So what happens if this thread gets locked if we start posting lime green penises?
The trick is to dress them up in little outfits so Pertho doesn’t recognise them.
I’m scavenging bolts too. From a game design standpoint, it ramps you up to get ahead in the long run a la coin, wild growth, innervate, wild growth on turn 1.
If you would have let vynce author the write up, hecatom would have sounded like hecatom.
Actions due in 15 minutes.
Two hours ago, at The Chief’s suite
The Chief: "…"
Cyntalan: "…"
Bious: "…"
Vynce (?): "…"
Cyntalan: "Can we keep him?"
Bious: "Can we kill him?"
The Chief: "Well I mean we did win him in an… action. So I guess we can do whatever we want with him?"
Vynce (?): "You WON me?"
The Chief: "Yep, says right here that we traded the soul of a viewer for the soul of a contestant."
Vynce (?): "HAH, JOKES ON YOU. I DON’T HAVE A SOUL."
Cyntalan: "Oh. But I’m thirsty. You were meant to get us drinks."
Bious: "Can we kill him now?"
The Chief: "Tell you what. Vynce (?) has played in Dreadzone before. Maybe we can use him to win some SaltyBets. Got any insider info that we can bet on to make a fortune?"
Vynce (?): "Bet on RadicalFuzz and orochizoolander to do something stupid."
The Chief: “I said fortune, not 1:1 odds.”
Present time, at the Dreadzone Station
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpZg-lX2g4s&list=PLwxLlSv5mvIaQ_kytE9-OugbhEEyAIImG
Dallas: "Aaaaaaaand we are LIVE from the Dreadzone Station where our contestants have 5 minutes to gather whatever they can get their grubby hands on. Joining me tonight is my ever-delightful co-host, Juanita!"
Juanita: "Urgh."
Dallas: "You said it, Jjjuanita. Now let’s check in with the ensuing chaos of everyone fighting blood and bone over the LIMITED RESOURCES."
DukeC: "Uhhh, nah. I think most of us are good."
Missing Person: "Yeah, that was surprisingly diplomatic."
chadouken!: "I mean I was slightly tempted to take the Miniturret Launcher, buuutttt…"
Blindknagg: "ALL HAIL LORD TURRETIUS, PRAISE BE UNTO HIM AND ALL HIS GLORY."
Dallas: "Well then… I guess we’re good to go?"
ForgeDigger: "stupid fucken fucker fuck"
Juanita: "Awww, did the girl get overpowered by the oppressive male? Did the patriarchy take your B6-Obliterator?"
3rdSTRikeLOVE: "Bitches can’t handle my shit."
Dallas: "Frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t go for the Gold Bolts, knowing her type. So that’s the source of the whispered curses… where are the distant far away abuses coming from?"
jasonC: "THAT STUPID SOUTH AMERICAN BASTARD."
Hecatom: "HECATOM ES NUMER UNO! HUEHUEHUEHUEHUE!"
Juanita: "Wow, it looks like jasonC’s overwhelming jealousy awakened Hecatom’s accent!"
Dallas: "That jealousy of course caused by jasonC being unable to find ANY Gold Bolts while Hecatom takes away a massive 4 Gold Bolts! And how goes your hunt for Gold Bolts… $ynonym?"
Synonym: "I don’t wanna talk about it cunt."
Juanita: "Speaking of not talking, what’s with Reiraku, RadicalFuzz and orochizoolander?"
Dallas: "Well RadicalFuzz and orochizoolander have been dead for 2 years like the rest of the returning contestants, I’m surprised there isn’t more brain decay!"
DarkGeneral: "Oh, that’s not an effect of the revival, those two are normally like that."
NupoChromine: "And I think Reiraku’s on the phone."
Reiraku: "Oh yes, tell me more about your experience with airport security…"
Juanita: "OKAY, I’M BORED NOW. SEND THEM TO CATACROM FOUR."
Dallas: "You remember that place, don’t you returning contestants?"
Synonym: "Fuckin’ oath I do. Good memories. Think we might set up camp again, ay?"
Juanita: "Oh yes, take all the time in the world there. There is something you should know though."
Dallas: "Have you ever heard of Viagrobot? Well we’ve given those Zombie Robots a whole shipment and the gestation period of a Zombie Robot is a lot less than any other species!"
Juanita: "So the question is… how long are you prepared to hold out? Because the longer it is, the harder it gets. Try Viagrobot today!"
Dallas: “And with our contestants now on their way to Catacrom Four, that brings today’s show to a close. What will our contestants do tomorrow? Tune in next time on Dreadzone.”
Back at The Chief’s suite
The Chief: "Co-operation, huh…"
Bious: "Yeah, that peace won’t last."
Cyntalan: "Especially if we have anything to say about it."
Vynce (?): "Those are people’s LIVES you are talking about. They are my CREW!"
The Chief: "Didn’t stop you from trying to kill them last time."
Vynce (?): "…"
The Chief: "And keep yo damn feet off my couch!"
Bious: “Fuck yo couch nigga.”
Actions
3rdSTRikeLOVE - Scavenge: B6-Obliterator
Blindknagg - Scavenge: Miniturret Launcher
chadouken! - Scavenge: Versa-Wrench Lite
DarkGeneral - Scavenge: Hunter Mine Launcher
DukeC - Scavenge: Green
ForgeDigger - Scavenge: B6-Obliterator
Hecatom - Scavenge: Gold Bolts
jasonC - Scavenge: Gold Bolts
Missing Person - Scavenge: Dual Vipers
NupoChromine - Scavenge: Scorpion Flail
orochizoolander - Jesus wept
RadicalFuzz - Nobody wept
Raij1n - Scavenge: Nanobots
Reiraku - Jesus wept
Synonym - Scavenge: Gold Bolts
Results
3rdSTRikeLOVE wins the B6-Obliterator over ForgeDigger.
Hecatom gets 4 Gold Bolts.
jasonC gets 0 Gold Bolts.
Synonym gets 0 Gold Bolts.
Players
3rdSTRikeLOVE: B6-Obliterator (+1 atk/+2 def/0XP)
Blindknagg: Miniturret Launcher (+1 atk/0 def/0XP)
chadouken!: Versa-Wrench Lite (+1 atk/+1 def/0XP)
DarkGeneral: Hunter Mine Launcher (0 atk/+3 def/0XP)
DukeC: Green (0 atk/0 def/0 Phases)
ForgeDigger:
Hecatom:
jasonC:
Missing Person: Dual Vipers (+1 atk/0 def/0XP)
NupoChromine: Scorpion Flail (+3 atk/0 def/0XP)
orochizoolander:
RadicalFuzz:
Raij1n: Nanobots
Reiraku:
Synonym:
Scavengable Items
Weapons
-Versa-Wrench Lite (Unlimited Available)
-Magma Cannon (1 Available)
-The Arbiter (1 Available)
-Fusion Rifle (1 Available)
-Holoshield Launcher (1 Available)
-Merc (1 Available)
Items
-Gold Bolts (0/1/2/3)
-Database (Contains all 26 Abilities, but not the Players that own them)
New Planet
Catacrom Four:
Zombie Robot A - (1 atk/1 def/2XP)
Zombie Robot B - (1 atk/1 def/2XP)
Zombie Robot C - (1 atk/1 def/2XP)
If 1 or more Zombie Robots remain at the end of the turn, 2 more will spawn.
Actions due in 24 hours.
Turretius Vult!
God damn it I’m an idiot. Gonna grab a Wrench.
Wtf
Welp 
Yes! I got the wrench!
Guys, I hate to be that guy, but how does everyone feel about killing the NPCs today and getting that done first?
They’ve been buffed since last time so we need to not die from them.
Let’s coordinate which one we’re aiming for to make sure we guarantee their deaths.
I have coordinated my efforts to help out with that next round… I have yet to acquire any means of offense besides personal odor and cynicism
Yeah… about that aiming part.
Turretius knows if you’ve been naughty.
Same old love my ass lol, I can actually maybe do something this time around
OK, I’m attacking Robot C with my wrench. My wrench has +1 attack to the Robot’s +1 defense, so someone else will have to finish it off one I take the shield down.
If @NupoChromine were to attack any NPC, those of us with attack power could just pick any zombie robot, and we all gain XP. Of course Nupo would be gaining a LOT more XP, but it might be worth it to knock all the robots out at once.
On another note, can a player with 0 atk share the XP from a kill? I wouldn’t think so, but I’m curious
So I thought about it, and if I’m reading the Scorpion Flail right… @NupoChromine can just take them all out at once anyway. It seems like we’re going to have to coordinate a bit to gain any XP in the first place.
Or he can just cockblock us for exp and kill us all and me twice cause I have nanobots
Since i botched my last phase, I’m going to try and scavenge the magma cannon.