1281

Spoilers bro (though I already ‘knew’ the outcome before watching)

1282

Yeah, here’s what happened to me:

I messed up at work (working at McD’s) on midnights 4 years ago. Had to pull a cookie sheet out of the oven, and half asleep, grabbed it with my bare hands. My thumb blistered up pretty bad, then the blister deflated on its own, but looked like a scar. It was there for around 2 or 3 weeks then eventually just fell off, no trace of it. I got seriously lucky. I thought a had a big gaudy scar on my thumb.

Just keep an eye on it, maybe put a few bandages over it with some Neosporin. If it starts looking bad, (and believe me, you’ll know if it looks bad) go to the doctor.

====================================

So my name is Missing Person. I live in China, and I am scared of Chinese people saying “Hello” to me in English, because 9 times out of ten, it ends in WTF.

I was walking from my school to the bus stop to go home today. Now, at my school, there’s three buildings. One’s the cafeteria, one’s the primary school (where I work), and the other’s a preschool. I don’t have any interaction with any other department in the school, not the middle or high school, and definitely not the preschool.

Every day, there’s three Chinese women (in their 20s), that come from the preschool and walk to the same bus stop I do. 2 of them, how to say it nicely…they look like frogs. The third, is…quite frankly, hot. Not a 10, mind you, but definitely not sub-7. So for the last couple weeks, we’ve walked to the stop at the exact same time. They have never said a word to me. I’ve gotten some stares, but I attributed it to “Foreigner in China waiting on a bus.” That pretty much makes me stick out like a sore thumb in a sea of perfectly manicured pinkies.

Today, same routine, I’m walking home, walking ahead of them. Suddenly they catch up to me, and here we go (all of this is English):

Frog #1: Hello.
MP: Hello.
Frog #1: Are you an English teacher at [school]?
MP: Yeah.
Frog #1: Grade school, middle, or high school?
MP: Grade school.
Frog #1: Aha.

(I thought it was over. I really need to turn off the logic functions in my brain, and just brace for the worst…)

Frog #1: waves hand at both Frog #2 and Not Frog You know, they want to make friends with you.
MP: Ah, really?
Frog #1: Yes. points directly at Not Frog Can you give her your phone number?
MP: I…uh…don’t remember my phone number yet.
Frog #1: You don’t remember your phone number?
MP: Yeah.

(She probably thought I was BSing, but I really don’t. I had just changed my SIM card out on my phone to a cheaper prepaid plan, because I got scammed by the dealer I went to when I first got her. At this point, I only know my area code, and that’s only because the number is actually one of my multitude of nicknames. No, not 007, shut up.)

So I’m pretty sure Frog 1 tried to hook me up with Not Frog. And I’m sure you guys are wondering, “Why not go for a tryst? Yeah, you’re married, but how are you going to get caught?”

Well, let me break it down:

  1. Morally, I don’t feel right stepping out at all.
  2. Even if I did feel ok about that, my wife works at the school with me. Things would get messy.
  3. Even if she didn’t, it’s written into my contract that I’m not to enter into any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with people at school. Just by hiring my wife, they’re giving me a carve-out for that, but we’re not even supposed to let on to anyone, students, faculty, anyone, that we’re married. The only reason the English Department knows is because CUNTZILLA ™ blabbed it to everyone in the department.
  4. Even if that weren’t the case, there’s been plenty of stories about foreigners engaging in NSA affairs with Chinese women getting BEAT INTO OBLIVION by Chinese men if they’re figured out. I’m sure that angst is exasperated right now by that British guy in Beijing raping that Chinese woman last week. I would like to leave this country without internal bleeding, thank you.

But seriously, I ask, why couldn’t ish like this happen to me when I was single?! If I wasn’t attached to my wife, I’d be all over that. Just crap man, thanks for being 10 months late, lady.

Now of course, I’m well aware all of this could’ve been just innocent, maybe friends, or language exchange, whatever. But then, it could’ve also been language exchange over hot, sweaty, sweet & sour sex, too.

So yeah, I don’t really like Hellos anymore.

1283

Wtf. What else are you gonna be a decade late for, SW? :coffee:

1284

:mad:

Quiet, you.

1285

It’s all good, man. Now you can watch this video and laugh your ass off:

[media=youtube]0OLGx2lGtOc[/media]

I thought that video was hilarious when I first seen it a couple years ago. OOOOOOOH, GANDALF!

1286

So whats the verdict on AE 2012? Is most of the cast viable? I hear Guy is the worst.

1287

I am no expert, and its probably bullshit, but I thought it was something along the lines of “their time on middle earth was up”. Light of the Valar running out or something. Its explained in the silmarillion, but that book is like some historical/biblical account of the first, second and 3rd ages of middle earth. It has the excitement of a history book with the wordiness of a bible. I would recommend getting it on audio book and listening to it before you go to bed. But as far as I can remember, it was all part of some grand design of “God” or whatever. Calling them back home and letting men rule the world.

1288

Verdict is it’s slow and boring to play. I suggest you play older, faster, more fun games like: Alpha 2/Gold, 3S, or CvS2. If you have amazing reactions and great execution, play ST. Also, magically get me a Diablo III Cd key.

1289

I like the speed of IV.

Everything except GG feels slow to me anyway.

1290

Really? ST and A2 feel slow to you? WTF!

Play me in A2 on GGPO sometime, sir. If you can react to the majority of the things I’m throwing at you in that game, then you are truly a god among men. One that should be raping everyone in every modern game at every tournament.

1291

Here’s the thing. I’ve never played A2 and let me tell you why.

I am the only person I know (until recently) that enjoys fighting games. My town never had a real arcade, and when we did, it had an old beat up MVC2 cab and 3S. Neither of which anyone but myself played.

I’m in on this wave of players that came with SFIV because it kind of put fighters back in the spotlight. Now, there are TWO dudes I know who like fighters. However, one of them likes UMVC3, and the other likes SFxT. Neither have AE, GG, BB, KOF, etc etc.

I’m a product of my environment unfortunately. That environment being a desolate wasteland of fun.

1292

Definitely get a hold of the ROM and play it through the GGPO emulator or MAME ASAP, dude. Or check out some random tournament matches on youtube/GGPO matches.

Alpha 2 is one of my favorite games of all time. It has the perfect mix of oldschool and newschool mechanics with a sprinkle of bullshit on top. Pretty easy to learn the basics of, very hard to master. Truly, imo, one of the greatest games of all time. A shame Alpha 3 is such garbage in comparison.

1293

Is GGPO pretty good? I have to get this stick finished so I can use it on PC.

1294

Have you played Skullgirls online? If so then its like 6 times better than that. Seriously GGPO ST room was like fucking crack to me for a good 3-4 months.

1295

My SG online experience was within the first day it dropped. May or may not be a good comparison as it lagged its ass entirely off. Also, SG sucks.

1296

MVC3 is the greatest fighting game of all time.

http://chzgifs.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/achievement-unlocked-haters-gonna-hate.gif

1297

Not to be a dick but there is no reason to ever take your opinion on a fighting game seriously. Computer parts and/or computer games I will listen attentively to, but you say that you love GG; but you are ok with AE speed and everything else feels slow…shit feels slow even though you love playing SFxT?

You make about as much damn sense as a woman.

I mean you’re a cool dude but your taste in fighting games is on the level of the friend that I wanted to beat with a shoe.

1298

AE is a different game entirely. I don’t compare AE to other versions of SF, or other fighters. SF is its own game and I treat it as such.

I also don’t LOVE playing SFxT. I traded it in a while ago. I played it for quite some time to give it a shot, and enjoyed the time I had with it, but I recognize that it’s total bullshit and pretty bad. I still like playing it from time to time with friends who have it, but just because I didn’t immediately say “this game is bad and I hate it and its bad” without playing it enough to have reason to form that opinion, doesn’t mean SFxT and I are sittin’ in a tree. My initial impression of the game was good, but it took me a while to learn enough about it to realize that it wasn’t cool.

Did you ever pick up SC5? I still haven’t played it since pre first patch.

1299

My game is up on the Marketplace now: http://www.windowsphone.com/en-GB/apps/94d7a0e4-e013-4500-9817-e99b28631030

Now I can get those Dr. Dre headphones :smiley: It’s a prize…I wouldn’t pay for something so overpriced.

1300

Was able to snatch it up first week. Need to get my friend to stop being a bitch and come play. SCV would be better if I didn’t have to pay for clothes though; although I understand that this by far the best type of DLC…I just don’t wanna pay for extra clothes.