Is hitting your kids ok?

[ForteZanzo]

Your question is boarder line to this:

Spoiler

http://files.sharenator.com/smallestviolinwz41_The_Worlds_Smallest-s550x285-85946-580.jpg

and

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http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3125/2557915855_67df6da91f.jpg

So what you’re telling me is… You suck fat dick? Ok.

I was talking about breaking the skin entirely, btw. Like, into muscle. But hey, if you think you could handle that in this badass point in your life, then by all means.

Lol what? I think you kinda missed the point of “there are a lot of other shit that happens when raising a child that does not involve hitting them; what were they taught/how etc contributes a whole lot more than the mere act of striking a child.” So since a lot of those studies constantly fail to explain how is it that conflict resolution worked in the cases and a bunch of other important shit, to me there are enough holes in them to simply say that smacking a kid makes them rotten.

Seriously though, stop being fucking stupid.

What you are saying has like nothing to do with what I said; I am not speaking about any studies, so maybe you meant to chat it out with Tanner. What I did say was that cultural differences do not serve as valid excuses in my eyes to abusing your child. And that stands. Spanking is one thing, but many of the people here are discussing beatings and the like, and insofar seem even unphased by an example of such cruelty, which is sickening to say the least.

So no, if this is what you perceive as foolishness, then I suggest you stop being fucking stupid.

This thread is full of messed up people. I hope they never procreate.

Quoted for emphasis.

[Ki_Shima]

Ah yes. The inevitable ‘you don’t have kids, so your opinion doesn’t matter’ nonsense. I was wondering when it would show up.

There are plenty of marriage counselors out there who have never been married. Should we discredit a therapist or psychologist because they don’t suffer from a mental disorder or because they’ve never experienced severe emotional or mental distress? Shit, there are NFL head coaches who played their entire careers on defense and never played a down on offense (and vice versa).

I don’t need to have children to look at a situation and asses what’s going on. All I need is a brain.

you dont need to REACT to a kids disobedience with a clap around the back side but at certain ages certain kids need to be reminded of the hierarchy in the house hold, a lot of kids have problems contributed by ADHD and or just plain bad influence and you need your child to learn how to respect the family

the west is ruled by christianity, christianity has created a family dynamic that respects the young and promotes the oedipus complexes that freud seems to have a hell of a day talking about. nowhere else in the world has a problem with hitting their children when it has to come to it, think about it

the fact of the matter is I don’t agree with beating the shit out of your kids or making them terrified of you no way, it shouldn’t come to that, but I agree that there are times where your kid should get a healthy dose of authority so that they’re familiar with the repercussions of their actions. you are making a fantasy land in your head of the worse case scenario, get your head out of the clouds.

btw comparing raising kids to hit all the targets you aim for to a coach training athletes in a football game? you are one deluded motherfucker. kids go through all kinds of psychological and biological problems, they are not full functioning adults, one small problem in their life could snow ball and have a profound effect on them throughout their whole life

WAKE UP

Ought to have been able to, but couldn’t. Sometimes it is better to admit weakness and seek help than continue down a wrong path.

Word.

Mind explaining this one, because I’d like to hope I’m not getting the wrong implications from this.

Beating your children = abuse. Period.

Word.

You misunderstood me; I am actually very much in support of what you’re describing as far as contributions to the problem. That said, I wasn’t implying that basic logic is enough, but the necessity that corporal punishment alone will not a good child make, especially past toddlerhood. The older they get, the less receptive they are likely to be to those kinds of punishments, because they are either adapting to it or maturing to the point of being able to question it. This is where explanations ought to take place, even if corporal punishment continues a little longer.

If you’re attacking your teenagers though, you’re either doing it wrong or fucked shit up past a point of return without serious aid.

if you’re attacking your teenagers then yeah you have messed up. you are arguing for the prevention of serious abuse, the problem with you though is you seem to have no experience of family dynamic within a responsible role

strange how every other country is doing better than us education wise, foreign people even know english better than native english speakers delusion everywhere

[drizzt360]

I spank my kids. Hell, I spanked that little girl in my avatar this very night.

[ForteZanzo]

if you’re attacking your teenagers then yeah you have messed up. you are arguing for the prevention of serious abuse, the problem with you though is you seem to have no experience of family dynamic within a responsible role

strange how every other country is doing better than us education wise, foreign people even know english better than native english speakers delusion everywhere

In order:

1. Actually, I do. I’ve raised four children, thanks. Didn’t have to hit them, either. Also, any abuse is serious abuse. Abuse by its very nature is to be taken seriously; it is not abuse otherwise. Perhaps you should rephrase some? In fact, I think a lot of people ought to, since ‘beating’ a child bears with it a very strong connotation that may in fact be stronger that people are meaning to imply. But it is not my fault in the least if people are using words wrong, and I can only work with the language provided.

2. What does one’s handle over the English (you’re supposed to capitalize, by the way) have anything to do with this conversation?

[rcaido]

Whether or not someone has kids is irrelevant. As I said before, assessing a situation doesn’t require someone to have gone through the exact same thing. It only requires a brain. If you don’t want an opinion on what you do with your kids, then don’t post in this thread. I see you as the one who’s crying a river because someone’s opinion isn’t congruent with yours.

If you, as an adult, couldn’t use your brain to resolve a conflict with a child and instead had to resort to physical violence because you couldn’t think of anything better, then you fucked up. Hitting kids may teach them to fear you, but it doesn’t teach them why what they did was wrong. Eventually, the hitting will become ineffective as the child gets old enough to question it on top of just too big to be intimidated by it anymore. Personally, I think it’s hilarious when a kid hits their parents back. The parents have only themselves to blame. After all, they just ingrained in the child’s mind that it’s okay to resort to physical violence when someone pisses you off.

Do you have kids?

[ForteZanzo]

Do you have kids?

Like he said, what does it matter; being a parent doesn’t automatically entitle you to a proper understanding or how not to be a fuckup.

[Ki_Shima]

In order:

1. Actually, I do. I’ve raised four children, thanks. Didn’t have to hit them, either. Also, any abuse is serious abuse. Abuse by its very nature is to be taken seriously; it is not abuse otherwise. Perhaps you should rephrase some? In fact, I think a lot of people ought to, since ‘beating’ a child bears with it a very strong connotation that may in fact be stronger that people are meaning to imply. But it is not my fault in the least if people are using words wrong, and I can only work with the language provided.

2. What does one’s handle over the English (you’re supposed to capitalize, by the way) have anything to do with this conversation?

1. wow you raised four successful, completely respectful and loving kids without ever having to hit them? well done! go into more detail about your parenting skills for the failures that have hit their children :wonder:

2. SRK has an auto spell checking system, if i cared that much about complete grammer on a forum it would be hard to mess up. duh

[rcaido]

Like he said, what does it matter; being a parent doesn’t automatically entitle you to a proper understanding or how not to be a fuckup.

i understand what he is saying just wondering if he has kids or do you have kids.

edit just check your profile. 4 kids and only 23

[pherai]

I don’t know about parents, but I had to babysit a bunch of times for some rude ass kids with super lenient parents, and I would knock them around quite a bit when they were rude or did dumb shit. Result is they stopped being rude and doing dumb shit. They also never told their parents cause they loved me. Not every babysitter lets you drink, get high and watch super violent anime.

Still, their parents thanked me since their kids were behaving less rowdily(not sure if it’s the knocking around part or the fact that they were getting high, but I did make a change in their lives)

plz say this is a joke post

[Zero]

I think most people can agree that kids need discipline. Hitting a child is one of many ways to enforce discipline, but it is a very dangerous tool to use.

Parents who are in the mindset of hitting their kids often fall victim of the temptation to hit their child out to vent out their own frustrations with the child. If a parent hits a child because the child is doing something that pisses them off, all the child is going to think is “I better not get my parent angry or they’ll hit me.” They dont learn anything that will help them be a productive member of society: they’ll just learn not to piss their parents off (many kids will then just try and make sure that their parents don’t catch them next time). The sad thing is, these parents think they are doing a great job because the kid may stop acting up in front of them, but since the kid doesn’t know why they shouldn’t do bad behavior, as soon as they are away from their parents, they’re going to keep doing it; next thing you know, the parent is beating them all the time for bad behavior outside their presence. The kid grows up, and now totally independent, does whatever they want all the time. They become a disappointment, and the parent will lament that they did the best that they could…but the truth is, they failed their kids because they didn’t teach them good values.

The core of raising good kids is by talking to them: explain to them why what they are doing is wrong. If they arn’t getting the message, they should be punished (by a hit, time-out, taking away of something they want), and while they are in this state of humility, again tell them why you’re are doing this and explain why it is wrong: why it is good for the child and those who the child cares about why they shouldn’t do it. Equally important is to set a good example yourself; kids watch how their parents act towards other people and use that to learn how they should behave (This is another reason why hitting a child is dangerous, especially as a first resort).

Unless they are a disciplined parent, I think most parents are better off not doing hitting their kid. It’s all too easy to get in the habit of just hitting your child when you are pissed off or embarrassed, then call it a day. And if anything can be learned from the posts in this thread, corporal punishment as a sole or primary disciplinary tool doesn’t have a good success rate.

[Dataika]

SRK Logic:

Not hitting kids = no discipline. My God.

The problem with today’s society isn’t that kids don’t get hit, it’s that they don’t get punished at all. Too many parents think of their kids as their friends and not as their responsibility. If anything an occasional spanking may be okay, although a recent study seems to indicate otherwise (http://today.duke.edu/2009/09/berlin.html).

[SaeQuo]

What is wrong with SRK?? This type of thread should never be on this site… Who posts on this site and actually has kids? I know I say that and I have soooo many, but really, I am in the minority and even I believe that most if not all the poeple posting in this thread are lost at best and confused about what their role as a “parent” actually is.

You have people claiming that they “raised 4 children” without any form of spanking/physical discipline, but this person is 23!!! If he was 16-20 when he started having kids and really thinks he has raised kids (or anything for that matter) already then he needs a spanking, badly.

Have some children and then make your decision. Spanking does way more than stop a child dead in their tracks. It is a tool used by parents, for better or worse. If you are not a parent and you have not made that decision for your children then please stop. If you have made the decision, remember that it was your decision to make, and that your decision is yours to own.

Should spanking your children be talked about on a public forum where you can not tell who is real and who is fake?? Hellz no!! Is it wrong to spank “your” children? Only you can decide, and when you do stick by your decision for your children.

Just to note, the English language and how it is taught and received by our young has plenty to do with the current topic, since it all stems for good parenting, which stems for proper discipline. Just saying’.

Oh yes, and to answer the question ever one is going to ask, yes I have 3 children (2 boys and one girl, the 4th is due on July 1st and she is a girl) am 27, am happily married, and have to spank/discipline/teach hard lessons to my children all the time. Sharing, caring, telling the truth, respecting others boundaries, hitting, spitting, kicking, running, yelling, inside voices, outside toys, girls vs boys, the list does not stop anytime soon, and as a great parent, I would be a fool to not use all the tools at my disposal in order to ensure that my children have the best future. Just have to learn how to use them and when they are “very effective!!!”

This is the internet so vids or it is a lie right???
[media=youtube]tqgJqvSpTnA[/media]

(they are 5, 3 and 1)

[media=youtube]3Iam2IXj7gc[/media]

( they are 4, 2 and 1 here)

[media=youtube]W12yIk9Yng4[/media]
(they are 3 and 2 here)

my children are 6, 4 ,2 now… They might seem good but I am far from done and they are far from grown… Might go spank my youngest right now for speaking English all wrong… Just joking!!

[SoVi3t]

edit just check your profile. 4 kids and only 23

lmfao. That doesnt’ mean you get to hand out parenting advice. LMFAO

[Lunaid]

snip

/thread

[SaeQuo]

/thread

Thank you, that was my point in making that post and if it did the job for one person then I can feel much better about what I have typed.

I am not joking at all. I really wanted people to stop telling others how to parent and just go home and fucking parent!!!

This is not a troll at all this is really how I feel and thank Lunaid for catching my point very clearly!!

[ForteZanzo]

You have people claiming that they “raised 4 children” without any form of spanking/physical discipline, but this person is 23!!! If he was 16-20 when he started having kids and really thinks he has raised kids (or anything for that matter) already then he needs a spanking, badly.

So now age is an issue? You people will look for any excuse to judge or dismiss another person, won’t you? How childish.

Yes, I’ve been at this for about eight years. Yes, that pits me at around sixteen at the time (I’m twenty-four next Tuesday). No, obviously I did not impregnate anyone, and the parenthood was thrown upon me by shitty family circumstances. But I’ve been doing the best with them that I can. Why does one’s life circumstances weigh in at any more or less than any other when considering the value of one’s words? If your circumstances are so much better, why does it justify being a worse person for it? Although, again, I am not altogether against spanking so much as the greater degrees of violence expressed thus far.

But whatever; you’ll probably ignore this anyway. Entitled fuck.

[Redbeard]

I’m with SaeQuo, everybody needs to make that decision for yourself. It’s something you should definitely put a lot of thought into though, and not just go off impulse or society’s views.

[debs]

Ok, so I was walking the other day and I saw this guy slap his kid for being a kid. I told the guy “don’t do that man” and then he started cursing at me, and I’m like “your kid is right there” and then he spits on my face and just leaves.

What are your thoughts on hitting your kids for discipline? cool or not cool?

Should I have done something to that mofo who spat on my face?

you should have minded your business.
that wasn’t your child.

one of the worst things a person can do is to question a person that is disciplining their child in front of the child while the child is being disciplined.

there was a reason as to why the child was being disciplined, correct?

anyway, he shouldn’t have spit in your face and you should have choked the shit out of him after he did, but yeah.

[ForteZanzo]

you should have minded your business.
that wasn’t your child.

one of the worst things a person can do is to question a person that is disciplining their child in front of the child while the child is being disciplined.

there was a reason as to why the child was being disciplined, correct?

anyway, he shouldn’t have spit in your face and you should have choked the shit out of him after he did, but yeah.

In that slapping case, maybe. But if I saw someone like full-on backhand, or shove to the ground, or any number of other completely violent and unnecessary things, I’d be going out of my way to ensure that person has a much harder time doing so, permanently if possible.

[SoVi3t]

So now age is an issue? You people will look for any excuse to judge or dismiss another person, won’t you? How childish.

Yes, I’ve been at this for about eight years. Yes, that pits me at around sixteen at the time (I’m twenty-four next Tuesday). No, obviously I did not impregnate anyone, and the parenthood was thrown upon me by shitty family circumstances. But I’ve been doing the best with them that I can. Why does one’s life circumstances weigh in at any more or less than any other when considering the value of one’s words? If your circumstances are so much better, why does it justify being a worse person for it? Although, again, I am not altogether against spanking so much as the greater degrees of violence expressed thus far.

But whatever; you’ll probably ignore this anyway. Entitled fuck.

the point being, that you haven’t ‘raised’ your kids yet. And you’re 24 with 4 kids. Means you should maybe read up on condoms or Rcaido’s no more man juice thread.