After the shocking death of Pertho, the remaining members returned to what they do best: lurking streams. One person was lurking a different kind of stream though. SWBeta shot furtive glances over his shoulder as he slipped further and further into the dark recesses of the internet. Eventually he settled on a streamer called ‘Ugandan_Fister’. Unzipping his pants and reaching past his stuffed toy collection for lube, SWBeta got to work.
Choosing a username that was bound to turn on his partner was a priority. “grunt yeah, that’s the perfect one” SWBeta managed to enter the username and his credit card details with one hand. Finally, a private channel between the two was established.
Monkeyman69: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don’t know how long I can keep it ready for you.
Ugandan_Fister: thats ok. ok i’m a ugandan systems admin, what r u.
Monkeyman69: A Gorilla. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
Ugandan_Fister: haha, ok lets go.
Ugandan_Fister: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
Monkeyman69: I beat my chest and grunt to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
Ugandan_Fister: haha, ok, u know da wae to turn me on.
Ugandan_Fister: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
Monkeyman69: Gorillas don’t wear shirts.
Ugandan_Fister: No, ur not really a Gorilla silly, it’s just part of the game.
Monkeyman69: Gorillas don’t play games. They fucking beat your ass.
Ugandan_Fister: stop, cmon be serious.
Monkeyman69: It doesn’t get any more serious than a Gorilla about to beat your ass.
Monkeyman69: I stomp my feet, the leaves rustle from my tough skinned feet.
Ugandan_Fister: thats it.
Monkeyman69: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My fists, hard and strong and a symbol of my potent virility, are the last thing you see as I go full ape on your ass. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty banana. The rest of my pack cheer and holler from the surrounding trees before they descend upon your corpse and start to tear it apart.
Ugandan_Fister has disconnected
You have been banned from this channel by the host
Monkeyman69: Goddamn am I hard now.
Closing his terminal, SWBeta let out a cry of outrage as his banana still strained to be released. Frantically he began surfing through darker and weirder corners of the net. Bringing up and dismissing progressively more degenerate videos. “Godzilla fucking a dog, pfft, old”, “RadicalFuzz and a pit, seen it” in his frantic searching he didn’t notice that he’d stumbled onto the 9Gag forums. “Hang on, this looks like a thread I’d like, ‘hot Asian woman banana anal penetration’, SOLD!”.
Opening up the thread in eager anticipation revealed a red-headed woman with the screen name of Crimson_As(h). Stroking harder and harder, SWBeta let out heavier and heavier grunts. Just as he was about to find release he scrolled down to the last image in the set, showing Crimson_As(h)with a large erection and the model’s real name written on her stomach in lipstick. “Wait, Ash Crimson is really a dude!” HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRR
SWBeta continued to rock from the world’s most powerful orgasm.
Meanwhile in Uganda
Systems admin Knuckles stepped away from de console in disgust. He thought de wae to de-stress over de forum problem was some harmless cyber. But even that was ruined by de new Current Ugandan Lookalike Trannies forums he’d acquired. Deciding to kill de unbeliever, he accessed de user data for de forums. Unfortunately, due to the particular web security the Ugandan Knuckles tribe used in their encryption protocols, all Knuckles could see was gibberish.
“I think it was dis guy” Knuckles brought up the filthiest profile on de site. “Okay, time to show dis guy de way we solve problems in Uganda”. Contacting his Ugandan enforcer over at GD, Knuckles gave DevilJin very clear instructions.
SWBeta was still laying in a pool of his own juices, twitching and moaning intermittently. StockyJam, approaching from a distance took one look at the puddle of filth and left muttering about getting tested for monkey AIDS.
In the bushes off to the side, Preppy was busy throwing up every meal he’d ever eaten. He’d thought that Alpha was one of the degenerate trolls ruining his beloved forums. But after what he’d just observed he knew that even the mafia wasn’t that degenerate. Crawling away from the scene of a crime against humanity, Preppy decided he’d done enough investigation for one night.
DevilJin strolled past his fellow moderator doing the inchworm and shook his head. “Why am I surrounded by weirdos. Why can’t other people be normal and collect katanas, knives, nunchucks, shuriken’s, and kunai like me!” Walking along like an Otaku leaving an anime convention, DevilJin saw the collapsed form of his target. Deciding that a ranged weapon would probably be his best bet given all of the surrounding muck, DevilJin withdrew a brace of kunai. With a cry and a sort-of stumble that was probably supposed to look like a ninja, DevilJin unleashed his rain of death. Unfortunately, the first wave missed… as did the second through fifth. However, the sixth wave managed to catch a number of vital organs entirely by chance. “Haha! That’s why no-one should mess with me, I’m a master ninja-assassin.” DevilJin turned and ran away from the scene with his arms behind his back.
Returning to the mafia hideout, StockyJam was muttering about eye bleach. “How did your mission go, is the target subdued?” asked Affinity. “I don’t want to talk about it, but there is no-way I am going after that thing again. He makes us normal perverts look bad.” StockyJam replied. “My ninjas, we haven’t got time to choose a new target to kill, it almost be daytime. How about we merc that fool standing over theyya” PO gestured with his cane to a figure muttering to themselves while drawing patterns on a wall with red string. The mafia all looked at each other and shrugged before heading towards their next victim.
‘Well Nupo, you’ve gone 72 hours without sleep but you’ve finally cracked the case. With this well-thought-out analysis, I’ve clearly narrowed the mafia down to four suspects. Everyone will be so shocked when I show them this tomorrow’. Any remaining thoughts of grandeur were silenced as StockyJam began to work out his frustrations on NupoChromine’s body.
When the remaining players emerged the next day, it was to the sight of NupoChromine’s crumpled body and a web of string that looked remarkably like a moose. Or was it a dog?
AlphaCommando was killed by DevilJin. Alpha Commando was: SWBeta (Roleless Civilian).
NupoChromine was killed by the Mafia. NupoChromine was: NupoChromine (Roleless Civilian).
It is now Day phase, voting closes in 36 hours. Ensure all votes are submitted via PM.
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