Quinn vs. Bauer is gonna be SO GOOD.
RIP BB. Went out like a champ.
Yea, my last post in this thread said I knew Jack wouldn’t open the door without a plan. The no thank you was of course going to happen and she still wanted him arrested in the end right? Or was that all FBI head guy’s move? Man this show is fucken good. I had to miss it live so I didn’t come in here and the first 15 minutes was :wow: I woke up at 6am yesterday morning after 4 hrs of rest after work (10 hr shift) and I was up but missed it live on tv cause my friends were over playing video games and so I had to wait until 3-4 am to watch it on fox.com but mannn being up 24 hrs to watch this episode was worth it.
…Wow.
(Anyone else notice how the show recap ended with SKIRT getting slapped? I thought that was kinda funny…)
So we start this week’s edition of THE BAUER POWER HOUR with PRESIDENT SKIRT, FIRST BITCH, BAUER, BUCKY, THA MUTHAFUCKIN’ PIERCE, RED FOREMAN, and pretty much every other hero being held hostage by CANDYMAN. VEEP BILLY BOB is still handcuffing BOSS MOSS and SCARLETT with his TINY BALLS OF INDECISIVENESS. How is the world are our heroes going to escape from this one?!
Of course, THE BAUER has a plan…THE LOVE SHACK has been filled with natural gas, and all it needs is one little spark to go KA-BLOOIE! THE BAUER explains this plan to BUCKY, while RED FOREMAN whines that he wants to play counter-terrorist in the clubhouse too! BAUER tells him to STFU and sit back down. CANDYMAN forces PRESIDENT SKIRT to fess up on YouTube - it only makes 5th popular video of the week, behind Applemilk and MRirian being WEABOO POSERS on camera! BAUER plans to sacrifice himself MASON STYLE to cause the KA-BLOOIE, but BUCKY, knowing that the terrorism still goes so, so deep, believing in our boy 100%, and perhaps feeling a little guilty for not torturing EVIL SCREECH, takes the initiative and sets off the KA-BLOOIE, going out like THE MASON. :sad: Just when you were getting lulled into a false sense of security, 24 pulls the rug from under you yet again!
Let us all take a moment to honor the badassedry of Bill Buchanan, aka BUCKY. This one really saddened me, he was one of my favorite characters and had really established himself. May you join the 24 MAUSOLEUM OF FALLEN HEROES, old friend.
*Like Sep, I too was spoiled about this by clicking the thread. I blame myself though, usually I know better than to click on the thread as the show is airing, so its my own fault.
**Anyone else notice that characters who are going to die in the ep get to have their name highlighted in the opening?
***Of course, Bill gets the silent clock.
With the KA-BLOOIE, BAUER and THE PIERCE spring into action, and BOSS MOSS, tired of dealing with VEEP BILLY BOB’S TINY TESTICLES, also takes charge! CANDYMAN and his forces are wiped out, and PRESIDENT SKIRT and most of the hostages are saved! As the action dies down, THE BAUER sees the fallen BUCKY, and takes a moment to cry PSYCHO TEARS for his friend. SCARLETT witnesses this, which pretty much cements her as a firm candidate to recieve the BAUER SEED. In the span of a few hours, she’s seen the man be the most badass commando ever, and seen him cry manly tears for his friend. She would have jumped on the BAUER TOWER then and there if she could have.
Meanwhile, SKIRT and FIRST BITCH have a reconsiliation, and FIRST BITCH REPENTS! THE PIERCE remembers that he’d been shot, so he gets his wounds tended to. FIRST NON-BITCH goes to thank him, but THE PIERCE needs no gratitude! We also hear from FIRST NON-BITCH that something wack happened to MARTHA “FRUIT LOOPS” LOGAN, but THE PIERCE gets a little misty eyed at the mere mention of it, no doubt saddened that he will never again drift off to sleep with his head nuzzled in between those PRESIDENTIAL TA-TA’s. FIRST NON-BITCH incidentally, is looking a lot cuter when she actually smiles and has human interactions, and we can all see that THE PIERCE could TAP THAT ASS if he so wanted. Of course for a PROVEN PSYCHO like THE PIERCE, he only likes his pussy EXECUTIVE.
BAUER appeals to BOSS MOSS to continue the investigation, as according to 24 Rules, there’s still an EVIL OLD WHITE GUY in play. BOSS MOSS tells him he’ll do things by the slow-ass book, and SCARLETT, now a believer in the PSYCHO DOCTRINE, says the one thing we 24 viewers have known from the start - had we listened to Bauer and gotten out of his way, this would have all been over by now. YES! PREACH IT, SISTER SCARLETT! With BOSS MOSS arresting BAUER, SCARLETT has no choice but to do a PRESIDENTIAL REACH AROUND! She talks to the Chief of Staff, CITIZEN KANE, who agrees and orders BOSS MOSS to let BAUER do a MINI INTERROGATION on EVIL SCREECH! BOSS MOSS is so offended by this, he downgrades into BUTTHURT and fires SCARLETT! That’s okay, with no pesky rules holding her down SCARLETT can now freely mature into the TEAM PSYCHO member she’s meant to be!
Back at EVIL WHITE MAN HEADQUARTERS, THE ARCHITECT is pissed that SKIRT survived, but all is going to plan. What dastardly plan could that be? MAN NURSE is sent to silence EVIL SCREECH and set BAUER up for the fall!
At the White House, SKIRT decides to keep things IN THE FAM as she hires FIRST NON-BITCH as a special advisor. CITIZEN KANE isn’t too happy about it, but falls in line, and even offers the job with a smile to FIRST NON-BITCH. Well, the kindler, gentler FIRST NON-BITCH accepts it and all is well, right? Nope! She flips back into BITCH GROOVE and lays into CITIZEN KANE! Is that a SHIN SHERRY twinkle in her eye?!
BUTTHURT allows BAUER to MINI INTERROGATE EVIL SCREECH. EVIL SCREECH wakes up and nearly SHITS HIS PANTS when the first thing he sees is BAUER! …Don’t laugh, you’d shit your pants too! EVIL SCREEN is ready to SING THE BLUES, but MAN NURSE drops in like a FUCKING NINJA, paralyizes BAUER, kills EVIL SCREECH, and PEACES OUT just as fast as he came in! BAUER also makes a PSYCHO DYNAMIC EXIT, and calls BUTTHURT to let him know that they are being played! THE ARCHITECT meanwhile plans a DASTARDLY TERRORIST ATTACK on the east coast! The citizens of LA breathe a sigh of relief - “Finally! It’s not us!”
So now its the WORLD Vs BAUER (again) as the EVIL WHITE MAN EMPIRE makes its move! Will BUTTHURT get over being BUTTHURT and help our heroes out? Will SCARLETT once tune into the PSYCHO FORCE and become CARNAGE once more? How many CUERVO GOLD’s have DARTH ALMEIDA downed off-screen? Are DARIA-CHLOE and CHLOE having hot lesbian sex in a detention cell at the FBI? We’ll find out next week!
WTB chloe lesbo scene.
This post is just full of win. Repped
I died right when I read this.
Going to get Premium to rep a BUCKY avatar – any PSers in here?
Oh man…Az’s recaps are like having a good cup of espresso with a fine piece of cheesecake. 24 being the cheesecake in that analogy. Amazing.
has there been another season with at least two silent clocks?
Season 2.
George Mason quitting and President Palmer being assassinated.
Oh man. I was thinking this season was the best, then I started skimming through the stuff I forgot in the older seasons…
"In order to reestablish his cover as a member of Wald’s crew, Jack Bauer had Goren brought in to CTU Los Angeles on the orders of his parole officer, Rudy Collete. Without telling either George Mason or Michelle Dessler what he was about to do, Jack shot Goren in the chest at close range. He then cut his head off with a hacksaw and took the severed head to Eddie Grant as proof of his loyalty. "
Goddamn… I remember everybody going nuts when that shit went down.
I believe that was the point where Jack awakened to his PSYCHO POWER.
“I’m gonna need a hacksaw.” :chainsaw:
Damn I forgot about that! We have yet to see that level of psycho power this season. Also, keep the recaps coming!
Huh?? 
Season 2??
technically the last episode of season 2 was the assassination attempt of palmer.
Damn, I finally saw the newest episode.
RIP Bill =/
When you charge your meter all the way in bitch groove you can use the ultimate bitch technique the shin sherryu ken.
I can wait until there is some reason to stick that chick alone in a room with Jack and a chair.
When I saw MAN NURSE, I was ready to label him Future Doogie Howser, Daniel Craig or 007. But Dr. Quinn, Medicine Man works too. haha
Am I the only one who hopes Moss dies by the end of the season.