudge that pushes vulnerable people past the tipping point. Since you seem to be aware of this both in yourself and in others around you make sure that you all do stay in touch and are not afraid to talk about it.
Also, I don’t know what university you attend, but most of them have health clinics available to their students for free or at least at highly discounted prices. If you or your friends have any professors that you know or trust, don’t be afraid ask to set up a meeting at their office or to visit them during their office hours. Talk to them about the situation and ask them if they know any reliable help whether inside or outside the campus clinic. Good professors care about more than just the exam scores of their students. Many are deeply vested in the life or future success of their students.
Take care.
Yea most people don’t exactly create a comfortable environment for discussing suicide because its taboo. It’s easy to see why they don’t talk to anyone about it. Someone who’s feeling depressed shouldn’t be demomized for being depressed. What you just said is the exact reason why they don’t talk to anyone about it.
My buddy Andy from high school killed himself probably my second year of college. I couldnt’ believe it. He was always happy. Always cracking jokes. We all thought we knew him. He was the first real friend I’d had once my parents decided to move us to a new town as I was starting 7th grade, which is a shirtty time to move.
I think about that dude all the time. I didn’t think I would. Whenever the situation applies, I tell stories about him. He was funny as hell. We had a substitute teacher whose name was Mr. Ennis. He straight up went to the dude and asked him if his initials were A.P. A.P.Ennis. Got written up for calling dude “a penis.” xD His dad was hard on him, probably way too much. Had a girl break his heart and probably other stuff and thought that was the only way to ease the pain. I hadn’t seen him in about 6 months when it happened.
For his gravestone, his parents made a bench with some of his quotes on it. I’ve sat there and written songs, which is something I know he would have wanted. He was in the first band I was ever in and a couple others.
Seriously, if you’re thinking about killing yourself, and you’ve come close or are close, talk to someone whose friendship and/or love you value. If they can’t give you a reason why you shouldn’t, then fuck it, just do it. But I bet they can. And if they do and you don’t take their advice, or at least think about it, then fuck you, you are selfish.
Jesus, I come on here for drunken amusement and I’m crying. What the actual fuck SRK??
Foxceo dude- The idea of somebody committing suicide should make us mad, or at least evoke some kind of strong emotion; I’m with you on that.
I’m glad that you were able to help out your friend. From that conversation you don’t come off as somebody who doesn’t care. Quite the opposite. If you didn’t care you wouldn’t have taken the time to tell them how cruel it is (both for them and their loved ones).
I don’t understand why people commit suicide and i definitely don’t understand why people commit suicide when they’re 4.0 students or are financially rich, etc.
Yeah I never got the whole suicide thing, but then again I never took pils that had suicide as a side effect either. My condolences, how is his family taking it?
None of you know me, but I do lurk around SRK everyday. I’m just gonna say my piece and go. I can’t remember when exactly it all started, but I’ve suffered from bouts of depression for years now. Do you truly know what it feels like to feel absolutely worthless? To say I regret my entire life would be an understatement. I don’t want to tell anyone how I got to this point. It’s gotten so bad it feels like my identity. I can’t separate the thought that I’m a loser from my inner self. For years I’ve contemplated suicide, back then it felt like something momentary, that it was something I’d get over eventually. Maybe I didn’t take it as seriously then. I think it started around February this year, but I just could not stop thinking about offing myself. For months, everyday, every few hours, I stared at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-8255. I don’t even know if that number is legit, I never called. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Shame, embarrassment, fear, whatever reason I just never dialed in. I read stories about people with similar experiences. And I thought to myself, if anyone came to me telling me they wanted to die, I wouldn’t try to convince them to live. I know exactly how you got there, I’m right there with you buddy. I eventually laid out the groundwork. I wrote it down into concrete ideas. How I would kill myself. The time of death. Where my body would be found. Who would find my body. Every detail. I resigned from my last job on June 7, 2013. On the surface I gave my family and coworkers common excuses. They just assumed I got tired working there, or that I was young and just enjoying life. On my resignation letter it literally says I wanted to go find myself. A load of bullshit really. I didn’t want to die on the job for some reason. I quit with no money, no connections, no “if I decided to continue living plan”, nothing. I had enough money to pay my bills for maybe three months at best. So I convinced myself I’d just enjoy myself until the money ran out. Somewhere along the way, I didn’t think about suicide as strongly. I just chilled the fuck out. I stared outside beyond my windows everyday, watching cars go by, kids play, the scenery. I was playing games, especially SSFIVAE all day. Reading comic books, watching movies, picking up new hobbies. Spending a lot of time with my family, eating out, and just doing anything and everything to relax. I had so much fun that I didn’t have any space for morbidly depressing thoughts. At least not on an obsessive level. I just found a stable job October 23, 2013. Depending on where you live, I work at your local grocery store. Maybe this episode is over, but I’m sure I’ll face another crisis later. It’s impossible for me to not think about it, as it’s impossible for me to change the past that’s shaped me as a person. But either way, life goes on. I just went on a date last Saturday, and although it didn’t work out, it helped me realize I’m not ready for a relationship. I’m still carrying too much emotional baggage. Repeating this ad nauseam, but you never know what’s going on with a person. Whether it be your sister, your neighbor, a stranger. Try your best to treat everyone kindly with some understanding. Peace out.
My ex-girlfriend killed herself less than a month after we broke up (and it was a very bad break up). I never would have imagined that she’d do it: she was so head strong, confident, and outgoing. I rethink our time together over and over: she never mentioned or showed any signs of being depressed or suicidal. Regardless, I blamed myself for years over it.
I also had a friend in college who killed himself too. Cool guy, and one of the best Go players I’ve ever seen. Such a waste.
I really can’t relate to depression: although I had my emo moments in high school, I’ve never seriously thought of offing myself. This world is just too damn interesting to piece out of. And there is so much fun shit and projects to do, I can’t wait to see what the future holds.
And maybe that’s what it’s all about. If one doesn’t see a favorable future for oneself - a future where they have value and purpose - that leads a fear and hopelessness that sparks the wave of depression into suicide. Of course, there could be other physical factors. For example, CTE is linked to depression and suicidal thoughts.
I find that the individualism of our Western culture is (at least partially) why suicide is such a problem in America…not to mention all the medications.
for a while I was bullied too, both verbally and physically, but now I think this made me stronger and also more sensitive to other bullied victims. not immediately of course but in the long run. of course at the shitty school I was, teachers didnt care at all. and other people might not have the stamina without aid from parents, teachers or psychologists.
but bullying isnt the only cause. if you enter adolescence your body and mind undergo so many changes that bullying makes it worse.
Some wonder why successful people commit suicide…well it just goes to show you status and wealth don’t mean much. If someone commits suicide it means they lost hope. I put on a smile all the time even though I maybe very depressed. What is happening on the inside≠what is happening on the outside. Yup many of us have conditioned ourselves to be emotional hypocrites since we are afraid to admit what is really going on. Fear is at the root of it which is why people call others who commit suicide cowards. If you are feeling depressed there is definitely a reason behind it. It could be biological but it is most likely a deeper reason like regret,emptiness or hell even your diet plays a role. Living for yourself isn’t enough, doing some sort of service to family,friends or community can really help. Living for others is another extreme, you have to find a balance between the two.
This is where meditation comes in and it is a tool we all need. You would be surprised how many things lurk in your subconscious and how many regrets you actually have. Being honest with yourself is number one, you don’t want to become a habitual liar ignoring the fact that you have a problem. It may reach a boiling point that you really can’t come back from. To just believe in the material world really limits the totality of what we are. There is a deeper spiritual truth that one must be open to. The best we can do is be there for people and make sure we did everything we could. Kindle the Light in yourself, then kindle it in others - one by one. - Haidakhan Babaji
Maybe they have really strict, overachieving rich parents that are threatening to disown them and cut off funding if they don’t keep their college grades up, and they have enrolled in some really difficult classes this year…
The first step in fixing/healing, especially emotional ones, is to talk about it instead of keeping it in. You are the doing the right thing man. I personally have not experience losing someone via suicide. Did the thought of suicide ever occur to me? There were a few times growing up I thought about it but I got over it.
@Sarangha: 100% agreed. Cliche as it is, being honest with yourself really does release and free you. I can write a big-wall-o-text on it but it still won’t do justice; people just need to experience and accept themselves and things will become clearer.
I don’t personally know your buddy but R.I.P. Thomas. This song comforts me whenever I get sad remembering my dead friend from high school(hit-and-run tragedy).
