3121

I wasn’t implying to become a jerk/asshole. That’s not it at all. But it doesn’t cut it to just be “nice” either. No sir, not in the least.

You know, I can (and used to) say “Fuck it, if women can’t like me for who I am, who needs them?” The good 'ol high road. But you know what? The high road sure is lonely. You can be secure in the knowledge that you didn’t change for anyone or any circumstances…but we are human. Imperfect beings. And it’s damn hard to stay up there while everyone on the low road seems to be enjoying themselves.

After awhile, you start to think “Fuck it, what the hell is so great about up here? I’ll step down and enjoy myself like everyone else.” It’s a simple question of what do you want? Men can’t choose to be “nice” and expect to get women. The best you can hope for is luck. Otherwise you end up with a ton of female friends who aren’t interested in you, or no friends cause you told them to be gone. That’s not how I wanna be.

I’m trying so hard to take the low road, but all that high road bullshit nonsense is so ingrained in me, I can’t get it out. I did it once before a few years ago, and I almost did it after my ex, but it’s like that owl I got, among other things, won’t let me go. I want to, cause I’m tired of it. Something’s gotta change…and women have shown and proven it’s not gonna be on their end.

3122

I’m pretty fed up with trying to date girls my age nowadays. Finding a one night stand is always easy, but I get tired of trying to be someone I’m not to stand a chance with women nowadays. I’m sure Roxie knows what I’m talking about - the image glorified in pop culture and hip hop, the “thug” who is also really rich or whatever.

I try to be a nice guy, even though I’m a pretty big asshole. It’s just seems to me I get more women by being a mysterious asshole type guy than a good guy. I see assholes getting women, and although I do not want to be a huge asshole to everyone, I see that it works so if I emulated it, it would also work…

I don’t know what I’m getting at here, but I’m just going to be a big asshole like I normally am to people I don’t know, but a nice guy to those I do know. If I find a girl who is feeling that, then that’s great, but because I don’t dress like Nelly and I’m not “bawwwlin’” spitting country slang or what not, I doubt that it will happen.

3123

Hell yeah the high road is lonely. You can’t have your cake and it eat it too! DUH! You have to be paitent, and I do mean motherfuckinpatient. Or very strident about finding the woman you want and not setteling for anything else.

You can’t get to the low road b/c that isn’t who you are! It’s simple as that.

So you take the high road and you’re loney or you take the low road and you get chicks. But what’s the quality?

It’s obvious that deep down inside you really want that quality.

3124

It does sort of sound like it, but I highly doubt that that’s what Quicksilver was trying to say. I think the point of that is to say that women “secretly like” some of the qualities exhibited by abusive menwhich is why they keep going back to guys like that (and I’m definitely not saying that it always happens this way; it could also be fear).

I don’t think any guy here is an advocate of domestic violence or sexual abuse, but (and this is a big “but”) we do notice that abusive men often have no trouble attracting women. Why is that? I think it’s because, before they find out that these abusive men are assholes, women notice the “alpha” male qualities of these men. Here’s the thing: there are two ways (probably more, but I’ll stick with two) to “take the high road” and not negotiating your standards:

  1. Act like an asshole, and don’t give a shit about anyone.
  2. Be genuinely nice to people, and don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks.

#2 has a problem because it’s contradictory. How can one be nice and respectful towards other people’s wishes while not caring about what they think? It can’t happen. So, “nice” guys will always, always end up as wussies who let women walk all over them. And that’s boring.

Meanwhile, #1 is super easy to be because its elements go hand-in-hand. Don’t give a shit about other people? Then you’re probably an asshole. So this kind of “alpha” man is going to be far more common than #2. And, hey, if you don’t care about other people, why would you care about how others feel when you hurt them physically?

The important part of all this, however, is that women tend to be attracted to the part about not caring what other people thinknot by choice; they don’t choose to whom we’re attracted (nor do we). So what’s a guy to do if he wants to attract a woman? It seems like he can only do one of two things:

  1. Bait & switch: act like an asshole at first and turn nice later.
  2. Cocky & funny: “bust her balls,” as David D says, to assert his dominance and control while being funny about it.

Taken too far, C & F can seem like verbal abuse, but it really isn’t (or shouldn’t be). Done correctly, however, it’s the same thing as being “self-confiden[t] and sticking to [his] standards,” as you put it.

But it’s EXTREMELY hard to find the right balance of nice and C & F. The line we have to tread between “cocky enough” and “verbal abuse” is very thin.

Edit:

Getting back to my initial post, however, unless “We should have dated” is actually Womanese jargon for “We should date,” I’d honestly rather not hear it. It just reminds me of how single I am.

3125

So, about two hours ago, while I was playing 3S with my friend, the friend I mentioned before called me up. Apparently, she “remained as friends” with her dick of an ex, andsurprise, surprisehe let her down as a “friend” too.

i’m luvin’ it :rolleyes:

3126

I missed this before.

Women don’t “get rid” of assholes; the assholes dump them when it gets to the point where the pussy is more trouble than it’s worth. The issues train is coming, and asshole has jumped the stop before it gets there. So who does it all get dumped out on? …That’s right, US, the “nice” men of the world.

I’m tired of being lonely. Been there, done that, wrote the damn movie.

3127

Willmington NC’s nite life sucks.

3128

Go find where the horny female trainees are at, and your night life will really suck. Literally. :tup:

3129

I have my moments.

-Starhammer-

3130

Roxie seems to have misinterpreted what I meant by my comments but Septimus seemed to clear up the misunderstanding. The whole idea is to be a good person but one that attracts women too right? Well that’s what Cocky and Funny is. It creates attraction in women but it’s only teasing and playful humor not physically abusive.

Az it sounds like you need to go out and start practicing your Cocky and Funny. I actually need to do the same myself. When you start to talk to a woman that you’re interested in just try and think of ways to poke fun at her. A good way for all guys to think of how to treat attractive women is the mindset of your bratty little sister. You love her but you tease her too. If any of you guys want to talk about this more in depth just drop me a line on AIM sometime Quicksilver3007

I’ve got class in the morning so I need to go to sleep.

3131

I hate Mondays… I don’t even want to go work tomorrow… as always.

3132

Slide: got the CD,listening now.

Did you know Shirely was/is a cutter? Makes the title track take on a disturbing meaning.

3133

As I was saying on AIM, that shit is locked down.

Son, it’s all about hitting the clubs in fayettenam more, and going to Charlotte.
I want to meet some Charlotte woman.

I dont think i’ll be going way down to Willmington again, anytime soon.

Yep.

Well, she WAS a cutter. She supposedly turned her life completely around during the production of their 3rd CD. I guess that would explain that hair cut back in '01.

At this moment, i’m actually listening to track 2, Run Baby Run. I love the sound.

3134

What’s your aim?

I like Why Do You Love Me? and The Boys Wanna Fight the best, all though I gotta say Run Baby, Run is classic Garbage.

3135

orangemegaslide

Yeah those other 2 songs are great tracks too.
Run Baby Run reminded me a bit of the first album, so you’re right on the money when you said classic.

Do you have any B-side & live tracks?

I have plenty, but i’m missing quite a few. We can trade some over AIM.

3136

I think the only b-side I have is #1 Crush, no live tracks, although I have seen them live.

I’m on aimexpress right now, so I can’t trade, but if you zip them up, you can e-mail me the files to maria.jackson@gmail.com

3137

I have about 22 B-sides and about 20 live & remixes.

The thing about the B-sides are that about 4 or 5 are incomplete(bad mp3 i d/l’ed years ago) :tdown:

I don’t know if all of that shit will zip up and go through gmail, so I’ll wait till you get on regular AIM. That way it’s easier to pick and choose or some shit.

I’ve never had the chance to see them live.
I LOST a live mp3 track a few years ago somehow, from some Roskilde show. I think WMP deleted it by accident. It was a live Temptation Waits(which is easily one of my favorite songs by them), and it was hot. Can’t find any places to even download these tracks. There used to be this real cool site, where I got videos too, to rip them and make avs and stuff.

3138

Hey late night.

It’s another monday and I once again feel like I’ve been dragged through every inch of the Daytona 500…From outside the car on my face. My mid and lower spine, both legs, and left hand are still hurting over an hour later. hopefully, the motrin will kick in soon and I can get out of hurtsville.

Enough about me. I just wanna throw a random e-hi five to the members of the military in this thread. Just want you all to know that at least some people are very grateful to the fact that you’ve willingly signed a contract that will put you in harm’s way for less than minimum wage. I realize you ladies and gentlemen are every bit the same as me. Some are good, some are bad, but all of you are doing that job that so many ridicule, but so few can handle. Protecting this country. :tup:

-Starhammer-

3139

Cosign on that. Hope that you start feeling better there Starhammer. I myself have had a pretty busy day with classes. We have finals next week and it is imperative that I do well on my last physics test. I’m really stressing out about this. If I don’t have at least B’s in all of my courses then I’m going to lose my scholarship which is the last thing that I need right now. I’m kind of feeling sick to my stomach about that right now…

Anyways on a happier note I am now one step closer to getting myself a free PSP. I’ve completed the offer required of me and now I only need the 5 referrals. To anyone even remotely interested go and check out the forum it’s well worth it.

I hope that everyone is doing well. night all

3140

I just skimmed over a few of the post since I haven’t been here a while. So just disregard any of my comments that you all may think are half assed.

Starhammer-Thanks for the shout out the the military Star, but you’ve been here and done that. You know it’s all about the people that are in that make the difference and not the asshole robots. There’s noting like being under a higher up with some balls that says fuck the regs and are willing to put there rank on the line for what’s right. I’m making my way up the food chain and I’m getting a lot of respect for being that way. My troops respect me becasue I don’t bullshit them and I haven’t changed in anyway since I became a seargeant. This is the way it should be. I’ve been treated wrong in the past and even though human nature dictates that I should go back and do it to someone else. My coolness will not allow me to do so.

Everybody else discussing the friend, asshole relationship problems thing- I’m a nice guy, I don’t think I’m all that attactive and I still manage to date different women. The only problem that I have are women that want to be with thugs. I made a thread on this a while back because of that destiny child song. I read a story about a girl that was killed because she was dating a thug. She was driving his car. His rivals thought he was in it. They blasted the car while she was in it. Did she deserve it, I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. We’ve seen things like this happen to much in the past where women want to be down for there thugs and hold drugs are guns for them and end up doing hard time.

All I’m saying brings out dead horse is that you can still be a nice guy and get the girl. What women want are men and not door mats. Simple things like saying no and giving reasons why afterwards is the key. You may feel like your a grown man and that you shouldn’t have to explain yourself, but women need closure for everything. They aren’t human like us j/k (because roxie is reading). Aggresiveness doesn’t mean leading them around by their necks in public. Bad mouthing them and then laughing it off if your not just playing with each other in private. I read some of your post Azrael and you sound like a person that don’t take shit from man or beast (women). Just be direct. If you have an intrest in someone and they do some shit that you don’t appreaciate, then let her no right off the back that that shit aint cool. Don’t just go quitelty into that good night so the problem will fade away on it’s on while ignoring the person when you see them. That is just childish in itself.

When you were talking to that nurse and her family members kept getting sick one after another, you should have raised the bullshit flag and let her see it. There was this girl that I asked out one time. She said she loved seafood. I tought to myself, cool. I’ll just go ahead and take her to red lobster. Yeah I know I know. I can be a sucker sometimes, but I’ve got the money and it’s just food, so it doesn’t matter. What does she do, she did’t call me giving me a reason she didn’t show up or why she broke my date. I said ok, cool. I was a little mad at first, but then I thought to myself. I just saved a ton of cash on my car insurance. So I hooked up with my boys and we went to the movies and just chilled. When I saw her that following week, I went to her office and said what the hell? Told her that wasn’t cool in another colorful language but very tactful and smiling so it didn’t seem like I was getting on her or anything and then left it at that.

I did storm into the office to give it effect and everybodies attention. But after a while since it didn’t look like much, they stopped staring. So what happend when I got home? I had all types of meesages from this girl on my machine apologizing about the night before. Since she agreed to make it up to me, I told her that we are still going to the same restarunt, but that she now has to pay since she missed out on her free meal. She said fair enough. After that, we became a couple for about a year and we broke up because I went to a different country and I didn’t want to to the long distance thing. beats horse some more They want assertivness and for you to tell them whats on your mind ALL THE TIME!!! Silence is not golden. I also believe in throwing a little salt into the wound when females that I know are crying about what some asshole did to them. Tough love works a whole lot better then the sympathetic ear. And you won’t feel like an ass at the end of the day. I used to hate that.

She comes over, cries on your shoulder and without some much as a decent fuck. Gets up and leaves after your done mending her broken heart. Just so she can go and have it broken again. If they want us to just be friends, then they should make that shit known from the start instead of leading us on. There’s nothing quite like the pain of false hope. Yes ladies, we are stupid and can be naieve when it comes to matters of the heart. If I’m spending my time with you and we are going out alone then I think I’m getting somewhere. That is of course until you drop the “lets be freinds” bomb. Now we are pissed because either A. I could have bought more video games with that money. Or B. I could have been wasting it on another girl and quite possibly getting somewhere. And yes ladies, we do expect something in return. Not right away, but in the long run. Just for the record, if your cute, we can’t be freinds. Unlsess your my friends girlfriend, then that’s different.

ONEZ